So the new English Dr. is getting the welcome tour of a Scottish hospital, and the final ward they visit is full of patients with no sign of any illness. He approaches the first patient, who starts off:
"Wee, sleekit, cowerin' timorous beastie, Oh, what a panic's in thy breastie, Wi' bickerin' brattle! I would be laithe tae rin an chase ye, wi' murderin pattle!" Startled, he steps back, and approaches the next patient, who immediately says:
"Oh, would oor lord the giftie gi'e us, tae see oorsel's as ither's see us!" Confused now, he turns to a third patient, who recites;
"My love is like a red, red rose, that's newly sprung in June, my love is like a melody, that's sweetly played in tune."
In the corner, another is declaiming;
"Fair fa' yer honest, sonsie face, great chieftain o' the pudden' race!"
Turning back to his colleague, the new Dr. asks why they left the psychiatric ward till last, to be greeted with;
"This isn't psychiatry! This is the Serious BURNS Unit!"