Share Your Funniest Patient Stories... - page 8

We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2: Here's mine... I keep remembering a particular... Read More

  1. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from LPN EMT MOM
    older people don't know or distinquish lpn from rn he thought that an lpn wasn't a real nurse... i run into RN 's that think LPN's aren't real nurses in the workplace all the time... and yet i have to show them how to do something i have spent years training my bosses... i have a boss now who is a 4 yr rn and administator to a private duty group... she told me that as long as i don't get within 3 feet the fact the patient was MRSA positive wasn't anything to worry about....never mind it was an open trach patient and single cath suctioning...nothing in line at all... i take more offense at her assuming i could suction and still stay further away than my arm reach... let alone bedpan bath dress or do manual percussion... those people offend me... or the RN who kept telling me that my patinet with a heart rate of 214 and bp of 86/54 was just fine he'll perk up once you get some fluids in him... yea he was dead 4 hours after i started his IV of NS for dehydration... she wouldn't know v tach even when i kept going back and saying this worries me...
    Or the ER nurse who told me, "Oh it's probably just swelling from his roadrash." After I reported my assessment findings of a young boy who came in with a fractured nose, wriist, and possible fractured hip. I know the difference between a deformity and just plain edema. Duh! I was an EMT for 18 years.
  2. by   anonymurse
    An instructor story: A pt had cleaned her breakfast plate and my instructor asked how she liked it. She said "It was good, all except for that Kentucky jelly."
  3. by   Inspired_2b
    :chuckle ....

    I was coming down the hall, when I heard a family member of one of our pts calling for a nurse. Mr. X, in the next bed who was put in the geri-chair with a restraint applied was attempting to get out. We found him with one of his legs dangling out from side of the chair, and him pushing off the little table (the restraint) with all his might. He said he needed to go to the bathroom "badly"....we quickly undid the restraint and stood him up. Man, was he in a rush! We had hardly had time to unlock the brakes of the chair ...so as to give him room to move...when he grabbed his nearby walker and started moving fast towards the bathroom. He banged the walker against the bed, the chair and the wall before he found a leeway...meanwhile, one of us is fumbling with the brakes on the chair while the other one is holding up the straps of his hospital pants (which are falling off his thinning waste). We make it to the bathroom in a rush and with some difficulty. When he enters, he looks around suspiciously, touches the sink, and looks at his reflection in the mirror. I'm standing behind him, making sure he doesn't fall. Well, Mr. X... didn't you want to use the bathroom? I ask. He looks down at the toilet seat and says, "well, I suppose since I am in here, I might as well sit down!" OMG - I couldn't hold myself ...I had to step out as I was suddenly hit with a wave of hysterics.
  4. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from NuNurse04
    :chuckle ....

    I was coming down the hall, when I heard a family member of one of our pts calling for a nurse. Mr. X, in the next bed who was put in the geri-chair with a restraint applied was attempting to get out. We found him with one of his legs dangling out from side of the chair, and him pushing off the little table (the restraint) with all his might. He said he needed to go to the bathroom "badly"....we quickly undid the restraint and stood him up. Man, was he in a rush! We had hardly had time to unlock the brakes of the chair ...so as to give him room to move...when he grabbed his nearby walker and started moving fast towards the bathroom. He banged the walker against the bed, the chair and the wall before he found a leeway...meanwhile, one of us is fumbling with the brakes on the chair while the other one is holding up the straps of his hospital pants (which are falling off his thinning waste). We make it to the bathroom in a rush and with some difficulty. When he enters, he looks around suspiciously, touches the sink, and looks at his reflection in the mirror. I'm standing behind him, making sure he doesn't fall. Well, Mr. X... didn't you want to use the bathroom? I ask. He looks down at the toilet seat and says, "well, I suppose since I am in here, I might as well sit down!" OMG - I couldn't hold myself ...I had to step out as I was suddenly hit with a wave of hysterics.
    A true case of Alzheimers!
  5. by   student4ever
    Our ER is directly accross from our state's most notorious party university. Of course, that leads to lots and lots of silly patients, most with ETOH, n/v, etc. All of which are usually accompanied by about 20 hysterical friends who have just about as much ETOH on board as the pt! One night tho (on graveyard, what else) I had a young hispanic student from this university arrive by EMS, very altered. EMS had found him laying in the road near a block party and hauled him in. He was somewhat alert and talking (at the top of his lungs for the whole ER to hear) but for every question we asked he would give a partial answer and then get stuck on that answer for 5 minutes. It was slightly frustrating, because he was speaking a mixture of English and Spanish. Since I'm bilingual, I was trying to help the registration clerk get at least a first and last name since the university's address book lists addresses and phone numbers for all their students, and she could get basic info with just his first and last name. I had asked him repeatedly in both Spanish and English, what his last name was, and all he would say was "Jose." Finally, I looked him right in his glassy eyes, and said, "Jose, if you don't tell me your last name, we're going to have to call the university cops, they'll find out who you are, and then they'll probably arrest you for causing us problems." That brought him out of his stupor long enought to shout loud enough that the whole ER and probably radiology next door to hear "My name is Jose Cuervo you dumb*** (*&%$*&^!!!!!! The registration clerk and I could barely keep from doubling over laughing, because he still had his tequila bottle in his hand - yep, you guessed it, Jose Cuervo! 6 hours later when he woke up, he didn't remember any of it... and strangely enough, his real name wasn't really Jose - or Cuervo!
    Last edit by student4ever on May 10, '05
  6. by   sbergetlvn
    This just happened a few minutes ago in the dining room of our LTC facility.

