Charting Bloopers - page 59

Found in the History and Physical section of a patient's chart who had experienced visual hallucinations while ill: "Patient vehemently denies any auditory, tactile, or old factory hallucinations." YIKES! Angela... Read More

  1. 1
    From last night, the triage nurse wrote: ROH. According to friend consumed unknown amounts of speed and coke. Responds to pain and alcohol.

    I write my notes in French and don't understand all the abreviations here. I feel I'm missing out on some funny stuff.
    carolmaccas66 likes this.

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  2. 1
    Quote from roser13
    "What is "cerclage?" Cerclage is a procedure (involves a suture, I believe) used on a pregnant woman with an incompetent cervix. It helps keep the cervix closed until delivery time.
    Quote from TonyaM73
    Cerclage: also called purse stings (for slang) because that is what the suture stitch looks like. It is used to keep the cervix closed until it is time for delivery, otherwise if the cervix is not strong enough the baby will be born prematurly.
    Thank you for the info. I did not know what cerlage was; I haven't ever worked in OB beyond my brief rotation way back in nursing school. I also didn't know what "cirvical" was....
    carolmaccas66 likes this.
  3. 2
    "7 fecalettes" LOL! What a name for a singing group
    sauconyrunner and carolmaccas66 like this.
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    Quote from jkh
    A visiting psychiatrist from India was at rounds one morning when he wrote the following in the patient's note,
    "He is clearly psychotic this morning. He states he has a frog in his throat."

    I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!!!! That's so funny!
  5. 8
    Quote from Terre
    A new intern to our CCU once charted attempts to cardiovert a patient in the following manner:
    Attempted to convert the patient with 200 jews, unsuccessful. Second attempt to convert the patient with 300 jews unsuccessful. Patient finally converted on the third attempt with 300 jews.
    The mental picture of three hundred rabbis surrounding a patient's bed yelling, "Convert, convert!" was too much. We nicknamed him "Call a Code or Call a Rabbi" from that day forward.

    I know that's an old post, but ROTFL!

    Ditto for
    Patient vehemently denies any auditory, tactile, or old factory hallucinations
    Old factory hallucinations : Oh, they are the WORST! All that incessant clanking, and molten metal flows like lava, and dust, and rust, and noxious sulfur vapors, and rain pouring through the holes in the roof, and klaxxons going off, and it's infernally hot in the summer but you have to wear two coats in the winter and... I just KNOW that's what I'm going to have, whenever I finally start losing my mind! Seriously, you'd never want to have old factory hallucinations. Working in an actual old factory for wages is bad enough.
    Last edit by Streamline2010 on Sep 14, '10
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    here's another for you all- we have an MD that comes in and when he's having a bad day and is mad writes orders like: tell administration to thin chart. or even better: find her ted stockings.
    nicely put, but couldn't you ask us instead of writing such wierd orders
    carolmaccas66 likes this.
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    This was a typo, and was meant to be "Past"

    "Pt. reports pasty abuse"
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    We still kid with the doc that wrote the order "d/c hallucinations" The pharmacy called to tell us it was not on their formulary.
  9. 1
    Had to add this one. Working in Well-baby, two residents were writing furiously in a chart and had checked a baby's diaper several times. They finally waved me over and said, "I don't want to alarm you but there is blood in this baby's diaper..." it was all I could do but laugh. In fact it took a minute or so to compose myself to explain uric acid crystals. I left them trying to figure out how to dispose of the charting they had just completed.
    carolmaccas66 likes this.
  10. 3
    This was found in a History & Physical for a surgical patient. It was supposed to say: "Pt has had colitis three times for which she was hospitalized." But the transcription left the "L" out of "colitis". The pt did have three children, so it could be true.

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