I've come to realize (well, I have known for a while but...) that I am NOT a leader. I understand that some people are natural leaders...for better or worse. What I mean by that I have seen people who take on a leadership role, but have no idea what they are doing...but just doing something
, because that's what comes naturally.
Anyway, my issue is that I hate the fact that I am not a natural born leader. I've worked as a floor nurse for 2 years now and have called or witnessed "crisis" situations where Codes or RR are called...and I've had a couple recently. The latest was a Code Red--my first experience as one and although I saw the flame, my mind went dumb and I didn't know what to do. Thankfully, the nurse who actually was the first to witness it put it out before it got any worse. The Code was called just as soon as the fire was put out and a ****load of people came and tried to squeeze in to help. Too many people in a small room and I just backed out and let the rest of them deal with the situation. There was even one nurse who ran from a completely different department and helped more than I did (since I actually work on that floor). All I did was close a couple of pt's rooms nearby, but other than that I pretty much just stayed and manned the station with a couple other people (non-nursing).
After the situation abated, administration and whomever congratulated everyone for doing a great job, etc. etc. I felt terrible and felt I should not be included in that group.
This also takes me back to a previous situation I had in which I called RR for a pt of mine. I felt bad that I don't think I did much either. I kept second guessing myself (which I do A LOT, even though I'm quite sure I KNOW what to do) and I understand there is no time for that in a crisis situation. I think having undergone these situations, I'll be more prepared for next time, but I wonder if I'll be able to take a stance and be assured of myself and my abilities...(And as a side note, I've never done CPR on a pt yet, and the idea does scare me...)
What does it for you? How do you become a leader as a nurse? Does it come natural to you? Do you take initiative? What can I do to become a better leader or gain leadership skills in a crisis situation?