Why so closed minded? WHY?

[alwaysthere]

Worked with a male nurse the other night. This nurse is agency and has worked at our facility for some time. He always gives good pt care and is helpful to the aides and other nurses. As I took V.S. One pt. starts going OMG a male nurse! Why do the let guys do this? Dosent he realize we're female!...etc...etc..etc.

This is absolutely one of the most closed minded attitudes I have the misfortune of dealing with...and it happens time and again. Well it ended up that everytime he had to go into the room i had to go with him. And to his credit he endured the stuff she said to his face !...me on the other hand ..I had to duck outside for a few minutes and unclench my teeth... Why is it acceptable for a woman to see a male doctor, a male pt to been seen by a female doc or to be cared for by a female Nurse/Aide.? and yet not acceptable for a female to receive care from a licensed PROFESSIONAL who happens to be male? GRRR

P.S. today i was a pt. had seen the NP about the prob before and was made to feel as if she really didnt have enough time to be bothering with me. (not saying that all are like this,Ive heard NP's are wonderful) anyways saw the MD today he TALKED with me and examined me more than she had and actually got some history on me etc. generally treated me like a human. had to get ex-ray etc. the female tech made me feel like i was going through a proccesor...at that point i had already had a bad enough day and didnt need it getting worse. well the guy actually doing the films talked with me held my hand was so gentle and generally it felt like he cared. i felt sorta human again after that ....well we will see what P.T. brings. Tis truly better to give than to receive!

:chuckle

Kudos to all you wonderful and caring Nurses AIdes and Techs,no matter how your chromesomes are arranged!:kiss

[MQ Edna]

Originally posted by kmchugh

Our job is to provide the best possible care for our patients, and if that means assigning only female nurses to Mrs Smith because she is uncomfortable with male nurses, then we assign only female nurses to her. Although it ain't always the case, the birth of a baby should be as joyful an experience as we can make it, and if that includes no male nurses, then we have no right to interfere with what the patient needs to meet her expectations.

If a woman in labor (or any one else) wishes to have a female nurse, that is their right. I don't care if you call it discrimination, or anything else. It is the patient's right. Second, we must all remember that as nurses, our attitudes and preconceived notions will affect those who work around us. We must not discriminate against any nurse for any reason, save professional ability. You never know how your actions, good or bad, may affect a student or fellow nurse.

Kevin McHugh

I've been hanging out as a visitor awhile. but had to repond here. I'm an ICU nurse and Kev's my name too. (good name dude)

Great points here Kevin. I wonder about a guy who needs to work women's services anyway. What are they trying to prove?

Why not go to a more comfortable setting rather than stay there...is it just to prove their own point or advance their own agenda? Got to wonder.

Bet the nurses who are warning of a male nurse there have been getting flack for the guy even being there at all. Women (and I'm not bashing da girls here)tend to say say things to other women they wouldn't to the male. They do it with docs too. Patients seem to find it easier to complain to a female nurse rather than 'bother' the guy...doc or nurse. Don't know why.

OB rotation in school was pretty cool. The instructors excused us from the personal care and hey, I was just as glad. Too much room for accusations, and I could see I made the ladies uncomfortable for the most part. Why would I push myself into that kind of experience? Not me.

[NMAguiar]

L&D would obviously be the most sensitive area as far as women being "uncomfortable" with male nurses, although I really can't explain why.

As far as gender scheduling per the patient's preference, would you schedule a white nurse if a patient said they didn't want a black RN? How about an Asian caretaker?

Of course if your facility has protocols relating to patient satisfaction that address this, so be it. But isn't part of our job education?

[mark_LD_RN]

well cranky old nurse, you seem the be very misguided. i have no agenda to promote other than bieng treated fairly. i always let my patients choose if i can be their nurse i always introduce my self than ask if it is ok if i am their nurse. i got into ob because of patients and instructors request that i do it. i originally planned to become a crna. but once i tried this i truely loved it. the response from my patients has been overwhelming. and so has the majority of nurses i work with. i am told some compliment daily from the staff i am woith now. the only problem i ever had was a couple of doctors but they got over it.

nurses are professionals just like obgyns are. so why do you think it is ok the be a male ob/gyn and not ok to be a male ob/gyn nurse.? there is the old stereo typing again.

my patients are more than comfortable with me many request me on return visits, and as far as the personal care issue goes i let them choose either i can do it or i can get a female tech to do it for them, never had one refuse my care. i think it is mostly how one presents them self, if you are confident and professional they will respect you and be very relaxed around you. one of the docs that had issues with me came to me resently and appologized we now work together with out a problem. his change of attitude came about because several of his patients went back to him and told him how good the care was i provided them.

the real issue that is being talked about here is not the patients right . but discrimination against male nurses by coworkers and administration. i have always said the patient has a right to choose if i can be their nurse. administration and othernurses are trying to promote there agendas by discriminating against males. any form of discrimination is wrong and should not be tolerated.

ex130load- i don't like others to introduce me, i prefer to do it myself, so i can see if they are uncomfortable and ask their permission.and by the way i when i worked other areas i also asked my male patients if i could be their nurse. and the only patients ever to refuse my care were males this has only happened 2 times in my carreer so far.

nurses just need to act professional and support each other. don;t you think the backstabbing and discrimination has gone on long enough?

oh yes, kevin i do not need to work in ob, i have worked in every area of nursing just about, i do this because i am very good at it and my patients love me, if they did not i would go on to do other things and would probably pursue my crna. so wonder all you like, i am sorry you lack the confidence and or professionallism to not have to wonder and to be afraid to care for female patients.

