Funniest Things Doctors say!

[RNdiva505]

What is the funniest thing that a doctor has ever charted, stated, or ordered!

I had a patient with end stage AIDS. The patient's doctor came up to me and asked me how her kyphosis sarcomas are looking. I stated, "Well those sarcomas do appear alittle arched!" lol. He asked me if I was being funny or serious and that this was a serious matter because if I didn't know already the patient would inevitably die!

Aaaa, no duh sherlock!

[SaoirseRN]

Doctor wearing a neon green lanyard for his ID tag -- newly acquired as I hadn't seen him wearing it before. I commented on the green colour and said it was good he'd chosen a break-away type.

He said, "Do people really get strangled?"

(Oh poor, naive doctor)

I said, "Never underestimate the power of a hypoxic 90 year old."

(This actually happened to a coworker)

He laughed and said, "I thought you were going to say 'hypoxic nurse'!"

[inkednurse]

As a patient and a nurse I found the humor in being told by an Anesthesiologist after my emergency c-section that required general anesthesia, "for your height and weight you're surprisingly easy to intubate." Now as an OR nurse I love to recount that one to patients!

[ncl52598]

I once had a resident order SCDs on a man with no legs. I wanted to put them on his prostheses and stand them in the corner. I ahve also heard "stop the 0.9 and start normal saline"

[monkeybug]

When I worked NICU we were lucky, we were one of the few areas of the hospital rarely "blessed" with residents. Occasionally we would get one who had an interest and they were allowed to come in and follow the neonatologists for a few months. One day I overheard our wonderful Neo talking to the resident about cold stress and discussing one baby's low temps. He told the resident to order a bunting, resident nodded wisely, and Neo walked off. Resdient walks up to me and says, "This baby needs a bunting." I told him I agreed and asked him to write the order. He looked sheepish and said, "Um, how do you spell 'bunting'?" Bless his heart, he didn't even know what it was. I liked him, so I explained it to him, showed him one, and spelled it for him.

[SaoirseRN]

When I worked NICU we were lucky we were one of the few areas of the hospital rarely "blessed" with residents. Occasionally we would get one who had an interest and they were allowed to come in and follow the neonatologists for a few months. One day I overheard our wonderful Neo talking to the resident about cold stress and discussing one baby's low temps. He told the resident to order a bunting, resident nodded wisely, and Neo walked off. Resdient walks up to me and says, "This baby needs a bunting." I told him I agreed and asked him to write the order. He looked sheepish and said, "Um, how do you spell 'bunting'?" Bless his heart, he didn't even know what it was. I liked him, so I explained it to him, showed him one, and spelled it for him.[/quote']

That is adorable!

[Blue Roses]

I work on a Neuro Med-Surg floor. One night towards the begining of shift someone had paged the neurosurgeon on call, an older and somewhat quirky physician. When the phone rang I answered it and he doesn't say hello or his name or anything, just says "It's going to be a full moon tonight!!!" At first I thought it was a prank call, but thankfully I awkwardly figured it out and passed it on to the nurse who paged.

[rnblack4]

I had a patient that was in early dementia and had the cutest British accent. He was to be discharged to a nursing home, and he really did not want to do that. He told the doctor he wanted to go back to London. The doctor put an order in for a 1 way ticket to London! :lol:

[mariebailey, MSN, RN]

A doctor actually put on a patient's CXR interpretation that the "nodules did not know his socks off."

[LNRN11]

We had a younger gentleman on our unit who was incredibly rude to the nursing staff and pretty much anyone he encountered. One of our female surgeons was on call that weekend and rounding for her colleagues patients, which included this particular patient. She walked into the room, asked him how he was doing and he proceeded to go off. She cut him short and said, "Well...aren't you a miserable son of a *****." She then walked out and wrote "security to room" in her orders.

[marydc]

I work on a psychiatric unit. I was telling a psychiatrist about an agitated, delusional patient who believed that he was God. His immediate response: "Tell him that's impossible. He can't be God; I'm God"! In reality he is one of my favorite docs and would never be accused of having a god complex.

Guess you had to be there...was so funny to those of us there, yet losses something as I read it!