This is such an important time for the parents. Our hospital has incorporated a Bereavement Program that is just wonderful (we, too use the leaf w/teardrop).
We have nurses who have went thru bereavement training, and when possible, they take care of these families. However, we all know this isn't a perfect world, and things happen sometimes when these nurses can't be there, so we formulated a check-list of everything (all the little details, too). We have handouts about stillbirth, miscarriage, neonatal death, greif of grandparents, mothers, fathers, and talking to children about perinatal death...etc). When we have a demise or when a woman loses a pregnancy (even ectopic or very early), we speak w/them, give them info, including a voice mail # that if they need help/resources later, they can call us. Many women have called months later and we have been able to counsel them or refer to other services.
We encourage these families to keep these babies as long as they like, and do not send the baby to the funeral home until the mother leaves, so if they would like to see them again at any time, the baby's still there. We also give lots of momentos, memory box, blanket/hat/booties, frame, lots of pics, stuffed animal, hand/footprints, lock of hair, etc..
One of the nurses (Love ya, Jamie) that started the bereavement program about 7 years ago took it upon herself to find out what exactly happened to <20 week gestations that the family chose not to bury. Well, we had a tremendous surprize! The pathologist who had been there for 22 years did not have it in her heart to throw the babies out with waste material, so we had ALL of them (ectopics, miscarriages, demises), preserved in containers in the morgue. I know it sounds gross, but no-one knew about it...it wasn't like there was babies floating around in jars everywhere. The pathologist said she knew in her heart someone would take care of them. Well, Jamie took it upon herself to find a resting place for these babies. She got on the phone, and solved the problem! A local funeral home donated cremation, a local cemetary donated a cemetary plot, and our nurses paid for a gorgeous headstone that reads "The most beautiful things in life cannot be seen or heard, but are felt with the heart~Helen Keller". Four of us went to the morgue and removed the babies (that was REALLY tough), and I know for certain that a couple were near term that had been there since the early 80's (we just guessed the Doc's may have fudged the EDC or something if the parents couldn't afford burial?). There were over 200 all together. After they were cremated, we had a beautiful graveside service and launched balloons.
Now we are able to tell these families about the site, and we have a cremation every year or two, depending on how many we have. Every October (last week, actually), we have a graveside service, and these families are welcome to come. But I think it helps us nurses just as much.