Funny things you have said but wish you didn't - page 7

A few years ago, I was on the phone with a person from the local lumber company. having in mind to ask if they had any tar paper. But instead, toilet paper slipped out. That remark started the... Read More

  1. by   redraccoon
    While a newbie on the job I was offered some plant clippings from one of my co-workers. Being somewhat of a poor green thumb I declined saying "No thanks, I kill living things." oh, what a think for a nurse to say! lol :chuckle She really cracked up at that and I spent the day getting teased.
  2. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from redraccoon
    While a newbie on the job I was offered some plant clippings from one of my co-workers. Being somewhat of a poor green thumb I declined saying "No thanks, I kill living things." oh, what a think for a nurse to say! lol :chuckle She really cracked up at that and I spent the day getting teased.
    I bet you did.
  3. by   paintwoman
    My most embarassing moment came when I went into a room to check on the prep that my aide was giving to a pre op patient. He was in for Ing. Hernia repair and that was back in the days when we shaved patients. Anyway she had not draped his private parts, and I walked in and the hernia was protruding. As I noted the hernia I stupidly made the comment, My Gawd Burt, that is a big one." Of course, he started laughing, I turned bright red and walked quickly out of the room.
  4. by   jannecdote
    Quote from rn711
    Many moons ago I worked at a restaurant called the "Catfish Shack". During orientation, the hostesses had to practice over the mike "Good afternoon, welcome to the Catfish Shack". After many practices, it was my turn for the mike where I calmly said "Good afternoon, Welcome to the CATSHIT FACK".


    It's been over twenty years, and I still have to concentrate really hard and speak really slow to say it correctly.
    Had tears rolling down my cheeks after laughing at this one.
  5. by   nursebedlam
    just a little prick with a needle,,, hummm
  6. by   Victoriakem
    Quote from RNtoJD
    I was working in the ER and this man was brought in --post coital cardiac arrest. He was probably about 80 yrs old. Well, unfortunately we were unable to resucitate him. About 2 hours after he was pronounced, the local HOMICIDE team came in and demanded a sperm sample. I couldn't resist the chance to be a wisea** and said, "Good luck. He's been dead for 2 hours. If you can get one then you are in the wrong profession."
    "I thought he was coming but he was really going....."
  7. by   Victoriakem
    Quote from Marie_LPN
    Offered a doctor some Reese's Penis instead of Reese's Pieces one time. He said "i don't know who Reese is, but i doubt he's willing to give that away. Besides, i have one of my own". Words do not express embarrassment of that level.
    I used to work in a restaurant & we called the pina colada's "penis collasus"
    yuk yuk:chuckle
  8. by   CHIRN
    Well, a couple of days ago some family members asked me why their mother wasn't responding as well as she had earlier (I had given her some Morphine for pain)...I replied...."Well...she's very sleazy...um...sleepy". Luckily, they didn't catch it, but my fellow nurses did....haven't heard the last of it yet.
  9. by   tylerlvn
    I used to work in manufacturing and we had a table grinder that was off balance and not working correctly because a screw had vibrated out. My supervisor was giving me alot of grief - snapping at me to get it fixed right now! So, I called maintance and said " I need a screw really bad!" :imbar
  10. by   talaxandra
    Some of these are hilarious!
    One morning after night duty (brain and mouth not entirely engaged) a couple of us went out for breakfast. I ordered a hot chocolate and meant to say "no marshmallow," but I'd been looking at the eggs and said "no mushroom".
    The waiter said "Are you sure?"
    When he brought out my drink there was a sliced mushroom on the saucer. He yelled over to the kitchen "I said no mushroom! No mushroom!" and profusely apologised. It's hard to drink hot chocolate when you keep cracking up - big tip!
  11. by   santhony44
    I can't say I regretted this one, but it was definitely a case of my mouth operating ahead of my brain.

    Many years ago I worked in a burn unit that was having MRSA problems. The infection control nurse cultured everyone and guess who was the culprit? One of the residents. Anyway, along with the MRSA we had a run of patients who didn't do well for a variety of reasons. This resident was sort of a smart *** and not one of my favorites. We also had a nurse who was one of those who was defnitely out to get her MD. She was a cute girl but related to most of the docs, who were mostly male, with being flirtatious, etc etc, just annoyed me no end.

    I was in the nurses' lounge one day when this resident and this nurse came in. They were carrying on a conversation- she was complimenting him on his shirt, a chamois cloth thing as I recall. She said "that looks like a hunting shirt, do you like to hunt?" He started to say "No, I don't like going out in the woods and killing things...." and before he could go any farther, my mouth opened and out came:"No, he prefers doing it in the comfort and safety of the hospital!" I promise, it just bypassed my filtering mechanism altogether, I knew I was thinking it the same time they did! They both just stared at me with their mouths hanging open.

    One of the funniest I ever heard, I was not guilty of. It was in church, of all places. We had a guy from the Gideons in one Sunday and he was talking about their organization and what they do. He started to say "these little cities" but what came out was "these little titties..." He turned very red and looked like he wanted to sink into the floor. I don't think anyone heard another word he said, we were all too busy trying not to laugh! This was several years ago but I still laugh when I think about it. Poor man. I would've moved to Timbuktu.
  12. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from rn711
    Many moons ago I worked at a restaurant called the "Catfish Shack". During orientation, the hostesses had to practice over the mike "Good afternoon, welcome to the Catfish Shack". After many practices, it was my turn for the mike where I calmly said "Good afternoon, Welcome to the CATSHIT FACK".


    It's been over twenty years, and I still have to concentrate really hard and speak really slow to say it correctly.
    I love this!!!!
  13. by   Lenap
    This happened little over a year ago. 1 day after I was send home with my newborn I had difficulty breastfeeding my baby, so I paged my OB/GYN . Shortly I received a call back displayed as "U of P" on my caller id. I picked up the phone assuming this was my doctor calling from the hospital. The lady on the phone said she received my message and was asking how she can help me. I told her "I am having firmness in my breasts and my baby refusing to breastfeed. What should I do?" After a long pause, she said "I don't know anything about that!"
    Turns out she was calling from University of Phoenix online program, because I send her an email few days before that asking about their distance learning program. How embarrassing!!!!!!!

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