I am reaching out to those nurses in the Recovery & Monitoring Program of NJ (and to those faced with similar circumstances). I have been in enrolled for about 6 months, and I have never been more appalled by the corruption that is this "recovery" program. I am looking to write to various influential state representatives in hope of receiving a response. I know this may not create change, but perhaps, it will create awareness. I'd love to hear any input (pros/cons).
I used to think their intention was to help turn my life around for the better, but after jumping through flaming hoop after flaming hoop--I have come to realize that it's almost strictly a money sink that operates behind the facade of ~helping nurses~. On an up-note my recreational drug use has ceased, but my depression/anxiety has become severe, and I have constant nightmares and panic attacks. I am hesitant to inform them of the issues at hand, in fear of having them inactivate my recently activated license. I am in fear of saying anything that could potentially worsen my situation, as I have seen them bear down on so many nurses who dare to question them. What aggravates me more--is that they abuse the 'voluntary' aspect of this program as a loophole to eradicate our individual rights.
...this question often comes to mind-- if addiction is viewed as a physical defect in the hedonic system of the brain (i.e. a disease
), then why are we being punished for our disease
? It seems like, as a society, we are still operating archaically in regards to a mental disorder such as this.
There are a few great articles (listed below) that refer to addiction, and how we are going about 'treating' it, in a manner which often proves to be ineffective. Dear RAMP, if you truly want to help us, there is no need to break us, for we are already full of shame and guilt. Perhaps, what we need is support and individually-based treatment. Stripping me of structure, a job, financial security and forcing me to forego my admission into school to acquire my DNP...none of it has helped me. Only fear is keeping me sober. I have never been more miserable and broken in my entire life.
Assuming I graduate from RAMP in 2020, I will have handed over a minimum of $17,000. I would have been graduating from my DNP program that year. Hopefully, by then I will have found a job...although, after many emotionally draining job rejections, I am afraid that may take more time than expected. ....I will keep fighting, because this is my life and I've only got one. You may be able to break me, but you will never destroy my character and determination.
What a lovely way of thanking the people that truly care, those with endless empathy that will literally break their back to help another.
Dear RAMP, perhaps, you need to take a closer look...and try a bit harder to find where the root of the problem lies....