10 things you say at work lay people could get arrested for

How about, "No you can't leave, I'll tie you down if you try it again"

Things that may get you arrested or generally hit!

1. Sorry to have to do this, but it is just a little prick!
2. Take off all your clothes and sit on this bed.
3. Your SOB!
4. Just Follow the light (using pen light).
5. Take a deep breath as I pull this out (male RN foley d/c).
6. Don't worry, I have small fingers and lots of lube (insert supp).
7. I can't get this in, let me get someone to help. (IV insert).
8. Calm down or I will have to restain you.
9. What was your last menstrual period like? or "any burning on urination?
10. Swallow hard now or you will aspirate this!
11. This may feel better if you lay on your side.

These made me spit onto my computer screen!!!

I've asked a woman how her nipples were feeling. She just laughed but then she realized I was asking her about it because she was a new breastfeeding mom.

Hey betty, your turn, I blew him twice already!

While doing venipuncture I said "You'll feel a little prick" the female patient goes I had a big one last night. I didn't ask but did she mean a bigger needle or her boyfriend's got a big p***s.

These are sooooo funny!!! I love them!!!
Nursewannbe

Now that's funny!

My favorite was working inthe Coronary Care Unit. My Team leader and I were especially challenged to look after a very big, strong and aggressive man with a temp. pacing wire in his groin (very awkward posittion!). My TL, a very experienced CCU RN called out to me from behind the curtains "get me some more tape please while I'm holding this". On returning, there she was with a big handful of genitles, not realising she had been holding them just a little too long after I had already applied more tape! Needless to say, no complaints from the patient!

Oh goodness!