God's Diet Plan

  1. > > God's Diet Plan
    > >
    > > And God populated the earth with broccoli and
    > > cauliflower and spinach and green and yellow
    > > vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live
    > > long and healthy lives.
    > >
    > > And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought
    > > forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said
    > > to Man, "You want fries with that?" And Man said,
    > > "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.
    > >
    > > And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman
    > > might keep her figure that man found so fair.
    > >
    > > And Satan froze the yogurt, and he brought forth
    > > chocolate, nuts and brightly colored sprinkle candy to
    > > put on the yogurt. And woman gained pounds.
    > >
    > > And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad." And
    > > Satan brought forth creamy dressings, bacon bits, and
    > > shredded cheese. And there was ice cream for dessert.
    > > And woman gained pounds.
    > >
    > > And God said, "I have sent you heart healthy
    > > vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
    > > And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak from
    > > Cracker Barrel so big it needed its own platter and
    > > Man gained pounds, and his bad cholesterol went
    > > through the roof.
    > >
    > > And God brought forth running shoes, and Man resolved
    > > to lose those extra pounds. And Satan brought forth
    > > cable TV with remote control so Man would not have
    > > to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.
    > > And Man gained pounds.
    > >
    > > And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil."
    > > And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable
    > > naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
    > > And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced
    > > the starchy center into chips and deep fat fried them.
    > > And he created sour cream dip also. And Man clutched
    > > his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled
    > > in cholesterol. And Satan saw it and said, "It is
    > > good." And Man went into
    > > cardiac arrest.
    > >
    > > And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
    > >
    > > And Satan created HMO's...
    •  
  2. 8 Comments

  3. by   Mkue
    Thanks Leslie:kiss , really enjoyed that !
  4. by   ?burntout
    :chuckle
  5. by   Glad2behere
    Tis true, Tis true....all Adam and Eve's fault, they started it:chuckle
  6. by   vaughanmk
    So it really is all Satan's fault after all and not my lack of self control. It's alway nice being able to point the finger at someone else. j/k
  7. by   BrandieRNq
    So that's why I have a few (I meant many!) extra pounds to lose. Thank goodness it isn't my fault!!!
  8. by   J-RN student
    I loved it! :roll :chuckle :roll
  9. by   SingingNurse2
    You left out how God created the apple and Satan took it to the State Fair and covered it in candy and caramel! (My personal favorite sin)
  10. by   maggie7
    :roll

close