I just need to vent, so here goes:
I am a former Infantryman with long-standing and well-treated bipolar disorder incurred during my military service. Thanks to Vocational Rehabilitation I graduated as an RN in 2011 and was eventually hired to work Telemetry overnight at a local Hospital (they were the first ones who actually called back.)
Anyhow, I made it a grand total of four months before I began having panic attacks before, and then ultimately during, my shifts. I had never experienced them before, even with the Bipolar diagnosis. I talked to my Unit Coordinator and VA Psychiatrist; both were extremely understanding and agreed to take me out of work for six months so that I could seek treatment.
The six months are up in two weeks.
Right now I have prescriptions for Ativan PRN, Propanolol PRN and Zolpidem PRN, and I am in the middle of a cognitive-behavioral treatment program which hasn't concluded yet due to both my previous provider moving to Boston and my new provider coming down with an illness that has him sidelined for a month...so I definitely haven't completed my course of treatment yet. I'm also starting to have dreams where I'm back on the floor dealing with just one patient, and it feels so overwhelming that I wake myself up in the middle of the night...and that's nowhere near my usual patient load of 5-7 patients.
I clearly can't return to Telemetry (my Psych has already told me that), but the Hospital still has me on the books as a full-time employee. My nightmare is that they just put me back on the floor and then I decompensate again.
Has this happened to anyone else? What should I do?
I'm going to let my Psych know this when I meet with him next week, but frankly I'm nervous that the Hospital will just terminate me if I ask for an extension or a transfer to a "less stressful" (yeah right) department. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I know a new job is a possibility, but I'm not sure whether I should start calling around now or wait until I see what the Hospital and my Psych has to say.
Any thoughts? I'll listen to whatever you have to offer...