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- No Way, I had such hard time identifying with NA. I am finishing my 5th year as of passing November 18, and I was supremely criticized for picking a female (old enough to be my mother) for a sponsor. She was like a drill seargent but had plenty of clean time. I trusted her, and followed her direction. Relapse doesn't have to be part of recovery, and trust me, I know what it's like to "have to get it right." I can only tell you cling to your higher power, and be totally honest with yourself. Don't let your mind trick you into that crap of relapse is needed, it's an excuse that can revoke us.
You are doing great, honestly tell people how you feel let down, and that you need another sponsor-network if you have too, but you can do this. You can do this because when I stepped into Detox, I said, "I can't do this." and again at rehabilitation for 90 days, "I can't do this." I did it, or I'm here sober. YOU CAN DO THIS. Vent, then calmly proceed to getting another sponsor. Success is sweet. It does get better. It does get easier. There are now weeks that go by without even thinking of that drug I so LOVED. You can have that too.
God Bless. Your worth this.
- Nov 28, '12 by TorsadesRNThanks everyone. Only a nurse, or other medical profession with a license, can fully understand that added stress on us. We, or at least I, get ONE CHANCE. Relapse really isn't a option. To me, to relapse would be to take that license and tear it up and throw it away because that would be the choice I was making if I were to pick up.
I am so thankful to have all you recovering nurses on this forum. It is such a comfort to know there are other nurses out there who fully understand. We all need a support system. Just reading encouraging words on this forum keeps me clean and sober another day.
Hugs to all....I'm off to a meeting.
- Nov 28, '12 by nebrgirlGlad your moving, but if you don't find what you need there then keep looking. At one point when I was I was dealing a "different sort of issue" I drove 1 hour each way once a week for a meeting...and I would have driven double that if I had too....because at that point I needed what they had as bad as I needed air....be willing to go to any length. (obviously I didn't go to an English class
- Torsades, I wrote a "T" on my hand today, and every time someone asked me what it was for, I said,"it's to remind me of an unspoken prayer, and if you get a minute- send one up!" Just wanted you to know that you recieved prayers from Doctors, Nurses, Patients, Vendors, A Pharmaceutical Rep, a Chaplain, and a Social Worker. After lunch, I noticed 2 more "T"s on hands, and one on dry erase board. I hope you felt them, and that they brought you comfort, strength, clarity, and serenity! You have a good day.
- Nov 28, '12 by wish_me_luckBoston, I found it easier to identify with my Caduceus people and then, my womens' AA meeting the best. I don't get much out of the co-ed meetings. I mean, I know you are a guy, but I notice that there's a difference in men and womens' groups and a difference in healthcare provider groups and generic AA/NA.
Besides, in my case, there was "13th stepping" going on, so I changed groups and one of my two meetings is usually a womens' meeting and I enjoy it more.
Can you send prayers and good vibes up for me tomorrow???
- Getting my Marker Now
I would love to get to a real peer group with recovering Healthcare workers- mine is just your run of the mill AA, where I am called "The Yungin." The kind that makes you wear a sign around your neck that reads, "Hi, my name is ________, I have trouble asking for help." In the early part of my recovery they were wonderful, but now I would really like to share back and forth with Nurses, and get more perspectives and fine tuningLast edit by BostonTerrierLoverRN on Nov 28, '12
- Nov 29, '12 by wish_me_luckI am one of the youngest, if not the youngest, in my group--both Caduceus and AA (both women and co-ed). You know, I will say the thing that I get tired of, especially with co-ed AA, is the same topic over and over...gratitude for sobriety. I am very grateful for my sobriety, but I did work to get here. I am also at the point that part of my prevention from relapsing is volunteering and trying to give back to the community. It was mentioned that we tend to only think of ourselves and not other peoples' perspectives (people in our lives). I have to slightly disagree. I can be self centered, but I think I got the whole world doesn't revolve around me thing a while back. One of my biggest resentments and hatred is towards myself. I can feel on top of the world some moments and then, the next, I feel like I am the worst person. While I do get angry with people, I am my own biggest enemy.
With Caduceus, there's a little more talk about the day and work and I feel like when I get my first job that I will be able to mention my stressors with it and have someone understand. Plus, since many other people are in a monitoring program, I can get advice about it and everything. It is nice.
- Nov 29, '12 by poppycatI hate it when I hear people tell newcomers that relapse is inevitable. That is simply not true. There is no requirement that says we have to relapse to eventually get the program. In January, I'll have 24 years sobriety & I've never had a relapse. It all depends on how well you work the program. I wish there was a Caduceus meeting in my area but there's not so I make sure to get to at least 3 AA meetings a week, one of which is a women's meeting.
- Nov 29, '12 by TorsadesRNBoston,
You made my eyes tear. That was such an awesome thing you did and I had a wonderful meeting last night and an AWESOME night at work. There was just such a sense of peace and calm in me I couldn't explain. The prayers worked. THANK YOU. That just made my day!
I am moving out of this area. It is a small town, not many meetings to choose from and not much sobriety in the NA rooms. AA has good sobriety and I lean more towards them.
However, in less than two weeks I am moving about an hour away to a big University town. TONS of meetings. I am so excited. Like I said earlier though, there are no caduceus or healthcare provider meetings. Soooooooo, my new passion/project for the New Year? I am starting one. The need is definatly there. Kinda like that movie Field of Dreams. "If you build it they will come". Lol. There is something special about being surronded by your peers in recovery. I was fortunate to go to a rehab that was specifically for nurses, physicians and pharmacists. We had a Saturday night outside recovery meeting for healthcare professionals. It was great.
And Karen, thanks for your inspiration. 24 years! Amazing. Relapse is not an option for me. Nor is it a requirement. I agree. Anyone who tells me otherwise I just smile. I am a red head. I am fiery and tempermental. But I smile because that gives me all the more motivation to stay clean and sober to prove those who say "everyone relapses" WRONG!
Hugs to all of you.