Share Your Funniest Patient Stories... - page 10

We all have lots of stories to tell. I thought it would be fun if we shared a few of our funniest patient stories with each other. :lol2: Here's mine... I keep remembering a particular... Read More

  1. by   lucianurse
    At the general hospital where I once worked, there was a ward sister(supervisor) who was as lazy as jack **** and seemed always to be in a daze. One day when the surgeon was making rounds, he questioned her about a patient receiving an enema which he had ordered the day before. She replied, " yes doctor, I gave it to him orally." The doctor looked at her, shaked his head and said, "You need to be in the Guinness Book of World Records."
  2. by   lucianurse
    Today,one of the clients who came to see the doctor was told by the assistant who checked her pressure that the reading was 200/100. Her reply was, oh! is it still 300? ( 200 +100=300). I burst into peals of laughter when I heard this.
  3. by   Sue7573
    What does the red stop sign in top right corner reading warned post mean?
  4. by   Peachy720
    Quote from Sue7573
    What does the red stop sign in top right corner reading warned post mean?
    contains a possibly offensive word, i think.
  5. by   SwinkerDoodleRN
    i might be wrong but when you tied juan down to the sink and when you tied him to the hand rails isnt that considered a restraint. even side rails on a hospital bed are considered a restraint in the nursing home i work in. if they are not ordered by a doctor, the side rails are not to go up. :uhoh21:



    Quote from ruby vee
    remember geriatric chairs? we used to posey our wanderers into a geri chair for the day. only ours didn't have brakes, and one old guy named juan used to be able to push himself around the unit with his tippy toes. backward. we'd put him out by the nurse's station on busy days, and everyone would sort of keep an eye on him -- even the house staff who all knew him well.

    one particularly busy day, there were two codes going on at once and everyone was involved with one or the other of them. juan scooted himself off the unit in his geri chair, and was found at the doorway to the firestairs trying to get the door open. the nursing supervisor brought him back. the next time, a patient's family member went to get the unit secretary, who pulled an na out of a code to bring juan back. the third time, a harvard medical student encountered the nice old man posey'd into a geri chair trying to open the door to the stairs. i'm sure he thought he was being helpful when he opened the door for the juan and held it for him.

    the next day when i came back to work, juan was poseyd in a geri chair wearing a cast over his entire torso and both shoulders. the toes still worked fine, though. i was determined not to have a repeat accident on my shift, so the na and i poseyed juan into the chair, and tied the chair to the sink in his room. the first sign that that may not have been a wise choice was when there was a loud crash followed by the sounds of gushing water and a flood pouring out of juan's room. by the time i got there, juan was propelling himself backward out of his room, dragging the sink. the housekeepers were not amused. nor were the plumbers!

    after that, we tied the chair to the handrail in the halls -- you know -- the ones patients are supposed to hang on to as they ambulate in the halls. another poor decision. the rail wasn't attached to anything but dry wall . . . and following another loud crash (and some excited shouting) we found juan propelling himself down the hall dragging the railing and a large chunk of dry wall. the carpenters were not amused. nor was the couple in the room on the other side of the dry wall . . . they were engaging in some long-postponed marital relations when juan's removing a chunk of drywall exposed them to the entire unit!

    sadly, juan's trip down the stairs backward ultimately caused his demise. he got a pressure sore under his cast, became septic, went into septic shock and arrested. we couldn't saw him out of the cast fast enough to start cpr in a timely fashion . . .
  6. by   SwinkerDoodleRN
    I work in a nursing home and most everyone has dementia. There are about 3 residents that dont. One time I asked a lady who was sitting in her wheelchair what she was up to. She replied "I am thinking about the best way to get out of here" I thought she meant getting out of the facility, but I went ahead and asked her "Well, what are you going to do?" She got teary eyed and replied, "Well, I dont think that life boat is going to save all of us, but you need to save all of these people because the ship we are on right now is going down!" She stopped and then replied, "Save yourself. I'll wait for you in the water!" It was so sad that she actually thought it was happening, but funny when I thought about it later that night.

