Nurses Humor
Published Apr 1, 2001
Very, very funny and true!
If I may add one more:
"Spread open your legs so I can insert this "(foley cath)
marybethm
48 Posts
To my co-workers,"Another one bites the dust..." Gallows humor, I guess.
elizabells, BSN, RN
2,094 Posts
Said by my preceptor when I was learning to give a suppository to an infant:
Now, just gently push your pinky finger one knuckle deep into his rectum...
vamedic4, EMT-P
1,061 Posts
I'd like to intubate her with my laryngoscope of love....:rotfl:
jaky_speaks
30 Posts
I look very asian, but I'm hispanic, so working in a family care clinic for a chinese doctor he taught me what to say as a curtesy to his patients.
I would walk in, paper garments in hand and say (in mandarin):
"I don't speak chinese, please get naked"
'undressed' was completely unpronouncable!
RNDYN2CU
52 Posts
Sir you'e going to have to poop into this hat until the pin comes out and please save it for me, I have to sift you stool! ( another fond County General Hospital memory.)
you can't tense up if you're blowing
OpusNurse
23 Posts
I work in Plastics where we do a lot of rescontruction post mastectomy. I have a box of sample implants in my desk drawer. I get a kick out of being able to say "let me show you my breasts" and won't get fired for it.
Tievoli
14 Posts
Something i heard from behind the curtain.......... Come on 'Fred' get your leg over........... (nurse was rolling patient to wash his back)
gitterbug
540 Posts
Just relax, it's over quicker that way.
Don't bite, just suck.
Now, doesn't that feel goood?
Agnus
2,719 Posts
Okkkk, can't go on. oooonly on page 2. Ffffive more pppages to go. Cccan't brrreath too ffffunny. I could actually die here from laughing.
28101975
2 Posts
Theseare Indeed Funny
mcmike55
369 Posts
I don't know about getting arrested, but these two will sure make heads turn!!
1. I used to teach CPR, and the Annie had a paper strip read out that showed how hard the student was compressing, etc.
A student of mine, (female), who was having trouble passing the class, stopped at my table at a local pizza shop, and in a voice louder than she intended, said: "Can I stop in and do a strip for you tomorrow, I've been practicing !!" You could hear necks snap, as they turned to look!!!
2. Working in surgery, everyone I work with is, of course, in scrubs. Who hasn't run across the line: "Oh, you look different with your clothes on!"
Not lines to get arrested for, but fun to watch lay people reactions.
Mike