Sponsor relapsed - page 2
I have been in the program 7 months. I came out of rehab with not many options sponsor wise. In my area there sadly is not enough clean time in the NA rooms. I went with the best option and this lady... Read More
Nov 28, '12Torsades, I wrote a "T" on my hand today, and every time someone asked me what it was for, I said,"it's to remind me of an unspoken prayer, and if you get a minute- send one up!" Just wanted you to know that you recieved prayers from Doctors, Nurses, Patients, Vendors, A Pharmaceutical Rep, a Chaplain, and a Social Worker. After lunch, I noticed 2 more "T"s on hands, and one on dry erase board. I hope you felt them, and that they brought you comfort, strength, clarity, and serenity! You have a good day.
Nov 28, '12Boston, I found it easier to identify with my Caduceus people and then, my womens' AA meeting the best. I don't get much out of the co-ed meetings. I mean, I know you are a guy, but I notice that there's a difference in men and womens' groups and a difference in healthcare provider groups and generic AA/NA.
Besides, in my case, there was "13th stepping" going on, so I changed groups and one of my two meetings is usually a womens' meeting and I enjoy it more.
Can you send prayers and good vibes up for me tomorrow???
Nov 28, '12Getting my Marker Now
I would love to get to a real peer group with recovering Healthcare workers- mine is just your run of the mill AA, where I am called "The Yungin." The kind that makes you wear a sign around your neck that reads, "Hi, my name is ________, I have trouble asking for help." In the early part of my recovery they were wonderful, but now I would really like to share back and forth with Nurses, and get more perspectives and fine tuningLast edit by BostonTerrierLoverRN on Nov 28, '12
Nov 29, '12I am one of the youngest, if not the youngest, in my group--both Caduceus and AA (both women and co-ed). You know, I will say the thing that I get tired of, especially with co-ed AA, is the same topic over and over...gratitude for sobriety. I am very grateful for my sobriety, but I did work to get here. I am also at the point that part of my prevention from relapsing is volunteering and trying to give back to the community. It was mentioned that we tend to only think of ourselves and not other peoples' perspectives (people in our lives). I have to slightly disagree. I can be self centered, but I think I got the whole world doesn't revolve around me thing a while back. One of my biggest resentments and hatred is towards myself. I can feel on top of the world some moments and then, the next, I feel like I am the worst person. While I do get angry with people, I am my own biggest enemy.
With Caduceus, there's a little more talk about the day and work and I feel like when I get my first job that I will be able to mention my stressors with it and have someone understand. Plus, since many other people are in a monitoring program, I can get advice about it and everything. It is nice.
Nov 29, '12I hate it when I hear people tell newcomers that relapse is inevitable. That is simply not true. There is no requirement that says we have to relapse to eventually get the program. In January, I'll have 24 years sobriety & I've never had a relapse. It all depends on how well you work the program. I wish there was a Caduceus meeting in my area but there's not so I make sure to get to at least 3 AA meetings a week, one of which is a women's meeting.
Nov 29, '12Boston,
You made my eyes tear. That was such an awesome thing you did and I had a wonderful meeting last night and an AWESOME night at work. There was just such a sense of peace and calm in me I couldn't explain. The prayers worked. THANK YOU. That just made my day!
I am moving out of this area. It is a small town, not many meetings to choose from and not much sobriety in the NA rooms. AA has good sobriety and I lean more towards them.
However, in less than two weeks I am moving about an hour away to a big University town. TONS of meetings. I am so excited. Like I said earlier though, there are no caduceus or healthcare provider meetings. Soooooooo, my new passion/project for the New Year? I am starting one. The need is definatly there. Kinda like that movie Field of Dreams. "If you build it they will come". Lol. There is something special about being surronded by your peers in recovery. I was fortunate to go to a rehab that was specifically for nurses, physicians and pharmacists. We had a Saturday night outside recovery meeting for healthcare professionals. It was great.
And Karen, thanks for your inspiration. 24 years! Amazing. Relapse is not an option for me. Nor is it a requirement. I agree. Anyone who tells me otherwise I just smile. I am a red head. I am fiery and tempermental. But I smile because that gives me all the more motivation to stay clean and sober to prove those who say "everyone relapses" WRONG!
