Funniest/strangest dementia patient stories

Nurses Humor

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I'm sure we all have them, especially those of us who have worked in LTC. Here are some of mine:

  • climbing into other residents' beds and taking a nap...one time we found the resident sleeping in a bed that was already occupied by the resident it belonged to--they were both sleeping in there!!
  • putting pajamas in the toilet, then having an extra-large BM right on top of them
  • taking a cup that had some medication mixed in juice, then turning to the person sitting next to her and saying "here, you can have this"--fortunately I was able to take it back before the other resident could get a hold of it
  • wandering around in the hall and grabbing people's butts
  • blowing nose into a tissue, then using same tissue to "clean" nurse's station counter :barf02:

What other funny/crazy things have you guys seen dementia patients do?

One afternoon, a group of residents were heading to the chapel to play Bingo when one lady comes around the corner with no pants on. She was dressed to the nines minus pants, one of the alert residents just sat there and laughed! It took some good convincing to get her to go back to her room to get some pants on.

One lady was quite the baker in her day. She was mixing a cake at dinner time.. stirring her food together. She asked me to get some baking soda and would not be redirected. So I handed her an empty cup; she looks at it and said "Do you think I'm stupid? This is empty!! Can't get anyone to do anything right in this place!" Later i was putting her to bed and she was looking for the frosting. I got blamed for letting the kids eat it all. oops!

One memorable night, a bunch of the ladies had gathered in the TV room to watch Lawrence Welk on PBS. Afterward a documentary about bears had come on. I swear, every resident I put to bed that night was convinced there was bears in their rooms. My baking lady was so worried about bears getting inside. She finally settled down after I told her that they lock the doors at night and bears don't know the code to get it. And if they did, they don't have thumbs to work the handle, nor do they know how to operate elevators.

I worked a couple of night shifts this week. One nurse, while doing her rounds, found one of our dementia patients in the shower room....having a BM and wearing someone else's skinny jeans (not sure if we ever figured out who they belonged to).

Needless to say, not a pleasant experience for anyone, but it makes for a funny story :rolleyes:

LOL there is something about Italian women - they have fire in their blood and it never dies!

We had a similar situation in the nursing home I used to work at while I was a student. I guess management assumed that our two Italian ladies, speaking the same language and sharing the same culture, would like to sit at the same dining table. Yeah, that didn't work out so well :rolleyes: They just yelled at each other in Italian and tried to sabotage each other's meals.

OK, so this reminds me. One of our cardiologist is a great big muscular guy - ex-football player, with a sort of dark, glowering presence and a very soft, almost inaudible voice most of the time. He had a patient in the ICU who was a little tiny birdlike italian lady, maybe 85 or so. She'd come in with a bradycardia and a temporary pacemaker was placed. After a day or two it became clear that she needed a permanent pacer, so he goes in and sits down on the side of her bed and does his very conscientious best to explain the situation to her and let her know she needed a permanent pacemaker. After he'd talked for quite a while, she finally spoke up in a loud voice: (You have to supply the Italian accent here) "Whata you meana permanent? I didn't come a the hospital to getta my hair fixed!"

Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

Bears don't have thumbs?......Had a similar problem with a patient and snakes; Someone saw a rather long shed snakeskin in her basement; she wouldn't be convinced it was a good thing, since it was a very old house and there was evidence of mice. Finally the only way I could get her calmed down was to tell her that "Snakes can't WALK up the stairs!" She bought that one, thank goodness!

I worked with a lady who would always smile, "You're so beautiful," while reaching her hand up to try and touch my face... after she was done wiping herself. :uhoh21:

I also worked with a man who was very demanding and whenever I said, "patience is of virtue," he would always reply, "not for men!"

Another lady had a bedside plaque that said, "The queen sleeps here." After reading it she would proudly say something along the lines of, "It must be talking about me," or "that's right."

One of my dementia patients LOVED to eat, all he'd want all day long was food. One day a nurse handed him a cotton ball to wipe off his finger after checking his BS and he said "oh thank you!" and popped it in his mouth, the nurse said "NO! that's cotton!" so he took it out of his mouth, threw it across the room, and yelled "son of a *****!" :lol2:

Another pt we never have any idea how he's going to respond, one day i walked in and said "how are you doing today Mr. C?" he responded, "I'm ok, but I cant fly today" and then proceeded to use his hands to start flapping

We had a funny and charming gentleman who was bopping his way up to the nurses' station. On his head was a sharp fedora hat.

The charge looks up and exclaims, "Well, look at that hat! Hey, are you a detective? You Dick Tracy or something?"

