Needing some hope.

Veronica Cheney · Oct 10, 2014

[COLOR=#003366]UnsavoryCharacter,
"...when in fact addiction is a weakness. "

Congrats on your ability to stay clean and sober. Everyday is a miracle when "WE" stay sober.

Three things:

1) I am a recovering alcoholic of 7 years.

2) I am a nurse of 7 years.

3) I live in Kentucky

Now the statement above that I have quoted is 100% inaccurate (sorry to the poster of that comment).

Historically people in recovery have the strongest wills, and are generally very strong people. That is part of the problem with addiction, addicts are too strong willed. There is no weakness of character involved. Most people in recovery have survived things that a "normal" person would not.

So now that I've cleared that up, I'll move on to tell you don't give up hope. The experience that you will glean from your recovery can and will be invaluable at one time or another to a patient you treat down the line.

I have personally experienced this with patients and then ran into them at meetings for them to tell me thank you for saving their lives.

Now I quickly tell them it wasn't me it was my Higher Power, who I believe is God. Humility is the key to successful recovery and integration back into your nursing career.

If you need someone that shares your experience you can contact me at anytime my email is listed on my profile.

Great job, I'm proud of you!

banterings · Oct 10, 2014

Veronica Cheney,

I believe that you misunderstood me. I never said that the OP was weak, I said that the addiction is a weakness.

Let me put it in perspective. Consider another negative trait seen among people: stupidity. (I am NOT implying that you, anyone here, or addicts possess this trait. This is an example.)

Can you say stupidity is a strength? No. It can be the result of a strong will. That strong will is referred to as "stubbornness" when it hinders our ability to see things for what they are. Stubbornness is a strong will worn as "horse blinders." Stupidity is a weakness that interferes with normal life. Stupidity is believing and acting in an illogical way based on a false perception of what is true. Stubbornness could be one of many causes of stupidity.

Standing up to do what is right is considered a strength. That can be a result of a strong will. We call that strong will "courage" or "fortitude." This demonstrates that there is a situational element too. This also explains how that strong will that chases the addiction can be used to overcome it.

Perhaps what makes addiction so hard to overcome is that it is a fight with yourself. The is a law in physics that applies to many disciplines (economics, sociology, etc.); "a body at rest wants to stay at rest, a body in motion wants to stay in motion." Simply put, it is harder to change. So this means that the "addict self" has a slight advantage over the "clean self." Through your Higher Power, and with the support of your family, friends, therapists, sponsor, group, etc. the "clean self" can then overcome the "addict self" and the addiction.

I am not disputing what you have experienced, I am trying to clarify my point. Then again, I have never had to deal with any of my own addictions, but have had to deal with someone-close-to-me's addiction and recovery.

Congratulations to you on 7 years. You stay strong too.

Veronica Cheney · Oct 13, 2014

Veronica Cheney,
I believe that you misunderstood me. I never said that the OP was weak, I said that the addiction is a weakness...
...I am not disputing what you have experienced, I am trying to clarify my point. Then again, I have never had to deal with any of my own addictions, but have had to deal with someone-close-to-me's addiction and recovery.

I appreciate your wonderful posts, however, I still wholeheartedly disagree with you and that is based on significant research I myself have done on the subject, and not to mention entire medical communities. I did not misunderstand you at all, you've stated twice now that addiction is a weakness.

The phrase "strong will" indicates a character trait as you've nicely outlined in your last post. Stating that addiction is a "weakness" or a "character trait" is stating that this well documented and researched psychological and physical disease is based on a character trait and is minimizing the severity of the disease/condition.

Which then only contributes to the ignorance of the 1930s when addiction was considered a character flaw or weakness of moral constitution. This ignorance of decades passed has only contributed to the societal view that alcoholism and/or addiction is entirely within the control of the individual and therefore addiction still has a huge nasty stigma associated with it.

The definition of addiction provided by the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM), states the following:

"Definition of Addiction Medicine (Short Version):

Addiction is a primary, chronic disease of brain reward, motivation, memory and related circuitry. Dysfunction in these circuits leads to characteristic biological, psychological, social and spiritual manifestations. This is reflected in an individual pathologically pursuing reward and/or relief by substance use and other behaviors.

