The worst thing I've ever seen on my L&D floor...

DeLovely · Jun 5, 2011

I don't know what to say, my heart goes out to you. I think you did the best you could in that kind of situation. :angel:

MelissaJ · Jun 5, 2011

I am so sorry. The poor mother and family....

Anisettes, BSN, RN · Jun 5, 2011

How tragic for all concerned. As a nurse though, I don't think it's possible for you to escape the reality that babies do die, that all living things die. It's one of those realities that you need to make peace with. You have the rare privilege to usher life into the world, and to stand witness when it passes out of it. It can be very hard though, I know. Hang in there.

Jenni811, RN · Jun 5, 2011

I hate to say this, but stuff like this happens any where you go. My first patient i had by myself, off orientation, came in with an MI. (i work on a cardiac step down unit). He was a healthy 52 year old man, 1 daughter my age, a beautiful loving wife, no prior medical history. He had a 100% occlusion to his RCA (not good!!). They were able to stabilize him until he was going to go in for a CABG in the morning. he was 2nd case so he was going to leave for surgery at 8am. I got on shift at 6:30 and went to do my SBAR at the bedside with previous nurse. We walked in and the patient started getting VERY restless, he was swinging his arms, lashing out, attempting to get out of bed within 2 minutes he goes unresponsive. GGREEEAT! first day all by myself, and a new grad.

Immediatly yell "CODE BLUE" and start chest compressions. Ok so we started coding this guy around 6:45 and people are asking me tons of questions, i got drips and lines hanging every which way, i'm trying to check compatability with like 12 IV drugs going, i'm running out of IV spots, the IV nurse can't get more started. The guy is posturing (not a good sign). I didn't get done with him until 2:30pm when finally things settled down, we did all that we could. I transferred him up to ICU to be placed on the RVAD.

Echo showed the complete right side of his heart was dead, it was not pumping at all. Only means of survival would heart transplant. Arrangments were being made to get him to a transplant hospital, but because of HORRIBLE weather med-flight was unable to fly and ground transport wasnt an option (Blizzard). We were stuck what to do. Kept him on RVAD. well, come to find out he was pronounced brain dead and never made it.

i was devastated. i kept asking my self, What did i do wrong? was there something else i could have done?? truth is...you can't blame yourself. We cannot save everyone. Things like this happen in the healthcare field no matter where you go. Its unfortunate that it had to happen to an infant.

After my patient i told you about died, the patient after that was a lady who was going home after a CABG. She was excited to go back to gardening after rehab and was happy she was living long enough to meet her grandchild who was on the way!! Stories like these are the ones that keep us going from all the bad that does happen in our profession.

Keep your head up!! You should feel honored that you were able to care for this family. I'm sure the care you provided them will never be forgotten. You allowed them time to grieve with their baby in a way they wanted to.

serenity1 · Jun 5, 2011

So sorry....we have had a few late term demises lately, too. In our hospital, we let them keep baby with them as long as possible. Sometimes they send them to the morgue and then request them back in the room. We had a day that we spent going back and forth with the baby for the mom. I have had to help with hand and footprints and locks of hair from the demises. It is very hard and sad. I keep it together for the family, but I can't help but feel bad for them and the infant. It seems to go in spurts. Last summer we lost a mom. That was difficult as well. Anytime you work in the hospital, you are at risk of witnessing human suffering--either from illness or loss. It is a normal human reaction to feel sad and upset about these events. We do work in the happiest unit, but when it's bad...it's very bad. Don't give up on OB, you can have sad events on any unit. We need caring nurses in OB!!! Take care! :)

cacentralvalley · Jun 5, 2011

I am so sorry, this must be so hard. I just want to say, as someone that has lost baby, thank you for giving her so much time and so much love. Thank you for letting her hold her child and dress her child. I wasn't able to do this. You gave her a gift, time with her child, and that is something great. Please think about staying on that floor, it takes someone special, like you, to have so much compassion for her.

Forever Sunshine, ASN, RN · Jun 5, 2011

Aw.. thats my biggest fear about working in OB. But maybe an OB nurse on here is able to tell you how often it occurs and some tips for dealing with but because no death is easy.

I just can't even begin to put into words the pain the family.. especially the parents must be feeling.

I had one of my residents pass tonight so I'm already emotional and your post just made me cry.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Jun 5, 2011

This is exactly why I work with folks at the other end of life's spectrum......I'm very good at being there for elderly patients and their families at the last, but I'd be a basket case if I had to deal with fetal demise or neonatal death. I lost a newborn daughter seven hours after birth 27 years ago and never really recovered from it, so I thank God for the nurses who CAN handle it. You are there to comfort and listen to brokenhearted parents, help them face the truth and begin to cope with their loss......and as bad as these tragedies make you feel, please know that you make a very real difference in the lives of the families you care for!

RedWeasel, RN · Jun 5, 2011

She needed you that day to be calm and you sound like you were. We do keep calm in the heat of the moment. Sounds like you are cut out for it and have learned alot. I think if it didn't affect you so profoundly then YES find a different place but it sounds like you are where you should be.

mama_d, BSN, RN · Jun 5, 2011

Honey, stay where you are. It is part of our burden as nurses that we handle such situations with grace and compassion...yet many are not able to so when it counts. By this I mean in front of the pt and family. There have been deaths I have been present at at the other end of the spectrum that still make me so angry that I get the shakes, years later...some things will stay with you always, and help to shape who you are as a nurse.

Without going into too many details, my hubby and his ex lost a baby when they we late teens due to an undiagnosed incompetent cervix. They were not treated well, and he still harbors a great deal of anger, all these years later, for those who treated him that way. I wish they had had a nursing staff caring for them that were more like you. Each subsequent delivery, he's had some anxiety about how the situation would be treated, especially if there was a bad outcome. It's terrible that the births of four other children were tainted by those memories and the apprehension they caused.

So stick it out...stay compassionate and caring...by handling this the way you did you have given them a gift that will last a lifetime. They will be able to remember those precious few hours without those memories being tainted by other needless negativity.

cubbycab · Jun 5, 2011

the longer I nurse the more...capable of being sad and accepting my emotions when I bear witness to others suffering...I found it very helpful to carefully look at my own thoughts and beliefs regarding suffering and coming to a state of self acceptance and peace...acceptance and peace with myself I could share with the client, instead of trying to fix the unfixable. Peace.