    We have another lady that is deaf and pretty much blinde. She sits in her wheelchair in front of the nurses station and reaches out to touch whatever is in front of her. The other day, it was sort of a slow day and we had this lady sitting next to the lady that I mentioned in the first paragraph. The blind lady reached out and touched her face and was feeling of her to make sure she knew what was in front of her. The funny part is that this ladys hand just kept going further and further south on the other lady! She found the ladys boobs and began to prod them and say "WOW. This must be a lady." Before she got any further than the belly I had to rush over there and speak in her good ear "You are touching that lady in the crotch and thats not very nice. She is about to get upset with you. So, you need to stop, please M'am." SHe quickly sat back in her wheelchair and said "OO MY. IM SORRY." My charge nurse was literally in the floor rolling.
  7. by   Ruby Vee
    Quote from noseinabooknurse
    i might be wrong but when you tied juan down to the sink and when you tied him to the hand rails isnt that considered a restraint. even side rails on a hospital bed are considered a restraint in the nursing home i work in. if they are not ordered by a doctor, the side rails are not to go up. :uhoh21:
    the point of this thead is to tell your funniest patient stories, not to try to correct each other! i'm sorry you're missing the point. (and by the way . . . this happened nearly 30 years ago -- a much different climate for restraints!) if you don't learn to laugh, you won't last long.
  8. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from lucianurse
    At the general hospital where I once worked, there was a ward sister(supervisor) who was as lazy as jack **** and seemed always to be in a daze. One day when the surgeon was making rounds, he questioned her about a patient receiving an enema which he had ordered the day before. She replied, " yes doctor, I gave it to him orally." The doctor looked at her, shaked his head and said, "You need to be in the Guinness Book of World Records."
    Sounds like a co-worker I had several years ago. She emptied a full bedpan out the bathroom window as the DON was walking toward the main entrance. I would NOT have wanted to be in her shoes that day.
  9. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from lucianurse
    Today,one of the clients who came to see the doctor was told by the assistant who checked her pressure that the reading was 200/100. Her reply was, oh! is it still 300? ( 200 +100=300). I burst into peals of laughter when I heard this.
    Wonder where the assistant went to school.
  10. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from noseinabooknurse
    [font=Comic Sans MS]I work in a nursing home and most everyone has dementia. There are about 3 residents that dont. One time I asked a lady who was sitting in her wheelchair what she was up to. She replied "I am thinking about the best way to get out of here" I thought she meant getting out of the facility, but I went ahead and asked her "Well, what are you going to do?" She got teary eyed and replied, "Well, I dont think that life boat is going to save all of us, but you need to save all of these people because the ship we are on right now is going down!" She stopped and then replied, "Save yourself. I'll wait for you in the water!" It was so sad that she actually thought it was happening, but funny when I thought about it later that night.

    We have another lady that is deaf and pretty much blinde. She sits in her wheelchair in front of the nurses station and reaches out to touch whatever is in front of her. The other day, it was sort of a slow day and we had this lady sitting next to the lady that I mentioned in the first paragraph. The blind lady reached out and touched her face and was feeling of her to make sure she knew what was in front of her. The funny part is that this ladys hand just kept going further and further south on the other lady! She found the ladys boobs and began to prod them and say "WOW. This must be a lady." Before she got any further than the belly I had to rush over there and speak in her good ear "You are touching that lady in the crotch and thats not very nice. She is about to get upset with you. So, you need to stop, please M'am." SHe quickly sat back in her wheelchair and said "OO MY. IM SORRY." My charge nurse was literally in the floor rolling.
    I would have been too.
  11. by   lucianurse
    Quote from Franemtnurse
    Wonder where the assistant went to school.

    The reply did not come from the assistant, it came from the client.
  12. by   new_mom2005
    Quote from Stephanie in FL
    Another story from when I worked med-surg. One of my male patients called the nursing station and asked for me to come to his room. The nurse who answered the call light asked if I needed to bring anything (juice, medication, water, etc-to save an additional trip). The patient replied "I have what she needs right here! He was referring to a tube of medication that was in his room, but that is not how the other nurses interpreted his comment!

    Stephanie RN CDE
    Ohhh How funny... i have tears in my eyes... Thanks for sharing that one
  13. by   RN_PhD2B
    I live in a small rural town in Mississippi. Early one morning, while working the E/R, a young male accompanied by his girlfriend presented to the E/R. They both seemed terribly embarassed and were extremely hesitant to speak with any of the nurses. They demanded to speak only to the physician on call. We put them in a room to see the doc. OMG!!!

    It turns out that the guy had a dildo stuck in his rectum!!!! (King Chocolate, or something like that)and it was still vibrating!!!! The E/R doc was unable to remove it but did manage to turn it off. Pt had to go to surgery for removal...the path report was hilarious!

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