And you think it can't get worse

Nurses Recovery

Published

14 months into my five year contract and I just got "randomly" assigned today to a NAIL drug test. Yes. NAILS.

No dilutes ever. No positives ever.

Kind of curious how this is gonna go down considering I'm a life long nail biter and I did not realize that as part of my contract was that I had to swear off nail biting. I have no finger or toe nails to really cut!

They are also testing me for naltrexone as part of the nail test drug profile they said..which I already have to have witnessed when I take regardless.

I'm so over this crap.

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Women's Health, LTC.

So sorry. That is crazy. It seems like maybe a money grab?!? It would seem since you have always been negative, not sure what they can further prove with a nail test. Just wanting to keep you on your toes? I don't know.

Keep us updated and breathe. This will pass.

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So sorry. That is crazy. It seems like maybe a money grab?!? It would seem since you have always been negative, not sure what they can further prove with a nail test. Just wanting to keep you on your toes? I don't know.

Keep us updated and breathe. This will pass.

Haha! Keep me on my "toes"...nice pun!

Some poor scrub at the lab will have to attempt cut my nasty toenails in about 30 minutes, since my fingernails don't exist! I have a chronic fungal toenail infection (super gross, I know), so I keep them very short. I feel bad for the person who has to play with my feet and attempt to dig out some salvagable nail from my toes today.

I mean, I have nothing to hide, so they can knock themselves out. And for those who are curious, they apparently can test up to a year back with toenail samples, 6 months with fingernails.

But if I get formally punished for not having enough sample thanks to having close trimmed toe nails (due to fungus) and bitten finger nails, they are going to get to watch my sanity completely blow to smitherines and then I won't even need my license at all, since my mind, sanity, and will to live will officially be gone!

Shake my head...

Well, I'm off for my #worstpedicureever...

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Women's Health, LTC.

HAHAHA!

Take some lotion/oils and ask for a massage, then whip out a bottle of nail polish, and say, "hey, while you are down there, mind touching them up for me?"

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Specializes in OR.

I wonder if when you wind up with a nasty infection from them having to dig for toenail clippings and when that infection gets into the bone and turns into osteomyelitis and has to be debrided and you need massivly expensive antibiotics etc....will Affinity and thier ilk pay the bills for that because they "randomly" ordered a needless and inappropriate test? I doubt it.

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So, that's done. Three hour wait to start with. 30 minutes to do. My toe nails had to be trimmed to as close to the skin as possible, which translated to ripping part of a few of them right on the skin. So now they hurt a little bit. And they look like doody.

Apparently, nails grow up and out, so the drug is distributed across the entire length of the nail. The problem isn't so much the length as it is that they need 100 mg of nail. It's not like a hair test, where the drug use is chronological down the length; they said its distributed across the whole nail. So really,the drug use "grows" up through the thickness of the nail, not down the length. I learned something today that I never wanted to know.

But since this was done at an urgent care, they didn't have a mini scale to weigh the clippings, so if there isn't enough, the lab will reject it and I'll have to repeat the test when my nubs grow out.

I never thought that staying sober would be the easiest part of this whole thing. But honestly, it is. I'm just left to wonder, what if I hadn't been off work today? How could I have managed 4 hours away from work to get this done? Just one more thing to worry about.

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What stupidity!!!

You have been subject to random drug tests for a period of time. Aren't they supposed to insure your sobriety. Now they want a test on top of that to confirm months of sobriety on top of the random tests which already have that period covered. This is more over-functioning nursey-poo BS. If they have and want to use a long term test to confirm sobriety then I'm all for it. However, drop the other nonsense. Drop the idiotic meetings and nurse support chit-chat sessions about garbage. Drop the redundant random tests. At the end of the day isn't sobriety all that matters? If a few scheduled tests a year would do that then fine. The rest of the 12 step drivel can get flushed with the rest of life's fecal matter

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Specializes in OR.
At the end of the day isn't sobriety all that matters? If a few scheduled tests a year would do that then fine. The rest of the 12 step drivel can get flushed with the rest of life's fecal matter

But, but....there's no money in that. It would also toss out the fear factor. Because terror is a great way to force someone to stay sober, right? And we all know sobriety is irrelevant in all of this.

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But, but....there's no money in that. It would also toss out the fear factor. Because terror is a great way to force someone to stay sober, right? And we all know sobriety is irrelevant in all of this.

So true!!! Less cash for the recovery industry and less ability to torture for the BONs. Where the hell is the fun in that???

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Kind of curious how this is gonna go down considering I'm a life long nail biter and I did not realize that as part of my contract was that I had to swear off nail biting. I have no finger or toe nails to really cut!

OMG, you bite your toenails?!?!?!?!

Some poor scrub at the lab will have to attempt cut my nasty toenails in about 30 minutes, since my fingernails don't exist! I have a chronic fungal toenail infection (super gross, I know), so I keep them very short.I feel bad for the person who has to play with my feet and attempt to dig out some salvagable nail from my toes today.

Oh, thank goodness. You scared me there for a minute. ;)

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OMG, you bite your toenails?!?!?!?!

Oh, thank goodness. You scared me there for a minute. ;)

Hahaha, no toenail biting! Like I said, a fungus I caught from a shoddy pedicure place that I can't shake because my meds interact with the systemic fungal pill...so I'm stuck with useless topical treatments. I just keep them super short to try to help things out.

I just hope that they dug enough toenail out to make 100 mg of toenail sample that's needed. Otherwise, I have to do it again.

Wow. That's something I never thought I would be saying! Only in monitoring....

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Specializes in Geriatrics, Dialysis.

Learn something new every day I guess. I'd never before even heard of nail testing. Kind of gross, isn't it? Sucks for you, but I also can't help but feel a little bad for the people that are expected to collect these samples. Maybe when the BON mandates these kinds of ridiculous tests they should also supply the personnel to perform the testing.

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