Why are patients...?

[NurseOnAMotorcycle]

Why are breast augmentation patients always so darn surprised that it hurts?

Why does Dr. Diety always think his patients are going to go home from surgery the same day when they always end up as complicated inpatients?

Why does "q" mean "every"?

[NurseOnAMotorcycle, ASN, RN]

Why do patients fill the spec cup up to the brim-- with urine dripping down the side... and then set it down on the nurses' station?

ROFL!!! Ok you owe me a new keyboard!

[tencat]

Why does everyone have to die at 2:00 AM????

[LPN_FTW]

Why does everyone have to die at 2:00 AM????

Here they usually wait until shift change.

[Turd Ferguson]

Why are cold symptoms an emergency?

[annister]

Why can you only ask for........one........thing..........at..........a...........time..........??????

When I say "Is there anything else I can do for you right now?":)

You say "Nausea Medicine.":rolleyes:

I say "Sure, let me get it. Is there ANYTHING ELSE I you'd like me to bring you when I get your Phenergan?":o

You say "Nope.":rolleyes:

Three minutes later, I'm back with your Phenergan and you say "Can I get something for pain?":rolleyes:

I say "Sure, give me just a minute and I'll bring your pain meds. ANYTHING ELSE WHILE I'M GETTING THAT?":o

You say "Nope."

Just a minute later, I say "OK, here's your Dilaudid. Call me if you need ANYTHING, otherwise I'll be back to check on your pain level in 30....yadda yadda.":)

You say "Can I have a Sprite.":idea:

:eek:And so it continues from sprite.......to another blanket.........to more ice..........to a sleeping pill (to which I say how about two?)...........Good Lord people, I'm lucky enough to have both arms just give me a damn list and let's get this done already!

[K+MgSO4, BSN]

Why is a vistor comes up to the desk and states "mum needs pain meds / nauseated / wants a blanket"

I'm not your mum's nurse so I don't know who mum is. A name or bed number is a great help! I have plenty of mums in here. Narrow it down!

I do acutually say this to people. "we have plently of mums / dads / brothers here. A name helps!"

To which the response is Oh but you looked after them last week and I spoke to you then.......................LAST WEEK...........................where is the brick wall?