Hi everyone- thanks for starting this thread-
I hope some of you with the combined wisdom of Nursing & sobriety can help me out!
My brother is an alcoholic (one of many both active and recovered in my family) just got his second DUI this week. Had a crash - no one hurt - Lost his license, car is totaled, will probably lose his job since he had to drive a lot.
I've been around alcoholics all my life. My Dad got sober when I was a teenager - that was an amazing thing to experience. I have three brothers who are alcoholics (one recovered, 2 active). I do pretty well most of the time - keeping the focus on my own problems, on the things I can change. I've gone to AlAnon for years. I work my program.
When I talk to him, I know I can't harp on his drinking, or enable him by "helping "out" in any way.
It's just so HARD to live with the fact that : he will die of this disease, or he will hurt, maim, paralyze, kill another person or himself while driving. It is just next to impossible to accept these possibilities. And yet I have to because that is the reality.
So, as the sister/daughter of alcoholics I just have these moments of tremendous anxiety, fear, and sadness...and it is hard to handle.
But literally what do I say to him?
Let him know I love him and that I hope he gets sober now.
And then what? Just talk about the weather? The election? The movies? It all just seems so stupid. Yet I want to maintain a warm relationship with him.
I love him so much - we have so many terrific memories together and he is a gentle and sweet soul.
His alcoholism is always right there - big 'ol elephant - and sometimes I am just so p.o.'d that I have to cope with alcoholism/alcoholics that I just want to isolate myself...
I'm re-reading this - I know it sounds kinda lame and vague!
But it's good to put it out there...
any thoughts are welcome and appreciated.