Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 42

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

  1. by   catshowlady
    When I was an intermediate care tech, we had a pt who was confused and told the doc she saw spiders on the wall. The doc wrote in the chart, " Pt seeing spiders on the wall. Please make sure there are no spiders in the room tomorrow."

    LOL
  2. by   grace90
    On a pt reporting all these unseen vomiting episodes- pt to vomit only in bucket!
  3. by   queenjean
    Under discharge instructions: "Don't smoke crack!!!"




    Pt was noncompliant based on information obtained from a subsequent admission.
  4. by   Spectre
    LPS - lonely person syndrome
    FGS - family guilt syndrome (when you haven't spoken to dad in 10years and now he's had a heat attack so you want the drs to wake him up so you can say sorry)

    did ECG on a pt with severe pneumonia, gave it to Dr, med student leans over shoulder and says 'cant you get one without all this noise on it?' i responded with if he'd kindly fix the pneumonia causing the noise i'd happily rpt the ECG.

    rang a prestigious Dr who was always polite but aloof with nurses, was discussing his patient with him as per his request when he said, look I'll call you back in 5mins, I'm at home, standing naked in the hall dripping water on the floor after a shower and I'm freezing.' Turns out they are human after all
  5. by   elthia
    1. Upright PA and lat CXR this am in x-ray department. Reason: Pnuemopericardium
    2. I still can't tell from the chart what operation I did nor when. Please work with the CCU at extension xxxx to try to find the hand-written op note.
    3. D/c amiodarone.


    Like how he snuck #2 in there?? It was a crotchety surgeon who was ticked, he preferred to handwrite his op notes vs dictate them, and his note got misplaced in the PACU.
  6. by   Peepsaretasty
    Ok, I can't read anymore without sharing. One of our residents (I am transitioning from vet med to human med) in the equine (horse) clinic wrote the following on a inter-clinic memo:

    "Pt is CTD, O BSC, Refer to Dr Deere for TTJ"

    translation: "Patient is circling the drain, owner is Bat**** crazy, Refer to Dr Deere (aka John Deere, the tractor) for transfer to Jesus"
    Last edit by ElvishDNP on Apr 17, '08 : Reason: TOS
  7. by   Treat et Street
    On an undiagnosible pt,"GOK" God Only Knows.

    On a pt's d/c insts, one who knew much more than the doc, "AMFYOYO" Audios My Friend [sic] Your On Your Own.

    Same wonderful doc.
  8. by   hikernurse
    Quote from Peepsaretasty
    Ok, I can't read anymore without sharing. One of our residents (I am transitioning from vet med to human med) in the equine (horse) clinic wrote the following on a inter-clinic memo:

    "Pt is CTD, O BSC, Refer to Dr Deere for TTJ"

    translation: "Patient is circling the drain, owner is Bat**** crazy, Refer to Dr Deere (aka John Deere, the tractor) for transfer to Jesus"
    I guess the main difference between horse clinics and people clinics is that we don't use tractors in the hospital . Other than that, that doesn't sound unfamiliar .
  9. by   Nurse Rachet RN
    Hillbilly Hospital...I was walking through the ER tonight and a psych patient offered our security guard a peice of his chocolate cake and as I kept walking I heard the guard reply..."No thanks, I just put some chew in my mouth"....

    You gotta love it
  10. by   car_crash_heart1408
    Well, as a LPN in a LTC setting I have seen my share of laughter inducing charting/orders.
    Just recently, we had a resident return from the hospital. On the paper work listed procedures done. One such procedure was a "barium enema that revealed esophageal varices". That must be one heck of an enema!!
  11. by   Wildwood Flower
    Just out of nsg school,I found an order for LOC PRN, sooooooo I'm thinking why would a doc order level of conciousness prn, and being new, hated to ask co- workers but finally did and they laughed, said he meant laxative of choice! DUH!
  12. by   rainfallrx
    My favorite is :

    Foley to gravity please. Uhhh...why don't we just hook it up to suction, just for the hell of it. He He He

  13. by   RNelf
    This on an ICU pt: "Please, for the love of God, transfer pt to floor. Monitored bed not necessary."

    Also once had a pt with the admitting dx of "TFTB"--too fat to breathe.

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