    LVN comes to the table and says "Mrs XXXX can i take your blood pressure?"

    Very elderly resident replies in a quavery panic stricken voice "Please don't take it away!!!!"

    LVN reassures resident that she just wants to "look at" her BP, and proceeds to obtain a reading.

    a few minutes later same resident lets out a wailing cry "Please bring it back!!! I need it!!!"

    Took all of us a minute or two to figure out what she was wanting "brought back"
  7. by   LeahJet
    When I first became a nurse, I worked on a med/surg floor night shift. And as most night shifters, I became used to seeing in the dark. At about 5:30am, I was hunched down at the foot of the bed emptying a foley. Obviously hearing the sound of the urine flowing and seeing me hunched down, my sweet little lady patient with dementia peered down at me and said "Honey, I think they have a bathroom in here somewhere".
  8. by   ccadlett
    Speaking Of Funny Stories; I Worked On A Behaviorial Medicine Unit At A Large Public Hospital. In Short We Had A Lot Of 5150's That Had To Be Cleared To Go To A Psych Unit. My Patient Was A Female About 75 Y/o. I Approached The Pt, Introduced Myself And Told Her That I Had Some Meds To Give Her. She Replied "okay, But First I Have To Ask Jesus". I Replied "okay, No Problem (we Often Encounter Religion Pts.) Go Right Ahead." At This Point The Patient Pulled Down The Cover, Lifted Up Her Gown And Put Her Face Between Her Legs And Engaged In Conversation. I Almost Hit The Floor So To Keep From Laughing I Left The Room Promptly. I Went Out To The Nurse's Station And Told The Staff "now, I Know What's Happening To This World And Why There Are So Many Lost Souls, They're All Looking For Jesus In The Wrong Place."
  9. by   cursenurse
    Quote from ccadlett
    Speaking Of Funny Stories; I Worked On A Behaviorial Medicine Unit At A Large Public Hospital. In Short We Had A Lot Of 5150's That Had To Be Cleared To Go To A Psych Unit. My Patient Was A Female About 75 Y/o. I Approached The Pt, Introduced Myself And Told Her That I Had Some Meds To Give Her. She Replied "okay, But First I Have To Ask Jesus". I Replied "okay, No Problem (we Often Encounter Religion Pts.) Go Right Ahead." At This Point The Patient Pulled Down The Cover, Lifted Up Her Gown And Put Her Face Between Her Legs And Engaged In Conversation. I Almost Hit The Floor So To Keep From Laughing I Left The Room Promptly. I Went Out To The Nurse's Station And Told The Staff "now, I Know What's Happening To This World And Why There Are So Many Lost Souls, They're All Looking For Jesus In The Wrong Place."

    :chuckle oh, my goodness, that is so freakin' hilarious!!
  10. by   lucianurse
    A middle aged lady walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor I have lots of problems, from the top of my head to the sole of my feet." The doctor replied, "Tell me those in between."
  11. by   PumpkinsMami
    I was the intake nurse at a hopice that I used to work for. We had a pt to be admitted with Lung CA & Brain Mets that lived quite a distance from where our office was. I mapped the address for our admit nurse & sent her on her way.

    She thought she was lost, because she had traveled quite a distance and hadn't found where she needed to turn. She called the pts home and asked for the pt's son to make sure she was headed in the right direction. He had answered the phone and gave her a new set of directions. Again, she called back because she felt even more lost and got yet another set of directions. Finally, after the 3rd call, she realized that the first two times she was actually speaking to the pt w/brain mets who had her going in circles for at least an hour.

    No one tells the story as well as she does!! It was hysterical! :roll
  12. by   TnValCNA
    Had a sweet ederly lady as a patient recently admitted the
    other night to med/surg, (her room is nearby the nurses station)
    and as I was doing vitals on her, she had the tv tuned to CNN
    news channel watching coverage of the Michael Jackson case.
    The patient made a funny comment about Michael and his
    umbrella-toting man entering the courthouse to which I
    laughed. She turned off the tv when I finished with her and
    told me good night.

    About an hour later her call light goes on and there's a pitiful
    loud moaning coming from her room. I went and asked, "What's
    wrong?" She had a wild-eyed look on her face and said, "Honey,
    that thing's face gave me a nightmare, HE'S SCARY!"
    I asked, "Who's face?"
    The poor dear was actually trembling as she said, "Michael
    Jackson's face, ohh that scary face, promise me you'll
    leave my door open and leave the light on, PLEASE, I'm scared!!"
    I calmed her down and did as she asked.

    Back at the nurses station an rn asked me, "Why is that door now
    open and the lights on low?" When I explained to her, we both had
    to stifle ourselves.
  13. by   KJRN79
    Quote from LeahJet
    When I first became a nurse, I worked on a med/surg floor night shift. And as most night shifters, I became used to seeing in the dark. At about 5:30am, I was hunched down at the foot of the bed emptying a foley. Obviously hearing the sound of the urine flowing and seeing me hunched down, my sweet little lady patient with dementia peered down at me and said "Honey, I think they have a bathroom in here somewhere".

    OMG! :chuckle :roll

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