I would remove the section on what you did in nursing school and expand on what your duties were as a corpsman/working as a civilian. We all know what your clinical experience was in school and this is fairly redundant for most employers
. You have a fairly robust medical background for a new grad due to your military and civilian experience... tell us what you did and what your responsibilities were. Were you in charge of people, were you an NCO? Were you deployed? What did you do in the civilian facility, what were your responsibilities there?
I would definitely expand on your military background. Not all employers know or understand what exactly you were trained to do... tell them