Hugs to all of you.
Nov 30, '12Quote from TorsadesRNI was in your boat. I found the most wonderful Sponser in AA. I never drank but found much more long term sobriety in AA. NA seemed like a swinging door with many relapses. Good luck to you my friend.I have been in the program 7 months. I came out of rehab with not many options sponsor wise. In my area there sadly is not enough clean time in the NA rooms. I went with the best option and this lady had 2 years and worked a good program. At least it seemed she was. My sponsor was very open about admitting to being on methadone and taking rx tramadol. I felt a little uneasy, but ok. I just never felt a connection. She didn't work so she didn't understand what it was like balancing work and recovery. She couldn't understand the stress when I was talking about being in a monitoring program and the fear of losing my license. How could I expect her to understand? There was just, I don't know, no "spark" there. No connection. In the NA rooms here people told me I would relapse "because nobody gets it the first time and relapse is apart of recovery". OMG!!!!!!!! Really!!! That is absurd! A motto I heard in rehab and I stick with it is "relapse is not a requirement". I was given a second chance. My license has no disciplinary action on it. I WAS SO DAMN LUCKY AND BLESSED to be given this second chance. That is why I am do determined and DEDICATED to my recovery. So needless to say, I got a new sponsor and next month I am moving OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Long story short, last week my (old) sponsor showed up at a meeting totally out of it. Denying she relapsed she had a fentanyl patch on her arm that she bought of a girl not in the program. Sad.
My higher power is amazing though. My new sponsor has about 7 years clean. She too is in a recovery program because she is a nurse. She finally decided to petition and get her license back. We have that spark. That connection. That kindred spirit almost. It is a two way street. She helps me but it also helps her.
Not sure why I had to blurt this all out there. Maybe so I can get my so many number of posts it so this site will actually let me repond to my private messages in my inbox.
Hugs to all the nurses out there in recovery!
Keep fighting the good fight!
Nov 30, '12Quote from GA_RN2006Announce yourself as a newcomer & you are looking for a Sponser. They will come to you.Im getting ready to start NA meetings next week but I'm not sure how they work. How do you get a sponsor? Also do they sign a paper saying you have attended the meetings?
Dec 1, '12Quote from GA_RN2006I am sooooo sorry I missed your post asking this! Your in a scary time, and you must have felt ignored- I totally missed this and I am so glad someone else answered it. Next time you have a question, you need answered now PM one of us so we can help you! I fill sick GA_RN that your question wasn't answered, I hope your first visit and meeting goes well hugggz I'm sorry again, I feel like crapIm getting ready to start NA meetings next week but I'm not sure how they work. How do you get a sponsor? Also do they sign a paper saying you have attended the meetings?
P.S. Gotta "G" on my wrist now
Dec 1, '12Quote from BostonTerrierLoverRNYour hands and wrists have got to be full now, lol. Boston, I just wanted to remark that I am very impressed by the caring that you show other posters, including me. You are a very kind person and a dog lover as well. You are "good people."P.S. Gotta "G" on my wrist now
It is almost enough that I am only a little jealous that your nursing board didn't crush you as mine tried to crush me. I was going to say that it did crush me because I am still not working as a nurse when I will have 8 years of sobriety on December 8. However, they will only have crushed me if I let them. I still feel like damaged goods, but I will continue looking for work as a nurse, now that my license is unrestricted.
Shame is my biggest enemy today---and was while I was still out there rampaging with prescription drugs and in my case, compulsively gambling. The difference is, there is hope for me while I stay sober/clean and I will find my way through this challenge too.
Sorry, I kind of strayed off there, but I want all members of this forum to know that whenever you post, you help me on a daily basis.
Thank you all & especially thanks to BostonTerrierLover. You are a gift!!!
Dec 1, '12Boston,Thank u so much for your kind words. I did get an answer to my question but thank you again for your concern. It means a lot that there are ppl out there that are so helpful as yourself. Don't feel bad . I appreciate the "G". Thank you again for all you do.