Teen daughters 1st pelvic exam... - page 2

by itsme

73,091 Views | 53 Comments

Hi all! I think this is the right place to post?? Any ways, my 16 year old daughter has to have a pelvic exam and is absolutly petrified. She has heard the many horror stories from all her friends, and now is very shaken up. ... Read More


  1. 0
    Educate her as to what happens in a gyno exam. Arrange to be with her IF and only IF that is what she wants. Some will want support, others would die first. I don't know your daughter, obviously. I remember my first gyno exam like yesterday. It was by a harried OB who was in between deliveries and also was hours behind and had HUGE hands...so you can imagine how it went.

    I was only 13 and having horrible menorrhagia and anemia. I wish my mom had not been too embarassed or "ladylike"....whatever....to thoroughly explain what they would be doing to me and how it might feel. I was totally unprepared for how uncomfortable and rough things would be. I was a virgin, but not treated like one. You get the point.

    Do all you can to alleviate her fear. Make sure she sees a practioner YOU would see..one who is gentle, kind and respectful. That is about all you can do. I hope her first visit goes better than mine went way back then. It set a horrible precedent for me in that I was never able to relax in a pelvic exam situation again. Want to hear a funny story? Really it will make you laugh....

    I was a 19 year old recruit in the US Air Force serving my first months. I had to have a pelvic exam like all new recruits. A big, burly lady lieutanant colonel gyn came in and did the exam. She was VERY respectful and gentle, but nevertheless, when she finished the rectal exam and went to move away, I squeezed my legs together TIGHT. Well, in so doing, I managed to trap her rather MORE than ample bossom in between them. Try to imagine how it looked: this giant of a lady stuck between my legs in the most delicate way asking me softly if I could kindly let her "go".....when I looked up there, I nearly died. And remembering her rank, (colonel! GULP!), I immediately released her. Rofl, nearly 20 years later, this memory is still clear as the day it happened and I now can laugh over it.......at the time I was humiliated and scared. She simply laughed it off, however; guess she had a great sense of humor!

    Hope that bit if levity helped dispel your worrisome mood some. I wish you and your daughter well!
  2. 0
    One thing that helped me feel comfortable before my first pelvic exam was reading "Our Bodies; Ourselves". It explains the procedure fairly well, and the empowerment-tone is good. You might want to buy your daughter a copy.
  3. 0
    My first pelvic was terrifying due to my mom and grandmother telling me how horrible it was. As I sat in the waiting room, imagining the worst, heart pounding, almost in tears . . all I wanted to do was bolt!

    Fortunately the doc was very kind and understanding. He did ask me a funny question though . . . "How long have you had hives?". I guess I broke out in hives all across my chest beforehand due to the stress.

    Well, it turned out to be no big deal. I was so mad at my mom and grandma that I drove straight over there to yell at them for scaring me unnecessarily.

    Just stay calm, let the doc know beforehand how nervous your daughter is and do absolutely nothing to make her fearful beforehand.

    I'm getting hives just thinking about how mad I was.
  4. 0
    I must say that I am one of those people who loves to go to the Doc. My first appointment for exam was scary. I also had a female doctor. My mom wanted to go and I said no. I said ya know I am grown and I can do this on my own. The doctor firstr took me into her office and talked. She told me about herself and her education and life and then she asked me the same thing. She asked me personal things such as what I wanted to do when I grew up and etc. Then she started asking me things like family history of cancer, heart problems, etc. This conversation went on for about 30 minutes. Then she asked me if I was confortable with her and I was like yeah she is a cool doc. I went in and she was wonderful. She told me what she was going to do and when she was going to do it. She got mad at the nurse for not having the cream warm enough. (i thought that was funny ) She was wonderful and My first experience was great. Tell her to just wait it out and voice her concerns with you. Tell her what you like and what you don't like and tell her that it's for the best. I would rather know that I was ok then not. Good Luck
  5. 0
    My mom made my first appt when I first went. She insisted that a female doc or NP did the exam. A female PA did the exam with the assistance of a female nurse. I don't know why, but I was more comfortable that way and every exam since then.

    Except for the last exam. I had to go to a new office since I had moved out of state. It was sort of a ASAP visit d/t needing a new Rx. The Doc was male and I asked for a nurse to be present. The FEMALE nurse acted as though she was annoyed that I had asked for someone else to be present.

    So, I guess my advice is females all around and someone you know you can trust. Needless to say I fell like on my next exam I need to find a new office.
  6. 0
    Originally posted by Flynurse

    Except for the last exam. I had to go to a new office since I had moved out of state. It was sort of a ASAP visit d/t needing a new Rx. The Doc was male and I asked for a nurse to be present. The FEMALE nurse acted as though she was annoyed that I had asked for someone else to be present.


    That is standard practice with every doc I have been to. I have never had to ask for a female nurse to be present... they just always waited until she was available and asked her to come in. It is definitely a liability issue, and all the docs I know have a female present for exams. Even antepartum patients in my OB unit... the docs always ask us to come in when they do a vag exam. I was surprised to hear that some docs DON'T.
  7. 0
    My first pelvic was at a Planned Parenthood, when I was 16 (and still a virgin). They were great. Inexpensive, and before I even went into the exam room, they had a counsellor speak to me about how a vag exam worked, how to lie in the stirrups, etc. Some things--like bending your knees--are counterintuitive, and it helped to have things explained before I was naked.

    The NP who examined me was fabulous, kind and, more importantly, very fast.

    Jennifer
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    ................
    Last edit by perfectbluebuildings on Aug 20, '10
  9. 0
    Rayrae, please go to Planned Parenthood. My first exam was there; really, it's not that bad! They will make you comfortable so you're not ticklish, but you really should start getting routine exams.
  10. 0
    Be sure to let your daughter know also how quickly the worst of the exam is over. Before I had my first pelvic, I thought I would have this horrible long exam with my legs wide open. When I realized the pelvic itself only takes a minute or two, I thought oh, well that wasn't bad! It's such a simple thing, but knowing that it's over so quickly would have made me feel a lot better.


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