Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 38

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

  1. by   TRINI_RN
    pt has a boil right above her pubic hair line that the doc wanted warm compresses put on. We had 3-4 people read the orders because I SWEAR it looked like:

    "Warm compress to BUSH bid".

    LOL, turns out it was Pubis, not bush...........these docs really need to write better.
  2. by   lorilou22RN
    early in my career, we had a doc, who was....well SPECIAL if you get my meaning. She was very homeopathic based, and tried to incorporate that, and science for the care of her patients. Admirable, but well ODD. One day one of her elderly patients was severely constipated, KUB and CT just showed he was - um- full, no Obstruction. She ordered enemas until clear, nothing unusual, except this was not oil retention, nor was it SSE, she actually wanted maple syrup mixed in warm water. This was to be done until the poor man made a big poopoo! Well it was one of the first times we had to obtain "meds" from the dietary dept! And for those that are interested, No it didn't work it just was one sticky mess.<TABLE id=HB_Mail_Container height="100%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0 UNSELECTABLE="on"><TBODY><TR height="100%" UNSELECTABLE="on" width="100%"><TD id=HB_Focus_Element vAlign=top width="100%" background="" height=250 UNSELECTABLE="off">

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    Last edit by ElvishDNP on Feb 21, '08 : Reason: TOS for language
  3. by   TigerGalLE
    Discharge orders for my 84yr old little old man...

    No boxing for 10 days... The patient and I had a good laugh about that one. Apparently in his 20s he was a pro boxer!
  4. by   rph3664
    Quote from gotnurse333
    hehe ooh yes the route's very important...with names like bubble gum enemas who knows what else they'll come up with


    We sometimes get orders for those! I always call the doctor to make sure it's "Cottonseed oil and colace" which is how it's usually ordered.

    Whenever we call Food & Nutrition with a request for a gallon jug of oil, they giggle because they know what it's used for.

    When shaken up, it looks like a Tequila Sunrise.
  5. by   Jessiedog
    Quote from rph3664


    We sometimes get orders for those! I always call the doctor to make sure it's "Cottonseed oil and colace" which is how it's usually ordered.

    Whenever we call Food & Nutrition with a request for a gallon jug of oil, they giggle because they know what it's used for.

    When shaken up, it looks like a Tequila Sunrise.
    In a paediatric ward 10 yrs ago, we had to give a 2yo a milk & treacle enema. We rang kitchen for the ingredients, and had lots of explaining to do: "yes, we do need the treacle. What for? Well, for treatment of a patient."

    Milk warmed and treacle added it smelled SOOOO good! Made me hungry, as I LOVE to put treacle on my porridge, and follow up with a good squirt of milk.

    Have to say it didn't smell too good after the child returned it 15 minutes later. It did take me a little while to eat porridge again after that.
  6. by   xviii-xxv
    Quote from shudokan-RN
    :roll when I was in the navy, stationed in the Phillippines, I had a filipino doc ask me for some Bondage scissors ???


    bandage scissors..
  7. by   seagull
    Quote from frustratedRN
    i thought this was funny but one of the nurses on the unit was going to have this doc written up.

    had a patient with alzheimers. he was restrained fully...arms, legs, vest because he kept pulling at his tubes.

    poor guy didnt know what was going on. he stopped urinating. all he knew was that ppl kept coming in his room while he was tied up and did things with his penis. countless tries and we could not get a foley in. he screamed and called us names. i got kicked in the stomach when we let his leg lose...but still i never got angry. i dunno seemed kinda funny coming from that perspective.
    after all this a doc comes in and he is trying to insert a catheter.
    the patient gets REALLY mad and starts accusing the doc of being gay and playing with his penis.
    the doc got all tongue tied and you could see he was really mad.
    he stopped trying to put in the foley.

    on the chart he wrote:
    pt needs foley--will be ****** without one.

    well i didnt say it was appropriate...i just thought it was funny. and although it caused no harm im sure ms beotch had him written up.
    whew!!! Same thing happened and always happens to us here in my work place. I am employed here in a hospital in Saudi Arabia where it's really taboo for females to handle male stuff... Can you imagine the awkwardness cause we really have to do it.
    Last edit by Thunderwolf on Mar 8, '08 : Reason: profanity edited in quote
  8. by   seagull
    Nice, a good laugh, although it really is a common scenario at my workplace where English is not the languageof choice.
  9. by   MaryAnn_RN
    Radio 4 qds
  10. by   MaryAnn_RN
    Quote from nurtch04
    OOPS........ I meant....... Pt incont. of lg bowl movement
    That reminds me of the Gomer Scale

    http://www.lambert.net.au/med/gomerscale.pdf
  11. by   Laughs-a-lot, RN
    this is funny. the secretary had updated the kardex when she took off the order and wrote vital signs q shi_t, she was missing the f. we were all laughing in report that day.
  12. by   Laughs-a-lot, RN
    my first experience with a pt's that passed away. I called security to come and pick up the body to take to the hospital morgue. I told the security officer, the pt will call me later with funeral home arrangements. He never let me live that one down.
  13. by   peridotgirl
    Quote from scarymary
    That reminds me of the Gomer Scale

    http://www.lambert.net.au/med/gomerscale.pdf
    I read it but didn't quite get its purpose.. what is the Gorner's scale?

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