The most ridiculous birth plans you've had the pleasure of reading - page 4

I don't know when I became so jaded- I had a birth plan with my son...every single thing went the opposite of what we had wanted (induction, ITN with subsequent pukefest and finally stat section for... Read More

  1. by   klone
    Quote from adoRNo2015
    D&E is a dilation and extraction when a spontaneous abortion doesn't allow for all the product to be expelled from the body. I'm sure whoever came up with a laparoscopic c-section was tripping on something.
    Yes, I know what a D&E is. I was making an off-color joke.
  2. by   canoehead
    Quote from klone
    Yes, I know what a D&E is. I was making an off-color joke.
  3. by   IrishIzCPNP
    Quote from dariah
    Yep, totally serious.

    "....both these interventions are required in New York State by both the sanitary code and the hospital code (Sections 12.2 and 405.21(e)(4)(v)(b), 10 NYCRR). Neither regulation exempts infants whose parents object to the practice. Since these treatments are mandated by state regulation, informed consent is unnecessary, and hospitals and individual providers cannot be sued for administering them. Conversely, a provider’s failure to administer these treatments could result in a citation. A parent’s refusal of these treatments can be reported to Child Protective Services"

    My only real problem with birth plans is that many things just aren't feasible at my hospital.

    Back on topic....
    ...the other day I saw a line in a birth plan that stated "I would like to be reminded to remove my clothing before delivery." *head scratch*
    It says can be reported but not that it has to be. That's sad. I'm an L&D RN an my last vit k. He wasn't to be circd do bleeding risks were minimal. Sad to force this on parents. When do we stop taking away rights and choice?
  4. by   losbozos
    Seems strange but in the heat of the moment, clothing is the last thing on a mom's mind. Honestly, I once had a woman (g5+) arrive in the middle of the night wearing her Sunday best (hose, slip, jumper, blouse,etc.) in full blown labor. Two of us were tearing her clothes off managing to get her dress twisted around her upper torso, arms, & head. Everything turned out ok but all those clothes?! The the....?
  5. by   losbozos
    Have to agree. And we wonder why people choose home birth.
  6. by   brillohead
    My state (Michigan) also requires eye drops -- mandatory, even if you don't want them.
  7. by   morte
    What happens if a parent simply says "NO"?
    Quote from brillohead
    My state (Michigan) also requires eye drops -- mandatory, even if you don't want them.
  8. by   brillohead
    Quote from morte
    What happens if a parent simply says "NO"?
    Not sure -- I was told it was mandatory (state law) during my OB rotation. Nobody ever had a problem with it during my rotation. It didn't bother me, so I never looked into it further.

    I was much more concerned with the people who were choosing to circumcise their baby boys for no apparent reason.
  9. by   monkeybug
    Quote from FutureCRNA?
    I'm a student and taking OB next semester, so I only have personal experience to go on here. Your hospital really doesn't allow a laboring mother to walk around or to use a birthing ball?!? I understand that there may be exceptions, but to not allow it at all? Is this normal for other hospitals? I spend almost my whole labor (and a good portion if my pregnancy, I even took it to work with me) the first time around (second was breech) on my birthing ball and highly recommend them! I was also a high risk pregnancy with a perinatologist.... Just curious!
    Many facilities require continuous fetal monitoring if Pitocin is in use. Pit is very, very popular among doctors here, so most of our patients get it. Probably 98% of them. If you don't have the capability of telemetry monitoring, their walk is going to be very short, like to the end of the cable and back. Also, for some moms, especially big fluffy ones (I can say this because I'm a big fluffy mom ) it's very difficult to monitor the baby if mom is sitting straight up or standing. And the families that insist they don't need monitoring are usually the first to start screaming "lawsuit" when something gets missed. I had an earthy birthy client once who refused monitoring. Baby was having repetitive lates, but it was really hard to ascertain with Doppler and the little monitoring she would allow. Baby came out blue, limp, and trying to meet Jesus. Mama screams about us not doing our jobs and was gently reminded that she didn't want to be monitored, even when told there might be a problem. Her response? "YOU are the professional, I am just the patient, I didn't know any better!"

    I love birthing balls, and think they are great, but my hospital doesn't provide them. You want one, you better head to Target and buy one before you come to the hospital.
  10. by   Mermaidblues
    I am a L&D nurse and I also teach a pre-natal parenting class. I have seen many a nurse cringe or roll their eyes over a birth plan--in fact, I might have even done it a time or two myself! However, this is how I explain it to the first-time parents in my classes: 1. This is a hospital setting, therefore, there are rules and regulations that are there for your safety. Some things may not be negotiable.2. Please make a plan! But before you go print something off the Internet, do your homework and then gather your info. Talk to your OB provider, take a hospital tour, take a birthing class, read about the subject. Talk to your coach/SO about what you feel is really important to you, then talk to your OB provider again!3. While making this plan, remember to include the words 'flexible' 'if' and 'just in case' somewhere in there. Also remember: "Life is what happens while we are making plans!".4. You will remember the birth of your children forever. Try to make it meaningful for YOU. Not just based on how someone else thinks it should be.5. Trust your body to do the labor part and stay out of it's way! Trust your medical staff but never stop asking questions.
  11. by   Mermaidblues
    I loved my birthing ball during pregnancy and still do! However, our Dept. Director and Risk Manager have had them outlawed at our hospital. I still encourage pregnant moms to use them for comfort at home.
  12. by   Mermaidblues
    "Force" is a strong word. Circumcision is not the only thing that can put a baby at risk for a bleed. Head trauma at birth is the main reason for Vitamin K. Considering how babies get here, they are all at risk for that possibility.
  13. by   klone
    If she wasn't pushing for hours on end, and it wasn't an instrumental delivery, then I think it's entirely reasonable to decline the Vitamin K shot.