Thank you for sharing this story! I found it at just the right time. I am a nurse practitioner with severe depression. I've been depressed for as long as I can remember. I've been treated with meds several times, each with a little to a lot of success. I stopped the medications the last time I was put on them because I didn't like the way they made me feel (GI distress). I thought everything would be okay, but.......it wasn't. The spiral down really started to speed up about a month ago and for the last week all I could think of was getting out of my internal hell. I wanted to die! I had it planned and I had a list made of what needed to happen before I could carry out my plan. Thankfully I went to therapy Wednesday evening (I had cancelled the appointment and then called back to see if I could come). My therapist encouraged me to check into the psych hospital and I did. I was scared of everything that I could lose by going there.....my family, my job, etc. I only stayed 2 days. They wanted me to stay longer. I was so worried about how my time there would affect my family and my job that I begged them to let me leave. The reality is....I should have stayed longer. I don't want to hurt myself right now, but I know that I need to get better. I am at my rock bottom. I have a lot of work to do. They started my meds, but it could be 2-3 more weeks before they start working. Depression has been devastating for me. It has caused me to make decisions about my life that I would not have made had I been in the right state of mind. Now, I get to spend some time cleaning up my messes.