Was asked if I was bisexual?!?!?

Specialties Ob/Gyn

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Yesterday I had an appointment at a sliding scale clinic. I had my yearly pelvic exam/Pap smear. The doctor asked me questions before she got started, one of them being if I was bisexual.:eek:

I was so shocked that I couldn't gather my wits enough to ask her why she would ask me that. She saw my surprise and said that it was a question she normally asks. She didn't ask if I was a lesbian or the "have you had sex with a man that had sex with another man" question. She didn't ask if I was married. She only wanted to know if I was bisexual.

I was not offended, but surprised. I can't think why that would be necessary, and I have never been asked that question during such an exam. I have talked to the few nurses I know, and they are stumped too.

:confused:

Is it normal to ask a patient if they are bisexual before performing a pelvic exam/Pap smear?

Exactly. Or, in the case of my first husband, they couldn't understand how I could be married and not need birth control.

Just because you're married, don't assume you're having sex.:lol2:

Or...don't assume you're having sex with your husband, or only your husband, or with another woman, or with another couple....

The possibilities are endless. I wouldn't want to be the provider trying to sort through all those variables. They would need an algorithm....

Hmm. Maybe there's an app for that.:smokin:

Specializes in Geriatrics, Home Health.

The wording was extremely inappropriate, but I've encountered that, too. When I go for my yearly GYN exam, I have to fill out a long, detailed intake form. Among the questions are number of sex partners in the last year, number of lifetime sex partners, and whether they were male, female, or both. It also asks which gender I identify with most, including trans.

I would rather they ask and open the door for someone to talk about it who otherwise might just avoid the topic. Maybe could have been asked with a bit more tact but I think it was a valid question. I would be a bit thrown off by it too, don't get me wrong, I just think it's good that they are asking the tough questions.

Specializes in Tele, Home Health, MICU, CTICU, LTC.

I doubt that the question was asked with malicious intent. However, it could have been asked much differently. A more appropriate question would have been "Do you have sex with men, women, or both?". Unfortunately, some providers have a difficult time talking about sexuality and things don't come out quite right.

I once had a physician say to me "You are a heterosexual, aren't you?". I was in such shock that I got up and left. It was very clear to me that being a lesbian was not going to be acceptable to him.

Specializes in nursing education.
A physician once told me that he asks his patients, "do you have sex with boys, girls, or both?" He said that for younger clients it is vital information so that he can help assess for risk factors and provide education on safe sex practices.

This is how I was taught to ask it, rather than asking if a person is heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual.

For one thing, because it normalizes behavior. For another, it opens the door to an honest response and dialogue. For instance a man might identify as heterosexual, but sometimes have sex with men.

It's kind of like asking, "how often do you miss a dose of your medications?" because everyone does, sometimes...

Suzannek, I think you got it closest to the correct way to ask the question. Though I would probably use the terms male and female as in MY mind boys and girls are children (shudder!). As for what do bisexuals look like--simply, just like everyone else.:)

I agree that the orientation question is not the best way to elicit truthful information about sexual behavior, as the questions assume that someone is comfortable accepting an IDENTITY that corresponds with their actual behavior.

I have heard men say "I'm not gay! I just have sex with other men sometimes."

I have heard women say "I'm not lesbian! I just have sex with other women sometimes."

And even among gays and lesbians, there are those who don't believe it is possible to actually be a bisexual. (It is possible!)

It's best to focus the questions on behavior so that the proper safe sex education can be delivered. It's a good idea for all physicians/practitioners/nurses to practice asking these questions in a professional and nonjudgmental way, as it is our duty to provide the correct health care information to our patients w/o judgment...

This thread brought up another thought, though--re: writing this stuff down on a chart that goes in someone's permanent medical records. This is a country in which discrimination happens to LGBT folks all the time, and patients do not have the legal right to block insurance carriers (and employers in some cases) from accessing those health records as they relate to insurance claims. That could be scary, say, if a gay or bisexual man suddenly finds that he's been deemed uninsurable because he casually checked a box on a form, or FIRED because his employer (who self-insures) saw that he had requested an HIV test.

Specializes in ICU.

I don't see why that's so weird...

I was at a free clinic once and going through the questions.... thought I'd heard it all at that point and was unimpressed, until I was asked if I regularly came into contact with BLOOD during sexual activity!! I almost jumped out of my seat from disbelief.... I think I asked if there was a vampire cult living in the city!

this is what you should have said: Hmm, why is that an invitation? lol... then give her a wink and a smile! haha

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
Then as someone else said she should have asked about my sexual practices rather than my sexual preferances (sp?). She didn't ask me anything about my specfic practices. Nothing.

Some people are just awkward and are cluless how to ask uncomfortable questions.

Wow! What an interesting topic!

Just some thoughts - - Elvish mentioned a doc that did 'anal pap smears'. Kind of bogus in my mind, since there is no cervix in one's orifice, exactly what was that doc doing ??? Smears for STDs, perhaps?

Asking about the wide variety of possibilities seems like a good idea, but I truly wonder how many people are truthful, anyway. Bisexual? Multiple partners? Good questions, both. Sex toys? I am not so sure. And the two types of info are not exclusive. People with all types of partners, or no partners at all, use toys.

As for the blood questions, many people have sex during a woman's period. There would be blood contact in that situation.

If the questioning would be complete there should be some other questions that rarely come up. Are you having orgasms as often as you would like? Is sex painful in any way?

In my own case, my now ex-husband engaged in sex with another man. I never even kissed him again. And I insisted he get tested. Who asks about this type of situation?

Again, a very interesting topic.

Specializes in Community, OB, Nursery.
Wow! What an interesting topic!

Just some thoughts - - Elvish mentioned a doc that did 'anal pap smears'. Kind of bogus in my mind, since there is no cervix in one's orifice, exactly what was that doc doing ??? Smears for STDs, perhaps?

Nope, not just a 'STD smear'. Testing for the same cellular changes around the orifice and rectum that might suggest cancer as is done in cervical smears. Not so bogus. :)

http://www.natap.org/2010/HIV/032510_01.htm

http://www.cytojournal.com/article.asp?issn=1742-6413;year=2005;volume=2;issue=1;spage=4;epage=4;aulast=Arain

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