Stupid things said by your non-nurse significant other

  1. 48 This thread is started in honor of my darling husband, who told me this morning that he almost woke me early because he had a bowel obstruction.

    I said, "A bowel obstruction? Really? Tell me more about it, honey."

    He said, "Well, I had a hard time moving my bowels this morning. It took a long time and when I was done, I had this huge, hard stool, one of the biggest I've ever seen!"

    As if that was something I'd be hopping right outta bed to see! I told him, "Honey, if you had a bowel obstruction, you'd be headed in for surgery. You'd be in pain. You wouldn't have just had the most humongous stool of your life. You didn't have an obstruction. You didn't even have an impaction, which I would NOT have removed for you, no matter how much I love you. You were constipated. In other words, you were simply full of ****. BTW, lay off the cheese!" The love of my life can eat a half pound of cheese in one sitting and wonders why he gets constipated!

    Of course he's not a nurse!

    Anyone else have stories about stupid, funny, silly things said by their dear non-nurse significant others, friends, family members? Please share! I can't be the only one!
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  3. Visit  Moogie profile page

    About Moogie

    From 'Midwest'; 55 Years Old; Joined Apr '09; Posts: 5,066; Likes: 7,377.

    351 Comments so far...

  4. Visit  exnavygirl-RN profile page
    11
    Too funny. ha ha ha

    I came home from work one day (a Saturday) and found my husband coming out of the bathroom. He told me he had been having diarrhea all day. I asked him what he had been eating and he told me "I was at the neighbors and we had boiled peanuts and beer. That's all I've had all day". My response was "well duhhhh!!!"

    Gotta love 'em!
  5. Visit  CarrieH profile page
    9
    Just tonight, my mother-in-law told me that one of her sisters needs to have the aorta in her neck cleaned out.

    My husband is always coming up with some weird comment or complaint, but I can't think of an example right now. (time for bed) He likes to use my name to give his family advise... ie: "Carrie said you should stop taking baby aspirin because there was blood on the tissue when you blew your nose"... excuse me? I said what now?
    fsh1986, joanna73, MedChica, and 6 others like this.
  6. Visit  HmarieD profile page
    7
    My MIL in resp isolation for suspected TB, tells me "They keep making me do that spit 'em up test"
    vintagemother, Jessy_RN, R.NICU, and 4 others like this.
  7. Visit  exnavygirl-RN profile page
    0
    LOL!!


    Quote from CarrieH
    Just tonight, my mother-in-law told me that one of her sisters needs to have the aorta in her neck cleaned out.

    My husband is always coming up with some weird comment or complaint, but I can't think of an example right now. (time for bed) He likes to use my name to give his family advise... ie: "Carrie said you should stop taking baby aspirin because there was blood on the tissue when you blew your nose"... excuse me? I said what now?
  8. Visit  Moogie profile page
    18
    Another story about my DH.

    A couple of years ago, he got two flu shots in one season. He thought he would be doubly protected against the flu.

    He 'fessed up while he was lying in bed, moaning, c/o muscle aches and fever.
  9. Visit  kerric511 profile page
    1
    Quote from exnavygirl-RN
    Too funny. ha ha ha

    "I was at the neighbors and we had boiled peanuts"

    Gotta love 'em!
    Boiled Peanuts .... That makes me miss home
    *guest* likes this.
  10. Visit  *guest* profile page
    7
    Can someone please clean the aorta out of my neck?
  11. Visit  VivaLasViejas profile page
    11
    "Aorta" know better than that! :chuckle
    Skips, jelly221,RN, joanna73, and 8 others like this.
  12. Visit  exnavygirl-RN profile page
    0
    Where is home? I'm in Mississippi.


    Quote from kerric511
    Boiled Peanuts .... That makes me miss home
  13. Visit  Moogie profile page
    1
    Quote from VivaLasViejas
    "Aorta" know better than that! :chuckle
    GROAN! Great pun!
    sharpeimom likes this.
  14. Visit  caroladybelle profile page
    4
    Said by my sister (who has bipolar disorder and is extremely noncompliant).

    "Well, I found that I can cure Malaria with my chicken soup for 3 days. 'Cause Mike (her DH) had it and I just dosed him up and he's cured!!!!!"

    "You see he got back when he served in Vietnam, and it keeps coming and going - Besides what else could he have possibly had, 'cause he had a fever but no vomiting or diarrhea - it had to be the Malaria."

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    As a side note, she used to tell me that she "adjusted" her Lithium dose so that she could drink "just a little bit."
    jelly221,RN, Miash58, sarahluckyky, and 1 other like this.
  15. Visit  tie_dye00 profile page
    13
    #1 - When my dad had a stress test done a few years ago, Mom called to say everything was ok. She said the only thing of note was that his heart rate was a little slow. I explined that in very active people like my dad, it's common for them to have a slower pulse. Mom says, "They didn't say anything about his pulse, they said his heart rate was slow!!"

    #2 - A nurse I work with had a patient's son tell her that he had taken care of his father's "section 5 decub" all by himself.


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