Dog and Cat Diaries

  1. FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

    8:00 a.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
    9:30 a.m. Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
    9:40 a.m. Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
    10:30 a.m Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!

    11:30 a.m Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
    Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
    1:00 p.m. Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
    4:00 p.m. Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
    5:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
    5:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
    6:00 p.m. Oh, boy! Playing ba ll! My favorite!
    6:30 a.m. Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
    8:30 p.m. Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My! favorite!


    FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

    Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild scolding I get from ruining the occasional
    piece of furniture.

    Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit
    on their favorite chair, must try this on their bed.

    Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

    There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what
    this is and how to use it to my advantage.

    I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand,
    has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
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  2. 6 Comments

  3. by   nekhismom
    LOL!!!

  4. by   traumaRUs
    As a dog person - I laughed too. very cute
  5. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    I miss having a dog. No matter how crappy of a day you had or how bad of a mood you're in, they're ALWAYS happy to see you.

    And there's nothing like waking up with a cat wrapped around your neck. Or when they get a case of the "demons" (when they run around the house like a fool for no apparent reason)
  6. by   RN~in~CT
    :chuckle

    Loved it!
  7. by   nursebedlam
    smiles,,,lol
  8. by   jnette
    Have read this before, and thought it was just soooooooo true !!!

    Also found that I am definately the "dog" personality. :chuckle :imbar

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