Resigning and the Incessant "Why?"

[technofreak]

I plan on resigning from my current position as staff nurse and giving my current manager about 3.5 weeks of notice in the next couple of days (company policy is to provide 3 weeks). I plan on speaking to my manager and then emailing my resignation letter.

This was my first nursing position, and I almost gave up on nursing, as a profession, because of the toxic environment. This is not my first career or job and never have I been so miserable. Most recently I stood up to the unit's bully. Although this individual was written up because of the numerous complaints from others, I've officially reached my boiling point. By the grace of God, I was offered a great opportunity recently.

When I speak to my manager, is it professional to just say that I'm resigning for another position that is a better fit (the truth btw)? Should I say something else? My manager will inevitably ask why? She's extremely insistent. I would rather not focus on the past but on my future. Additionally, I will be stuck on the unit for another month and complaining about the people she hired, IMO, will not benefit my limited time on the unit.

I guess I'm looking for the easiest way off this unit without burning bridges or making my remaining month unusually unbearable. I also must say that I am grateful that my manager took a chance on me, when she didn't have to, even though my time on her unit has been less than pleasant. Help!

Kindest regards,

Reenergized RN

[amoLucia]

FWIW, many organizations (like mine) utilize a 3rd party company to conduct exit interviews.... this is the best way to try to obtain accurate and objective information. Confidentiality is guaranteed - because the organization is interested in the 'issues' rather than identify of people involved. If a serious issue is identified (ex: sexual harassment, discrimination, fraud, etc) respondents are asked whether they will permit their names to be divulged in order to effectively pursue follow up investigations that may be warranted.

I would graciously disagree in that I truly believe that there is no such thing as confidentiality and/or anonymity. Benjamin Franklin said "two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead".

To HouTx - MAYBE you are right, but personally, I don't trust anybody anymore. Maybe I'm just being cynical.

To OP - all the previous posts said it all. Less is best.

[ArrowRN, BSN, RN]

For resigning I'd stick to be as generic as possible without giving any details and do not give where you will be going to, reason being administrators often know each other at different institutions. To work out the rest of your time, I'd just remember to perform your job as if unto God, doing it to your best ability. Remember you can leave but the patients are stuck with dealing with what ever nurses you left behind. I'd try to make the best of your days just for the patient's sake and ignore all the other distractions on the unit. After all it's for them you became a nurse...right?

[MeiLana]

Someone else said that your complaints would not be news to the manager and if your complaints upon exit were going to make an impact, the truth is they already would have. If management cared, they would have done something. At this point, you need to look out for your own career and if throwing around the sugar bowl is what's required, then do so.

I also agree with whoever said there's no such thing as anonymity. Nursing is not my first career -- how people relate to each other is the same wherever you go.

[laKrugRN]

It's none of your managers business honestly. But just keep it brief or make some polite excuse. Just leave on a good note. Never burn a bridge.

[caliotter3]

I would graciously disagree in that I truly believe that there is no such thing as confidentiality and/or anonymity. Benjamin Franklin said "two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead".

To HouTx - MAYBE you are right, but personally, I don't trust anybody anymore. Maybe I'm just being cynical.

To OP - all the previous posts said it all. Less is best.

Unless information is provided to the employer in aggregate at a certain point in time, it would be very easy to figure out who provided the less than stellar exit interview observations by timing the input with the exit of each employee. Not that many persons exit at the same time.

[Gooselady, BSN, RN]

You'd hate to have your current manager tell your new manager that you mentioned staff bullying as one reason you left.

Just bringing up the subject of lateral violence here creates a lot of strong feelings. I know it happens. Even so, when I was a manager I felt a twinge when an interviewee brought it up. I think things like this need to stay FAR away from the interview or any records/words that might follow you to your new job.

Oh wait, you've already accepted the new position? :blush: never mind however, I won't delete this because it might help someone else.

I seriously doubt your current manager is clueless about the badly behaved nurse, so if you said nothing about it, you wouldn't be contributing passively to the problem. On the other hand, telling the manager this specific person's behavior made your experience on that job unpleasant at times is about as far as I would go. I would be very specific, rather than general (the whole unit is unpleasant). This is some good grey area stuff to feel out as a fairly new nurse. Professionalism trumps all. It is not unprofessional to speak up about lateral violence, but how you deliver the information can be 'unprofessional'.

[Graduatenurse14]

Why should the bully and toxic environment be protected? Who does that help in the long run? Not the OP. It is sad that in our society, telling the truth about wrong things = bridge burning.

When I started RN school part-time, I was working in my first career full-time in which the workplace had a lot of dysfunction, favoritism and unprofessionalism. When I switched to full-time RN school, I quit my job and had a meeting with bosses boss and her boss to let them know what was going on. Some changes were made but not the big things per my former co-workers but it didn't surprise me based upon the particular dynamics of the issues- things that I don't want to get into.

I did the right thing since what was going on was wrong and I also knew that I was burning my bridges and that made me sad that the wrong stuff going on was looked at as "more right" than the "telling of the wrong things."

I knew I did right thing and would do it again.

OP, can you meet with someone after you quit or write a letter giving them more truthful details. Not a good fit is true but there are other things that are true too.