The pt grinned from ear to ear, slapped his hand down on the desk, leans in and exclaims, "Well, I don't know about Tracy but I have the ****!!"

We all split a gut!

Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

Elderly dementia woman, PDN case......called a cab , but the first I knew of it was the taxi honking out in front of the house....so. I went out with a questioning look on my face , the cabbie said, "I'm supposed to pick up a fare to go to the airport. " I told him that the lady only had kleenex, crayons and a comb in her purse, no money, and she had alzheimer's, so he called in to his dispatcher and told them they'd better put a note to double-check any further cab requests from that address. Thank God for short-term memory loss, because the pt. never mentioned the cab or her trip, so neither did I!

Specializes in LTC, Psych, Hospice.

I was trying to get one of my dementia pts to go w/ me to his room for an assessment. He refused, stating he was busy rewiring an airplane. (He was an airplane mechanic in WWII.) So, I pulled up a chair and sat beside him, hoping he would be done with his "rewiring" shortly. He looked at me and said, "Don't just sit there. Get down there and pull the red wires". I squatted down and began "pulling wires". After a couple of minutes, he yelled at me, "Stupid woman! You've pulled the black wires!"

Same pt a week or so later: I arrived to see him and found out he was resting in his bed. I knocked and walked in his room, closing the door behind me. Me: "How do you feel today, Mr. Jack?" Him: "Like ****. All you do is come in here, close the door and talk. All this time and you still haven't put out"!

Another pt, a darling 90-something woman, always smiling and patting my hand while I do my charting. When I asked if I could get her anything before I left; she replied, "A new brain. I think mine is broken."

There is an elderly gentleman on the secured unit who isn't one of my pts. He likes to sit in his w/c at the nurses station and visit w/ anyone who'll listen to him. For the past couple of months, he's told me that I'm his new girlfriend. Well today, I walk onto the unit and Mr. Charlie races his w/c as fast as he can to me and tells me he wants a divorce. I asked him why and he says, "You're spending too much time w/ those other fellows". The "other fellows" are my pts.

Specializes in Intermediate care.

oh god. When i was at my first CNA job in a nursing home, we had one dementia lady who was an LPN back in her day. She was fairly sharp, but super super confused. You could ask her any nursing question and she would know. You would have no idea talking to her she had dementia, other than short term memory stuff, you would think she is an LPN at our facility. She LOVED helping other residents, which we didn't particularly allow due to safety risks. She liked helping fall risk patients ambulate in the halls, because she thought she was their nurse. I remember once i caught her attempting to help up a fall risk, very large patient. she tells me "This patient just had a big abdominal surgery and hasn't been ambulating. Of course he is a little wobbly. just get me a walker and a gait belt and help me for godsake"

...i think back to this patient and wonder if this is how many of us nurses are going to be when we are older hehe :)

Specializes in Intermediate care.

ahhh, another one of my favorite from back when i was a CNA in LTC. it was soooooo cute and funny. You have to imagine the cutest/sweetest old man ever with this story.

our patients have "private rooms" and we always do towel pass in the morning. Each patient gets 2 clean hand towels and 2 clean wash clothes every morning. So i give him his clean towels for the day, about 10 minutes later i see him coming towards the dinning room in nothing but his white undies and one little hand towel hanging over his shoulder.

He comes up to me and goes "I'm supposed to meet some fellas at the pool and i'm running late. Can you direct me to the pool?"

He always thought he was in a hotel! :)

Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.

Just LOVE those sweet little old "La-la" folks; they can really make my day!

Specializes in Hospice & Palliative Care, Oncology, M/S.

Just the other day I was a 1:1 with a cognitive impairment fellow... We were having a very interesting conversation about the birds in the trees outside, when he pipes up, "Let me tell ya something, honey, my ex-wife was one snowed-over *****." :D

When I worked in an LTC years ago, there was a newly admitted gentleman who was very shy and didn't want to come out to the dining room for meals or activities. I found out he was a Marine from his son, and went in one day to talk with him. I introduced myself, using the shortened version of my first name (easier to remember), and his face lit up...

He said: "Lt. ____??? Is that really you? Damn, you haven't changed in the last 40 years. How are you? How are your kids? Wow, it's great to see you." His son was looking at me like *****??

I took the initiative of me now being an officer, and he was previously enlisted, to ask if he would like to dine with me and the other officers in the officer's dining room. It worked. He hauled himself into his wheelchair and rolled himself down the hall, saying "What an honor. What an absolute honor, thank you, Lt. ___. Damn, it's good to see you." LOL He was a real treasure. :D

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