Funny things patients say ! - page 3

by TAM

While working in the emergency room I was taking care of a 90 year old lady who came in by wheelchair from a local rest home. Her complaint was right leg swelling and we found an obvious deformity of the femur but she denied any... Read More


  1. 10
    Two recent funnies. I was taking care of a 5 yr old. I work 7p-7a and after I took the midnight vitals he looked up to me and admonished me for being up so late and that I was going to get in trouble if I didn't get to bed soon. No amount of explaining convinced him otherwise.
    The second story took place this last Christmas. I was taking care of a charming lol. She was very quite, bedridden, and never put on her call light. Early in the am her call light went off. I rushed in to see want she need (she spoke with a very thick Russian accent and you could not understand her over the speaker). Vhat time es it? she said with a twinkle in her eye. About 1:30 in the morning I replied. Vell, she said Kreesmas is over, bak to vork. I just had to laugh.
  2. 6
    Working in L/D, I had a pt march up to the desk one morning, dressed as cute as could be, hair and makeup perfect, and announce, "its my due date. Here I am!" (needless to say, NO criteria for admission!)

    Gotta love those poor girls in labor who can't wait to get their 'epidermals' to help ease the pain of their 'contraptions'...

    Oh, yeah! When asked where their pain is, they'll tell you its in their 'eucharist'...
    Last edit by swyswy on Jul 2, '01
  3. 26
    I just finished my second semester of clinicals. I was working with a little girl, im not sure of her age, but she was in preschool. I came in and told her mom and her that I needed to draw a little blood for a test. The little girl handed me a red crayon and said "I'll draw blood too", and proceeded to "draw blood" on a piece of white paper.
    maelstrom143, JeanettePNP, lehcareaj, and 23 others like this.
  4. 1
    This just happened to me tonite, I walk ino a room and introduce myself, Hi I'm Lt. ______, call me Jennifer, I'll be your nurse tonite..
    Instead of saying hello, she said Thank you

    I'm not sure what that's about
    maelstrom143 likes this.
  5. 9
    While working in LTC I had a little lady with dementia who used to think that practically everyone she saw was one of her family members. She was also quite hard of hearing. One day as she sat in the hallway a CNA wheeled an elderly gentleman past us and she asked me "Is that Henry?" (her long deceased husband). I said "No, that's Earl!" She gave me a very strange look and then when another staff member walked by she pointed at me and said to her "She says my husband's a girl!"
  6. 2
    This is for Brandy--You may already know this--that is a really good example of "concrete thinking". (see Piaget)
    My 17 y/o son is an ex-premie who has a number of physical and intellectual challenges: he is the world's champion concrete thinker, and he cracks me up regularly with his interpretation of the world. When he was 9, he had a shunt revision, and a tech came in early the next am to do lab work, he asked me later, "what does that mean, Mom, draw blood on me?" He was really puzzled by it.
    He refers to the CAT scanner as "that big donut". He also prefers blond nurses: "She's a blondie, Mom!", he tells me!
  7. 0
    Yes, my patient was definately a concrete thinker. I ended up doing a Denver II screening test on her for extra credit She had a good time with the blocks, and so did I!
  8. 10
    I work in a dementia/special care unit. There is a 94 y/o lady who is a RN. She always tells us. now remember, if anyone gets sick, you come and get me. I'm a nurse.

    She always tells the other nurse (who is a LPN) "Do you know what LPN means? LETS PLAY NURSE!!" That just cracks me up.
    maelstrom143, llwp, besaangel, and 7 others like this.
  9. 5
    80 year old disoriented pt with foley...
    "I'd get out of this bed and into the chair if this darn 'pecker' would get out of the way, it's not doing any good anyway" She's holding the foley tubing while telling us this one morning.
    We all still laugh about this when we tell it to someone new.
  10. 3
    One confused older gentleman, with a memory span measured in seconds, fixed on me as I was trying to catch up with some paperwork. After asking several times when the next bus was due, and being told that he was in a hospital, he went off, to return yet again, but with a new question. "Why am I here?"...... " Because you've been having trouble with remembering things lately" He turned away to leave, then spun back, before he had time to forget, and announced " I don't recollect that!" He cracked me up so much I changed jobs!
    Don


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