Lawn Socks, Boobies, and Mirages

  1. Okay, I'm a little hard of hearing. But Belinda's a low talker.

    We're going into Target. I ask, "What are we here for?"
    I thought I heard Belinda say "A lawn sock".
    "Why do we need a lawn sock?" I ask.
    "AN ALARM CLOCK!" Belinda replies in a normal volume.
    "Oh yeah" I say.
    While pushing the cart down the isle by the DVD's, Belinda tells me "My kids are boobies".
    "Your kids are boobies?" I ask.
    "HERE ARE THE MOVIES!" she says in a normal voice.

    We go to look at the alarm clocks. Belinda tells me of an artist that stuck a bunch of clocks together to make a "mirage".
    "I think the word you're looking for is collage", I corrected her.
    "No, I think it was a mirage", she says.
    "Oh", I replied, "It wasn't really there."

    lawn-socks-boobies-
    Last edit by Davey Do on Jan 22
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    About Davey Do, ADN, ASN, CNA, LPN, RN, EMT-B, EMT-I Guide

    Joined: Jun '10; Posts: 9,333; Likes: 36,219

    20 Comments

  3. by   AJJKRN
    Are you sure you're not just exhibiting the male selective hearing gene Davey? ;-)
  4. by   OldDude
    She's right ya know. I'll bet your next words were "yes ma'am," cuz you are a bright boy.
  5. by   SpankedInPittsburgh
    Selective hearing has saved the species on many occassions
  6. by   kbrn2002
    Quote from Davey Do
    Okay, I'm a little hard of hearing. But Belinda's a low talker.

    We're going into Target. I ask, "What are we here for?"
    I thought I heard Belinda say "A lawn sock".
    "Why do we need a lawn sock?" I ask.
    "AN ALARM CLOCK!" Belinda replies in a normal volume.
    "Oh yeah" I say.
    While pushing the cart down the isle by the DVD's, Belinda tells me "My kids are boobies".
    "Your kids are boobies?" I ask.
    "HERE ARE THE MOVIES!" she says in a normal voice.

    We go to look at the alarm clocks. Belinda tells me of an artist that stuck a bunch of clocks together to make a "mirage".
    "I think the word you're looking for is collage", I correct her.
    "No, I think it was a mirage", she says.
    "Oh", I replied, "It wasn't really there."
    well, maybe you weren't hearing things. Doesn't everybody need a lawn sock? And while I've never met your children and I'm sure they are lovely people, maybe your beautiful wife does think they are boobies. And well, frankly I really wouldn't be too surprised if you are seeing things.
  7. by   Davey Do
    Quote from AJJKRN
    Are you sure you're not just exhibiting the male selective hearing gene Davey? ;-)
    My name is not Gene Davey. Just "Davey", thank you very much AJJKRN.

    Now, what is it you want me to mail?
  8. by   Davey Do
    Quote from OldDude
    She's right ya know.
    I understand, Old Dude.

    But with that particular game, it doesn't matter if you're right or left handed.

    uno-jpg
  9. by   Davey Do
    Quote from SpankedInPittsburgh
    Selective hearing has saved the species on many occassions

    lective-jpg
    I tried looking it up, Spanked. There's no such word as lective, let alone lective hearing.

    That's odd, too, because it must be pretty powerful stuff, to have saved an entire species.
    Last edit by Davey Do on Jan 8 : Reason: When did last eat?
  10. by   Davey Do
    Quote from kbrn2002
    well, maybe you weren't hearing things. Doesn't everybody need a lawn sock?
    YEAH!

    And if you ask for them, kbrn, they don't direct you to the Lawn & Underwear Section- they'll just direct you to where they keep the clocks!

    How odd is that?
  11. by   Farawyn
    You don't hear me? Or you don't listen?
  12. by   Davey Do
    Quote from Farawyn
    You don't hear me? Or you don't listen?
    knockin-jpg
  13. by   SpankedInPittsburgh
    Usually we hear. The health of the relationship and the reasonableness of the request are in direct proportion to how much is listened to. After listening a response may or may not occur depending on the same two conditions above. Finally, affirmative action will only happen once all these barriers have been overcome and the Steelers aren't on TV.
  14. by   Davey Do
    Quote from SpankedInPittsburgh
    barriers have been overcome and the Steelers aren't on TV.
    Yeah- I was just reading under the National Traffic and Motor Vehicle Safety Act that the use of traffic barriers have allowed a reduction in the rate of death attributable to motor vehicle crashes in the United States!

    We don't want the Steelers to jeopardize their safety.

    Especially on TV!

    steelers-jpg

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