Addiction is characterized by inability to consistently abstain, impairment in behavioral control, craving, diminished recognition of significant problems with one's behaviors and interpersonal relationships, and a dysfunctional emotional response. Like other chronic diseases, addiction often involves cycles of relapse and remission. Without treatment or engagement in recovery activities, addiction is progressive and can result in disability or premature death."

According to Psychology Today,

"When referring to any kind of addiction, it is important to recognize that its cause is not simply a search for pleasure and that addiction has nothing to do with one's morality or strength of character. Experts debate whether addiction is a "disease" or a true mental illness, whether drug dependence and addiction mean the same thing, and many other aspects of addiction."

I honestly appreciate your reply/s and am in no way attempting to be argumentative at all. We could debate this topic for a long time I'm sure. I do understand what you are relating regarding traits and responsibility for said traits when they are the sole reason for an individuals behavior.

banterings · Oct 13, 2014

Veronica Cheney,

I do believe that you did misunderstand me.

I in no way believe that addiction is a character weakness (a choice that someone makes). Anyone who has people close to them dealing with addiction can see there is a physical component. Whether that is brain wiring, a physical craving/dependency, chemical imbalance/susceptibility, etc., I do not know exactly what the cause or functioning is. I am sure that those suffering it do not know either, they can only express the feelings associated with it. Even with "withdrawals" one can see a physical effect that is based in an extremely complex chemical reaction but is most easily described by the feelings experienced.

When I say it is a weakness I mean a weakness the same way asthma is a weakness to a marathon runner, the way MS is a weakness to a person living a "normal" life. Just as with these physical conditions, the person who suffers addiction did not choose it either. To think that telling an addict to stop using is like telling an asthmatic to take a deep breath.

Think of addiction similar to MS in that it will affect a person living a "normal" life. Just as with MS, there are some things that a person dealing with addiction can NOT do; like have a glass of wine with dinner, go to a "Fish" concert, etc. Just as with any other malady, making some changes a person can live a "fairly normal" (functional) life. There are always the "pitfalls" that one must be aware of. Like any other physical malady, MS for example, if not kept in check can lead to death.

I am not always the most eloquent with words (one of my weaknesses), and I hope that this better clarifies my position. Knowing this, I realize that I may have to restate my ideas multiple times to be fully understood.

Twoyearnurse · Oct 13, 2014

I think I get what you are saying, however, illness and disease are not "weakness", they are simply just diseases. I can go anywhere, do anything, so long as I stay away from drinking and drugging. I will always be an addict, I will always be an alcoholic. Provided I take the proper care of my illness I will be in sustained remission. It's a beautiful thing.

The person with asthma is not weak, nor has a weakness. They have a disease, a treatable one. A marathon runner who has asthma is not likely to agree with the assessment that asthma is a weakness to their chosen sport. They manage, and treat their disease in a manner in which that running becomes a possibility for them- and in fact strengthens their ability to live well.

I assure you, my life is more than "fairly normal" it is normal. Completely normal. It is my experience. Life is very relative to each individuals experience. It is how we perceive ourselves. You are on the other side of the looking glass. You are drawing from your own life and your perception of what a "normal" life looks like.

I had a patient once with no legs. Not one leg to speak of. Yet there he sat, happy and joyful about his life. I don't think he ever once mentioned that his life was close to normal. I think from his perspective his life was very normal. It's not easy, but we should all be so lucky to learn to see the world through each others eyes. Empathy is deeply rooted in this concept.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Oct 13, 2014

Addiction and alcoholism are complex physical and mental illnesses---nothing more, nothing less. And dealing with them successfully is very much a strength, not a weakness. You have to be tough to be a survivor of addiction. I know because I'm a recovering alcoholic and believe me, I am not weak. Neither are any of the other members here who are fighting these illnesses.

banterings · Oct 14, 2014

Twoyearnurse and VivaLasViejas,

thank you you for for understanding my thoughts. I personally hate labels. You are right about perception; to a ten year old, 2 years is a long time (1/5 his life), to a 60 year old it is not (1/30 his life). It is perception of seeing 10 years versus living 60 years.

Normal is boring. I once asked God that my life never be boring, he answered that prayer.

Let us not forget the most point here, there is hope and support for the OP and all those dealing with addiction as demonstrated by all those who have overcome addiction.

As as I said I have never dealt with an addiction (at least that I know of) but have some people close to me who have. So I defer to you....