You Might Be A Nurse....

Nurses Humor

Published

You Might Be A Nurse If...

**You hope there is a special place in hell for the inventor of the call light.

**You believe that not all patients are annoying...some are dead.

**You believe that the gene pool could use a little chlorine.

**You have told a patient to "get some rest now" and they die right there in front of you and their family.

**You believe that no matter how much you care...some people are still assholes.

**You believe that PIA (Pain in the ass) is an acceptable admitting diagnosis from ER.

**You don't mention the name of a frequent flyer so as not to invoke his spirit to bring him/her to the ER and then to your unit.

**When asked "What color is the patients diarrhea or vomit?"...you show the doctor your shoes.

**You can discuss dismemberment over a meal like it is normal.

**You look in your closet and you can't find anything non-medical to wear.

**You can comfort anxious patients with..."I know just how you feel. It's my first IV too."

**You can cover your mistakes with versed.

**When you get a call telling you the name of your next patient you have the care plan done before they get to the floor.

**When called for orders...the MD says..."Write them yourself-you know the patient better than I do."

**You believe all bleeding stops....EVENTUALLY!

**You believe everybody has to die sometime.

**You ever told a confused patient your name was that of your co-worker and to YELL really loud if they needed help.

**You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.

**You've ever held a 14 gauge needle over a patients vein and said..."okay...you're going to feel a little stick."

**You shock someone with an unrecognizable rhythm until you get one you do recognize.

**You believe in the aerial spraying of prozac.

**You have encouraged obnoxious patients to sign out AMA.

**You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

**You believe every waiting room should have a valium salt-lick.

**You refer to vegetable...and you don't mean the food group.

**You firmly believe that "too stupid to live" should be a diagnosis.

**You have to leave the patient before you begin to laugh uncontrollably.

**You believe a good tape job will fix anything.

**You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.

**You are totally astounded when someone from a nursing home is understandable.

**You look at the veins of everybody you meet.

**You think a referral to Dr. Kevorkian is totally appropriate in some cases.

**You have ever restrained somebody...and it wasn't a sexual experience.

Specializes in NICU, Infection Control.

Good. Verrry, very good.:D

One to add----

You remember people by their diagnosis

ME

OMG!! I can't stop laughing!!! (((tears rolling))). I copied this to take to my ethics instructor (luckily she does have a great sense of humor!!! Thanks!!

Great post! LMAO

Specializes in Med-Surg Nursing.

There are a LOT more of these at www.weirdnursingtales.com I[/ur copied them--its about 14 pages but VERY FUNNY!:D :D :D

I think this is the first time I really laughed for a week.

Thankyou.

+ Add a Comment