I self reported and about to do cando

Nurses Recovery

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I am about to enter the cando program, as I have an appt with the state board of az tomorrow... I am scared. I don't know what to do. I self reported myself. I am so sick to my stomach. I cant stop crying and I feel very depressed. I am so angry and myself and really feel as if I cant move on from this. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Specializes in ER/ICU.

I have been in the CANDO program about 1.5 years. There are a ton of hoops to jump thru but it's doable! The best places for jobs are Iasis. They are CANDO friendly. Banner not so much. It I know nurses in the program that do work at Banner. Keep your head up. It is depressing and demoralizing but it can be done.

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It takes that long to complete? I wanted so bad to travel and get out of Arizona. I am sick of this place, and I messed it up for myself. I have 3 weeks left of my BSN. I keep thinking this is a bad dream and Ill wake up.

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Specializes in ER/ICU.

It's a 3 year program! I am about 1/2 way thru. It's been a struggle but it has gone fairly quick. I wanted to travel also. Seems my life has been put on hold.

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Hello,

I have been a nurse 40 years and 30plus years in Arizona. I have worked with numerous RNs who had to enter the CANDO program.

One was the best nurse I ever worked with and something just happened that they got involved in narcs and went down the wrong path. Fortunately the CANDO program was the best thing that ever happened to them. This person now holds meetings with other people that are going through what they went through. They are now a very successful nurse back doing what they love.

Another RN I had worked with had an alcohol problem most of her adult life. She entered the CANDO program and was also successful in their career.

A third RN who was a new grad was not so fortunate. They went through the entire CANDO program stayed cleaned and the first night that they were allowed to give NARCs again they chose to steal the drugs again and was caught and then they refused to self report and left nursing for good.

All you have to do is tell yourself that you are the most important person and that you can do it. You just follow the program and you will be successful. You will find a job as an RN. Hang in there. Janet

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Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
Jxo83 said:
You have really given me hope. Thank you. I had an appt with the board today, they called me and rescheduled for next Tuesday. I just pray I will be okay and my life and career isn't over. Thank you so very much. & you can do it too

Your life and career are not over. You have a tough road ahead of you but it can be done. I personally wouldn't look for work right now as your contract will most likely require some kind of substance abuse treatment and they will want that to be your first priority, in most cases the programs usually suspend your practice for 90 days to 9 months as they will require a certain number of mandated AA/NA meetings as well as a set number of clean UDS as evidence of sobriety. Still if you are told it might be months before you are required to start you could keep working and save as much money as possible against the time when you will not be permitted to work.

Hppy

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Best of luck! I got clean and sober as a young waitress and dodged a lot of bullets including not getting a DUI by the grace of God. I did not use opiates but I have never taken anything for granted, I could have fallen in love with anything that altered my mood. I still love 12-step and get to a couple of meetings a week as I never want to forget where I came from. From what those with more direct experience are saying it sounds as if there are a lot of job opportunities which don't involve working around narcotics, xo fellow nurse in recovery :-)

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Thank you. I find out the results of my stupid decisions on Tuesday. I have an appt with the state board. So I hope I can just get this started. I had a phone interview with a dialysis clinic and they said interviews are after thanksgiving. Fingers crossed. Thank you all for your support.

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I think what's hard too, people keep messaging me from work asking what happened & I just don't want to discuss it. I'm not ready. I'm still so sad inside and embarrassed.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Women's Health, LTC.

The co-workers are curious. Just ignore the messages and they will go away. Keep your head up and in the game. Good luck with your board appointment and let us know how it goes.

I would keep things quiet. Nursing is a small community and gossip is a killer!

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Specializes in ICU; Telephone Triage Nurse.

I completed the CANDO program in AZ (1994-97) when most of you all were watching Blue's Clues and Sesame Street. Obviously it's changed a bit, and most people didn't have home computers back then either. But one thing I can say is that all the feelings you described are perfectly normal for the situation.

The newness of your current circumstances can be a bit overwhelming at first, that's only natural. In time you will get used to your new responsibilities, and life will go on. And 3 years may seem like an eternity at first, but it's not. It will be over before you know it.

Being in a diversion option program isn't fun, but then again when you consider the alternatives it's not so bad. As other's have said there are the T's to cross, the I's to dot, and hoops aplenty to jump through - but when you consider what we did in order to get through nursing school it's completely doable.

You are still the same wonderful, worthy person and excellent nurse you were before all this came crashing down (because isn't that what active addiction eventually does at some point?). A wise friend once told me we all have our crosses to bear in life - for some of us it's addiction to substance X, for others it's something else. My point is you are not anything less due to this experience, but in time you have the potential to be so much more.

And now you have the chance to be free - to no longer be on your knees to addiction, obeying and bowing to your Master. You can now break that bondage that held you shackled and tethered so firmly in place - stronger than any iron or steel chains, no matter how much you struggled to break lose. Now YOU call the shots.

If you follow the rules, then when you get the paperwork releasing you from the program your time spent in CANDO is wiped clean from your record. Your nursing license will be the same as it was prior to self reporting. No one will ever know unless you tell them if you move on.

You can do this! You will do this. I believe in you!

Huge momma hugs my friend.

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Specializes in ICU; Telephone Triage Nurse.
I think what's hard too, people keep messaging me from work asking what happened & I just don't want to discuss it. I'm not ready. I'm still so sad inside and embarrassed.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but some people can be ghouls. Of course, those are the acquaintances in our life, not our real friends.

Just respond with, "Thank you for your concern ... yes I'm doing fine, thank you so much for asking" (to give them the hint that it is transparent they are merely gossip mongering, and not being considerate of your delicate feelings) - or don't respond at all. They wouldn't appreciate being hounded either in the same situation. For God's sake - it's private.

Thankfully when it happened to me there was no such thing as cellphones, or instant messaging. In this case not being so connected it definitely better. It's easier to respect privacy when it's not so easy to contact someone.

Hold your head up high - you have nothing to be ashamed of. You are certainly not in the minority. Consider how many people are still undercover? People with so many skeletons in their own closets that they themselves can't even open their own mouths without a bone flying out? You now have nothing to hide.

(((And another big momma hug to you))).

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I finally met with the main person of Cando. ... and boy is it a lot. Oh my gosh. I mean, I know I have to do it, and I will. But jeez. I am not a drinker, however I do enjoy that 1 glass of wine on Christmas day. I didn't dare ask. Am I allowed to have 1? Since I am in school for 2 more weeks, in her way of not saying it, but telling me sign up for the program after school That way I don't have to also tell my school. I have looked up NA programs, and now I need to find an IOP program. I also asked if my work reported me, and they still haven't. Does that mean, they wont or never planned on it, and in their own way made me do it...?

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