Terms we will not admit to using - page 6

You all have heard of them and of course we never actually use any of these terms but somehow they are there and everyone knows them....... There the "unofficial" abbreviation list like ... Read More

  1. by   Roy Fokker
    This is a fairly common list :::

    Most of the definitions on the following lexicon of medical slang appeared
    a few years ago in the National Lampoon. Some of the definitions are funny. Most are sick. All are used in respected hospitals.

    ================================================== =========================

    BOBBING FOR APPLES: Using the finger to unclog a severely constipated
    patient.

    F.L.K.: "Funny-looking Kid."

    F.L.P.: Parents of an F.L.K.

    CRUMP, GORK, VEDGY: A patient requiring intensive care, incapable of
    movement, and apparently unaware of his surroundings.

    HORRENDOPLASTY: A difficult and time-consuming operation.

    BAG, BOX, COOL, STIFFEN, X: To die.

    CROCK: Hypochondriac.

    MARRIAGEABLE MONSTER: A young female patient who has successfully undergone major plastic surgery.

    GOMER: A senile, messy, or highly unpleasant patient.

    FASCINOMA: A "fascinating" tumor; any interesting or amusing malignancy.

    DROOLER: A catatonic patient.

    CUT AND PASTE: To open a patient, discover that there is no hope, and
    immediately sew him up. Well, almost immediately. Sometimes young
    surgeons practice surgical techniques for a while first.

    FOUR F-ER: A gallbladder patient. "Fat, forty-ish, flatulent female."

    PINKY CHEATER: Latex finger cover used in gynecological and proctological examinations.

    ROAD MAP: Injuries incurred by going through a car windshield face first.

    A HOLE-IN-ONE: A gunshot wound through the mouth or rectum.

    THE "O" SIGN: The letter O as formed by a patient's gaping mouth.

    THE "Q" SIGN: A patient giving the O sign with his tongue hanging out.

    THE DOTTED Q: The "Q" sign, with a fly on the tongue.

    SIDEWALK SOUFFLE: A patient who has fallen from a building.

    LOOSE CHANGE: A dangling limb in need of amputation.

    BULL IN THE RING: A blocked large intestine.

    GONE CAMPING: Reference to a patient in an oxygen tent.

    EATING IN: Intravenous feeding.

    BORDEAUX: Urine with blood in it.

    SCRATCH AND SNIFF: A gynecological examination.

    ANGEL LUST: A male cadaver with an erection.

    HIT AND RUN: The act of operating quickly so as not to be late for another
    engagement.

    CAPTAIN KANGAROO: Chairman of a pediatrics department.

    ROOTERS: Indigents and hangers-on who gather in big-city emergency rooms in order to be entertained by legitimate cases.

    SHORT-ORDER-CHEFS: Morgue workers.

    LOOP THE LOOP: Flamboyant surgical rearrangement of the intestines.

    BUGS IN THE RUG: Pubic lice.

    HEY DOCS: Alcoholics handcuffed to wheelchairs in big-city medical wards
    who, at the sight of a white coat, bleat out in chorus, "Hey, Doc!"

    BLOWN MIND: Gunshot wound to the head.

    ICING ON THE CAKE: Lethal tumor discovered in the X-rays of a heart attack victim.

    THE GARDEN: Neurosurgical intensive care ward, so called because of the
    "vegetables" found there.

    BOOGIE, GOOBER: A tumor.

    THE DEEP FRY: Cobalt therapy.

    ROASTED GOOBER: A tumor after intensive cobalt treatment.

    HEALTHY GOOBER: A dead patient.

    BURY THE HATCHET: Accidently leaving a surgical instrument inside a patient.

    SILVER GOOSE, SILVER STALLION: Proctoscope.

    SQUASH: Brain.

    GAS PASSER: Anesthesiologist.

    CRISPY CRITTER: A patient with severe burns.
  2. by   FranEMTnurse
    Do ya think you passed the NCLEX Roy? I think you did.
  3. by   Dianne6
    Quote from gwenith
    You all have heard of them and of course we never actually use any of these terms but somehow they are there and everyone knows them.......

    There the "unofficial" abbreviation list

    like

    FLK Funny Looking Kid
    or
    Craft syndrome - Can't Remember A Flippin' Thing
    PFO - clean version - Potted (Drunk) and Fell Over
    AHD - Acute Haloperidol Deficit

    Or the pseudomedical jargon for describing patient peculiarities i.e.

    Mononeuronis Asynapsis

    Acute Pneumoencephalopathy (thanks TeeitupTom)

    Acute Hyponicotaemia (busting for a cigarette)

    Does anyone know anymore??

    Okay can anyone add to this list
    hyponicotaemia is a great one, ill have to share that with my smoking coworkers.
  4. by   fish24hours
    AOOB A** out of bed

    Here's two I made up years ago
    Cephaloendoproctosis Head up the A** and the surgical proceedure to fix it is cephaloendoproctectomy
  5. by   savealife
    Doctor I'd like to ***!
  6. by   auto5man
    "Large Brown Trout",,,GI and ER docs use this one to describe, after viewing a KUB, an impaction someone is going to have to go after (manual disimpaction).
  7. by   phil1968
    For the E.D Nurses: TTR = Tooth to Tatto Ratio
  8. by   Pat_Pat RN
    These are some that one of my docs told me:
    Toxic seman backup
    Sperm retention H/A (or SRI - Sperm retention irritability)
  9. by   Jamesdotter
    Proctalgia--an actual term, but used here to refer to a PIA family member.
  10. by   shazbo
    not too bright=marginal guidance system
  11. by   Ohmygosh
    Anal Glaucoma -- for when you can't see you a** doing that
  12. by   one2one
    Whenever I see someone use WNL I always wonder if it means "within normal limits" or "We never looked"
  13. by   CaseManager1947
    Cerebral proctalgia--head where it doesn't belong

    cerebral flyby -- everything goes right over his/her head

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