What Is Your Most Gross, Yucky, Disgusting Nursing Horror Story? - page 23

:D Here is my most gross, yucky, disgusting nursing story! I was working a night shift on a tele floor as a new Nurse. We had this one poor old lady who was confused and was restrained as... Read More

  1. by   lola & lila
    Quote from alli
    I work on a Gen surg unit. As a new grad I was assigned a patient on 48 hour stool collection. The patient would keep the stool in the bathroom and our job was to transfer it from the bedpan to the container. The stool was mucousy and very soft, the worst smelling. I was gagging the entire time I was transfering it into the container. Yuck!! The funnest thing was the container was kept in the bottom of the fridge. I can say I feel funny anytime I use the fridge even 2 years later!!!
    This just reminded me, quite a few years ago while working in a Laboratory...I ws giving instructions to an alderly man on how to obtain a sputum culture...well you know that a sputum needs to come from "DEEP" w/in..a very deep cough so to speak..well these were my instructions & they must have been wayyyy off base.The old man brought me back a sterile specimen & it was not sputum... can you believe when I said that "you need to give me a specimen from DEEP W/ in", that this man took it literally..he gave me a deep w/in stool specimen...myself & the other girls were saying...this looks aweful..how could he cough this up...he must be really ill....come to find out...he sh*t in the cup!!! I rest my case & nothing really shocks me anymore !!!
  2. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from lola & lila
    This just reminded me, quite a few years ago while working in a Laboratory...I ws giving instructions to an alderly man on how to obtain a sputum culture...well you know that a sputum needs to come from "DEEP" w/in..a very deep cough so to speak..well these were my instructions & they must have been wayyyy off base.The old man brought me back a sterile specimen & it was not sputum... can you believe when I said that "you need to give me a specimen from DEEP W/ in", that this man took it literally..he gave me a deep w/in stool specimen...myself & the other girls were saying...this looks aweful..how could he cough this up...he must be really ill....come to find out...he sh*t in the cup!!! I rest my case & nothing really shocks me anymore !!!
    Well, ya can't say he didn't give you a specimen from deep within!!!!! :chuckle :hatparty:
  3. by   Louisepug
    Quote from Dayray
    I was a new CNA in the nursing home and feeling very proud of my first step in my chosen career.

    A nice littel old man in a wheel chair waved at one of my co-workers (a pretty littel 18 year-old, fresh out of high school sugar and spice type of girl). He said "honey come over here please" as she bent down to talk to him. He moved the blanket covering his legs and SPLAT! he ejaculated right in her face and mouth. I never saw her again and thus my nursing career beagn...........
    WOW!!! That is really freaky! :uhoh21: Louisepug
  4. by   ktwlpn
    A friend and I volunteered at the local VA hospital years ago...called bingo...I remember a fella masturbating under the table....That does not tuen a hair on my head any longer...I have had residents in LTC masturbate with their hot cereal..
  5. by   teeituptom
    with their hot cereal

    I will never look at oatmeal again
  6. by   missmercy
    [I too had a LARGE patient -- weight was determined by weighing an empty squad, returning to the hosp, filling it w/ fuel, putting the pt in it and returning to the truck scale.... 750 ish. She was discharged from the hospitla and admitted to our home care rapidly -- hosp staff couldn't take care of her due to room size and number ofstaff required to do every thing for her, Three of us were sent to her home to bathe her, "walk" her to the BR and change bed linens. We drew straws to see who had to sit in the BR with her -- besides her daily "dump" she had one of many cigs then too. The second shortest strw got crothch wash duty -- one day we were scrubbing away and our 2nd strw paerson, kneeling on the floor with her arm between these GIGANTIC thighs starts laucghing... when we asked what was so funny -- she whispered ( while laughinguncontrolably) "I'm stuck" We oulled the thighs apart and she was saved!!! However, she then was nearly rolling on the foloor she was laughing so hard and gasped "You guys! I had a washcloth!" It was still in there -- somewhere! That was quite a day!!! Will have to share part 2 another time -- gotta go !
  7. by   FranEMTnurse
    don't wait too long. We want to hear the rest of it.
  8. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from ktwlpn
    A friend and I volunteered at the local VA hospital years ago...called bingo...I remember a fella masturbating under the table....That does not tuen a hair on my head any longer...I have had residents in LTC masturbate with their hot cereal..
    That's an excellent example of the imagination gone wild.

