Why are patients...?

  1. 1 Why are breast augmentation patients always so darn surprised that it hurts?

    Why does Dr. Diety always think his patients are going to go home from surgery the same day when they always end up as complicated inpatients?

    Why does "q" mean "every"?

  2. Enjoy this?

    Join thousands and get our weekly Nursing Insights newsletter with the hottest discussions, articles, and toons.


  3. Visit  NurseOnAMotorcycle profile page

    About NurseOnAMotorcycle

    NurseOnAMotorcycle has '4' year(s) of experience and specializes in 'Med-Surg 1, Emergency 3'. From 'Not Tellin, US'; Joined Jan '11; Posts: 844; Likes: 1,962.

    29 Comments so far...

  4. Visit  Hygiene Queen profile page
    7
    Why do visitors always insist "Mom has to pee"?

    Why do old people always want to give you chocolates that are unwrapped and no longer shiny?

    Why are pills packaged so that you need a machete to open them?

    What DOES housekeeping actually clean?

    Why do the stars go on shining?

    Why do my eyes want to cry?

    DON'T THEY KNOW????
    Last edit by Hygiene Queen on Mar 2, '11 : Reason: It had to be done... typo...
    Sparrowhawk, LPNweezy, JennyMac, and 4 others like this.
  5. Visit  RNTOBE_1970 profile page
    2
    Why do doctors think that telemetry prevents a patient from coding?
    trudlebug and NurseOnAMotorcycle like this.
  6. Visit  ohio1965 profile page
    3
    sorry if this upsets any one. i am a newbie on here. I am an 8 year vet as stna 3/4 of the way through lpn school but my question is why do nurses put call lights on when residents want water, taken to Br, of transfered to bed. I know they are busy but if the residents does not have alarm the nurse could taken to br and told to pull light, pouring water from pitcher to cup or transfering to bed does not take that long. ok i guess i will make a lot of enemies know just had to get that off my chest.
  7. Visit  sevensonnets profile page
    5
    When you have a little old lady on the toilet why is it that when you hand them 4 squares of toilet paper they shriek, "Oh honey that's too much!" and they tear it in half? Why is it when you pour half a glass of water for a little old lady they go "Oh honey that's too much!" Well, maam, just drink half of it! Why do they think that the kitchen will be mad at them if they don't eat their cake so they want you to take it home to the kids even if they ate a few bites of it?
    juzme, annister, mds3.0nurse, and 2 others like this.
  8. Visit  Hygiene Queen profile page
    7
    Quote from sevensonnets
    When you have a little old lady on the toilet why is it that when you hand them 4 squares of toilet paper they shriek, "Oh honey that's too much!" and they tear it in half? Why is it when you pour half a glass of water for a little old lady they go "Oh honey that's too much!" Well, maam, just drink half of it! Why do they think that the kitchen will be mad at them if they don't eat their cake so they want you to take it home to the kids even if they ate a few bites of it?
    Most of these patients lived through the Great Depression or other very hard times.
    They have lived their lives conserving because that is what they learned they had to do to survive.
    catshowlady, LPN_FTW, Trenia, and 4 others like this.
  9. Visit  sevensonnets profile page
    2
    You do realize HQ that this is the humor section? I've been a nurse for 32 years. I understand psychological/historical implications of the Great Depression. I was posing my reply in question form as did the OP.
    aachavez and annister like this.
  10. Visit  NurseOnAMotorcycle profile page
    7
    Why can't fully functioning patients move their own cell phones two inches to the left?
  11. Visit  sevensonnets profile page
    0
    Or the kleenex box one quarter of an inch to the left or the right?
  12. Visit  Hygiene Queen profile page
    1
    Quote from sevensonnets
    You do realize HQ that this is the humor section? I've been a nurse for 32 years. I understand psychological/historical implications of the Great Depression. I was posing my reply in question form as did the OP.
    My apologies.
    sevensonnets likes this.
  13. Visit  JenTheRN profile page
    6
    Why do troublesome patients come in after you mention their name, or take out their chart? It's like they've felt some disturbance in the "force".
    catshowlady, annister, RNTOBE_1970, and 3 others like this.
  14. Visit  LaterAlligator profile page
    10
    Why does the full moon mean that all my dementia residents take it literally and keep taking off their pants every few minutes?
    86toronado, trudlebug, Sparrowhawk, and 7 others like this.
  15. Visit  mama_d profile page
    3
    Why does our toothpaste come in "clean mint flavor"? Seems redundant to specify...who would want "dirty mint flavor"?

    Why are our oral care swabs lemon flavored? How many people suck on lemons when they want a clean feeling mouth?

    Why is it that every time I have to stick a Foley in a demented, combative LOL, she invariably has the most screwed up anatomy any other burse has ever seen? (Of course, I've seen it before...the last one I popped a Foley in looked that way!)

    Why is it that the only times my kids are sick enough to go to the doctor is after I just went through all seven circles of hell the night before at work? I'm sure there have been other parents there who think I'm on crack b/c of how strung out I look by then...

    Why is it that my husband always calls me for mundane issues like "what should I make for dinner" when I'm coding or rapid responding a pt? It's like he's psychic.

    Conversely, why is it that a pt always decides to go bad when I'm in the middle of a conversation with hubby that starts out along the lines of "I think one of the kids gave the other a concussion..."

    Why is it that the sickest pt you have always has the doc you are guaranteed to NOT be able to get ahold of in the middle of the night?


Nursing Jobs in every specialty and state. Visit today and find your dream job.

Top