Funny things you have said but wish you didn't - page 10

A few years ago, I was on the phone with a person from the local lumber company. having in mind to ask if they had any tar paper. But instead, toilet paper slipped out. That remark started the... Read More

  1. by   nuttyRN
    I work nights - MD comes in Monday morn, all docs and nurses are sitting around for report. He tells me daughter is prego and getting married. Daughter used to be a friend of mine, not anymore; so I say loudly enough for everyone to hear"is the baby his (fiances)?", just knowing that daughter is, can we say promiscuous. He turns red and says "Dear, Ijust hope so." Icould have about stuck my foot in my mouth right then and there!!!
  2. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from nuttyRN
    I work nights - MD comes in Monday morn, all docs and nurses are sitting around for report. He tells me daughter is prego and getting married. Daughter used to be a friend of mine, not anymore; so I say loudly enough for everyone to hear"is the baby his (fiances)?", just knowing that daughter is, can we say promiscuous. He turns red and says "Dear, Ijust hope so." Icould have about stuck my foot in my mouth right then and there!!!
    I bet.
  3. by   chemoqueen
    Thanks for all the laughs! I needed it after a tough day
  4. by   NeuroICURN
    Ok....so this isn't one that I said, but was told to me by one of the docs (We'll call him Joe) at work yesterday.....I swear I laughed so hard I almost peed myself! It was too good not to share!


    Joe was involved in the care of a trauma patient that had come into the ER. Well, apparently they were about to do a rectal exam. The resident (not the same doc as the one telling the story) that was going to do it meant to say "You're gonna feel some pressure in your rectum"..........instead it came out "You're gonna feel my penis in your rectum". :imbar :roll

    Apparently everyone heard it and they were laughing hysterically.....he was so embarassed, he just turned around and walked out of the room!
  5. by   pghfoxfan
    Quote from NeuroICURN
    Ok....so this isn't one that I said, but was told to me by one of the docs (We'll call him Joe) at work yesterday.....I swear I laughed so hard I almost peed myself! It was too good not to share!


    Joe was involved in the care of a trauma patient that had come into the ER. Well, apparently they were about to do a rectal exam. The resident (not the same doc as the one telling the story) that was going to do it meant to say "You're gonna feel some pressure in your rectum"..........instead it came out "You're gonna feel my penis in your rectum". :imbar :roll

    Apparently everyone heard it and they were laughing hysterically.....he was so embarassed, he just turned around and walked out of the room!
    "there's always time for lubricant"
  6. by   sandypinktruck
    I hope he used surgilube, and standard precautions!!!!
  7. by   kar212
    Quote from NeuroICURN
    Ok....so this isn't one that I said, but was told to me by one of the docs (We'll call him Joe) at work yesterday.....I swear I laughed so hard I almost peed myself! It was too good not to share!


    Joe was involved in the care of a trauma patient that had come into the ER. Well, apparently they were about to do a rectal exam. The resident (not the same doc as the one telling the story) that was going to do it meant to say "You're gonna feel some pressure in your rectum"..........instead it came out "You're gonna feel my penis in your rectum". :imbar :roll

    Apparently everyone heard it and they were laughing hysterically.....he was so embarassed, he just turned around and walked out of the room!
    Possible Freudian slip???
  8. by   virmm1
    When I worked in a family practice office , several of the male pts were being given Viagra. Doc was giving this pt Viagra for the first time and told him not to take too many , it would blow his head off. Of course he was talking about the vaso constricting properties of the drug.
    When I was very young (wet behind the ears) I worked in a pharmacy before becoming a nurse. Some OTC meds were kept behind the counter and had to be asked for by the customers. One day this gent came in asking for "Detain". Not knowing what it was I asked him what it was used for, turns out it is penis desentizer. Broke me from asking the whats it for question.

    Then there was the time a gentleman came in asking for condoms. I pointed to the display beside the counter and continued to wait on customers. Finally, I see him looking at me with a very puzzled look on his face. When I looked over at him he said "these? holding up a large box of multicolored fiesta condoms "for this?' he said as he held up a cake.
  9. by   virmm1
    When I worked in a family practice office , several of the male pts were being given Viagra. Doc was giving this pt Viagra for the first time and told him not to take too many , it would blow his head off. Of course he was talking about the vaso constricting properties of the drug.
    When I was very young (wet behind the ears) I worked in a pharmacy before becoming a nurse. Some OTC meds were kept behind the counter and had to be asked for by the customers. One day this gent came in asking for "Detain". Not knowing what it was I asked him what it was used for, turns out it is penis desentizer. Broke me from asking the whats it for question.

    Then there was the time a gentleman came in asking for condoms. I pointed to the display beside the counter and continued to wait on customers. Finally, I see him looking at me with a very puzzled look on his face. When I looked over at him he said "these? holding up a large box of multicolored fiesta condoms "for this?' he said as he held up a cake.
  10. by   FranEMTnurse
    Quote from NeuroICURN
    Ok....so this isn't one that I said, but was told to me by one of the docs (We'll call him Joe) at work yesterday.....I swear I laughed so hard I almost peed myself! It was too good not to share!


    Joe was involved in the care of a trauma patient that had come into the ER. Well, apparently they were about to do a rectal exam. The resident (not the same doc as the one telling the story) that was going to do it meant to say "You're gonna feel some pressure in your rectum"..........instead it came out "You're gonna feel my penis in your rectum". :imbar :roll

    Apparently everyone heard it and they were laughing hysterically.....he was so embarassed, he just turned around and walked out of the room!
    Bwaaaaa, hahahahaha! Poor guy will probably never live that one down.
  11. by   EarthAngel
    Working in LTC doesnt offer too many interesting slip-ups, but recently we had a woman admitted with "extreme psychosis".

    Reading through her chart to learn more about her, I came across the physician report of his initial examination.

    Chief concern: "This is bullsh*t."
  12. by   kmrmom42
    This one happened to a friend of mine:
    She was encouraged a laboring hispanic woman to push by stating...loudly and clearly Puta! Puta! Puta!

    The doctor let this go on for a little while but eventually she looked up and calmly stated "Kathy, I think the patient might push more effectively if you stop calling her a WHORE!"

    Puta means whore or prostitute. Puja means push!!!

    She has never lived this one down!
  13. by   NeuroICURN
    Quote from kmrmom42
    This one happened to a friend of mine:
    She was encouraged a laboring hispanic woman to push by stating...loudly and clearly Puta! Puta! Puta!

    The doctor let this go on for a little while but eventually she looked up and calmly stated "Kathy, I think the patient might push more effectively if you stop calling her a WHORE!"

    Puta means whore or prostitute. Puja means push!!!

    She has never lived this one down!
    LMAO!!! That is too funny! :roll

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