Charting Bloopers

Had a Doc at LTC who hated regulations and was a constant battle to get him to write dx for each med he ordered. After several requests he wrote dx for MOM order: can't sh**. Had to leave it on the chart....I'm sure surveyors saw it, but never said a word.

Not sure I'd call that a blooper. It was intentional and aimed at you. So rude and nasty yes... accidental no.

I review medical records all day and have come across some really wierd ones.

"from both flebitis" (thrombophlebitis?)
"very close veins" (varicose?)
"patient is matching his eyes and his nose" (I's & O's?)
" no evidence of libido on lower extremities" (livido?)
"paralyzed with the neck team" (Anectine?)
"ptosis given @ 2 mu for induction of labor" (Pitocin?)
But I guess my all time favorite is "two lane hospital" (Tulane)

I think it's posted elsewhere on this site: the physician couldn't think of the correct name for the incentive spirometer, so he wrote: suck balls QID!

I've still seen thick, white drainage as ***** more than once. As a matter of fact just three days ago! What drove me crazy was that I was sitting there trying to think of the alternate term and could not remember "purulent". That Alzheimer's thing again!

did you carry out this order?

No, no, the PATIENT was to carry out the order! Would have been an interesting sight to see.....

if he did carry it out...would probably never leave his house once he got home....

This isn't exactly a blooper, but I thought it was rather funny. A peds resident had written a consult for one of our ED attendings:

"Your help with IV access for this child on long-term antibiotics. I tried X3 and failed. Can you help us out?"

The attending's reply read:

"I tried.
I succeeded"

Knowing the attending, I can hear him saying it out loud before he wrote it! Reading this made the hour-plus it took me to wade thru the chart well worth it.

that is so funny, i once charted, "g-tube patent draining clear yellow urine"!!!!!!!