    Low and behold the thoughts of mankind.

    Where the mind goes the man follows.

    :uhoh21: Lord help me to keep my mind intact. For only You know how far the human mind can make the body go when it comes to fanticies and imagination.
    Last edit by FranEMTnurse on Mar 22, '04
  9. by   karenG
    reading this lot......... its surprising we are as sane as we are!!! and not surprising that only a nurse understands another nurse.

    how do we survive?? Must be the wicked SOH we all seem to develop!

    Karen
  10. by   missmercy
    Ya know,
    My husband hates to go to dinner with our doc/nuse friends -- 'cause we talk about ANYTHING and EVRYTHING regardless of what's on the table. Particular favorite was when we were discussing wound care -- one gal had ordered pea soup, another had a mustard sauce dip and one a sweet/sour sauce that looked slightly serrous anguinous -- needless to say, the discriptions of whatever was oozing from the wounds we were discussing was .... very realistic and easily visualized. OOPS!! Didn't bother us, but we had a coupleof spouses that brought us back to the non-medical world quickly!:imbar
    So hubby says NO DESCRIPTIVE DISCUSSIONS during meal!!! My kids are just as sick as I am -- they do it too!! POOR Hubby!!!:chuckle

    My youngest says "It's boring when your mom's a nurse -- ya can't gross her out and she doesn't get excited when you get hurt unless the blood is spurting from somewhere!" (Overheard while talking to a chum)
  11. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from karenG
    reading this lot......... its surprising we are as sane as we are!!! and not surprising that only a nurse understands another nurse.

    how do we survive?? Must be the wicked SOH we all seem to develop!

    Karen
    I do believe you've got it. But people other than nurses have the SOH humor too. For example, my oldest daughter in a geneticist, and she has come up with some rather sick and disgusting, but funny things at the supper table no less many times, and of course I always fed into it too. I was FUNNNNNNNNNN!
  12. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from missmercy
    Ya know,
    My husband hates to go to dinner with our doc/nuse friends -- 'cause we talk about ANYTHING and EVRYTHING regardless of what's on the table. Particular favorite was when we were discussing wound care -- one gal had ordered pea soup, another had a mustard sauce dip and one a sweet/sour sauce that looked slightly serrous anguinous -- needless to say, the discriptions of whatever was oozing from the wounds we were discussing was .... very realistic and easily visualized. OOPS!! Didn't bother us, but we had a coupleof spouses that brought us back to the non-medical world quickly!:imbar
    So hubby says NO DESCRIPTIVE DISCUSSIONS during meal!!! My kids are just as sick as I am -- they do it too!! POOR Hubby!!!:chuckle

    My youngest says "It's boring when your mom's a nurse -- ya can't gross her out and she doesn't get excited when you get hurt unless the blood is spurting from somewhere!" (Overheard while talking to a chum)
    Ya got that right honey! The only thing is when we see it affects others in a not so nice way, we tend to do it even more. My wonderful caregiver Bethanne is just like me too. She's a girl after my own heart. When her kids ask her not to embarass them in front of her peers, it just turns her right on. I just absolutely love it. In fact, she and I cooked up an idea to surprise her hubby for Valentines Day only because we knew it would embarass them.

    Picture it: I weigh a huge 300lbs. (and to think I used to wear a size 6. Ah well, I must let bygones be bygones. Them blankety blank med side-effects did a number on this here bod; BIG TIME.)Well anyway, getting back to our story. We decided to dress me in a fancy negligee type PJs. Then Bethanne gave me a flower to hold between my teeth, and I had my nose glasses on as well. Bethanne then covered me up. When hubby arrived, she told hubby I had a Valentines Day present for him, and then she revealed the present. His face turned crimson, and he just stood there and giggled.

    But it's ever so much fun!!! I don't wanna grow up. I'm a second time kid. Da, de da, dum de dum. :hatparty:
  13. by   missmercy
    My Husband would DIE!!!

    He is a bit sheltered and conservative! Don't know how he puts up with me!!( and to think I have corrupted the kids too -- HMMMMM! OH WELL!) He will never be able to say that life w/ me is boring!

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