[NMAguiar]

Geez, mark_LD_RN, lite'in up will 'ya! :chair:

[mark_LD_RN]

that seems pretty light to me! I am sorry you see it differently. But his implied message with statements like " just have too wonder why a male has to work OB". is really irritating to me. so is the statement that i am trying to promote an agenda. I became a nurses because i wanted to. I work L&D because I enjoy it and my patients do also. and in the opinion of my patients and many of my coworkers i am one of the best L&D/ob nurses around. thats why i do it and for no other reason. nurses should support each other,not make unprofessional insinuations. does he question why a male wants to be a ob DOC? that seems to be accepted and expected. but oh my god a "male" OB nurse ,how can that be.if he is uncomfortable with it that is his perrogative, but don't be impling anything else.

[MQ Edna]

Go ahead and get irritated. I just call things like I see it. No misguided feelings or lack of confidence here. None at all.

[mark_LD_RN]

maybe you need glasses :). or just an open mind.

[hollybear]

gee Crankyold nurse, do you not feel as nurses are professionals? why should it be an issue, i work with many male nurses and have found them to be very kind caring and actually prefer them.

you really should not infer that there is something wrong with a male working OB. there is nothing wrong with it . no different than female nurses doing personal care on males. for crying out loud, you'll should be supportive, noit try to cut your fellow nurses down.

any way keep up the good work mark I am sure your patients appreciate you. You can be my nurse anytime!

[Dayray, RN]

kmchugh

Very good points! I agree that it is the patient's right to refuse care no matter what their reasons. Even if they are wrong and no matter how distasteful there reasons it's their body.

I still place "preference" for male or female providers in the same category as "preference" of race but its their choice.

[Dayray, RN]

Originally posted by Crankyoldnurse

I wonder about a guy who needs to work women's services anyway.

What exactly do you wonder?

is it just to prove their own point or advance their own agenda?

What point could I possibly prove by working in OB?

As far as advancing my own agenda, I will admit to that. I very much want to help people especially young families and teen parents. Working in this area allows me to do that. My agenda is to help people and make a difference so yes I do it to advance my own agenda.

Bet the nurses who are warning of a male nurse there have been getting flack for the guy even being there at all.

Ill take that bet. When I first started in OB the other nurses didn't like me much and ran to tell my managers anything I did wrong. One of the conditions I made when going to the floor was that my managers tell me what kind of feed back they got. not a single patient has mentioned anything about my gender except to complement me.

I could see I made the ladies uncomfortable for the most part.

One thing I have learned from doing what I do, is that people (especially women) are able to sense a persons intentions. perhaps this was the reason for their discomfort with you.

Why not go to a more comfortable setting rather than stay there

I bet the same thing was said of the people who refused to sit in the back of the bus. You may not like us there but the reason it is uncomfortable is you and not us. I am actually very at ease with my patients. comments and looks from other nurses do make me uncomfortable however.

I was offered positions in ER and ICU (the domain of male nurses) I have a back ground in critical care and EMS. I enjoyed the technical aspect of ICU but hated the fact that my patients were asleep and found it depressing to keep people alive who begged to be allowed t die.

ER is fun but I feel that I can do more for my patient in OB.

I'm not knocking these areas I have allot of friends in them and I am glad to know there are capable people there.

We are different kinds of nurses you and I Crankieoldnurse. You enjoy working in critical care and helping patients with complicated medical situations. I enjoy the helping patients with social issues and teaching them to care for their babes.

I'm sorry this makes you uncomfortable but I don't know why you feel the need to make disparaging remarks about me or my motives.

[psychonurse]

Man this post got a little heated at times.... I haven't been on the board for a couple of days and this all happened. Interesting. I have had both male and female doctors in my life and I was very suprised how hard nosed some female GYN doctors can be. I am 46 years old, 8 years from retiring and my SO and I have been against having children the whole time we have been together. I have been having lots of bleeding problems the last couple of years and my mother and another maternal aunt died of ovarian cancer. The last time I went to my female doctor when I had just got over a 15 day period that was very horifice I asked her about having a hyst and she said "Don't you think that you have to suffer a little like all women." :eek: Well I went to a male Gyn and when I told him my history and my symptoms, he has me scheduled for a hyst next week. When I walked out of his office the first time I told him thank you because before that I thought I was going crazy and maybe there wasn't that much wrong with me. Most of the time I have gotten more sympathy from male than female doctors.

Having been a nurse for 20+ years I have seen my share of male and female nurses and there are some good and bad, no matter what sex they are. You will have one female that will sit on her a** while everyone else is running like chickens with thier heads cut off and the same with males. I have also worked with some males that even though they are behind if you go and ask them for help they will stop and help. You never know until you work with anyone for a while.

Being a patient, I don't mind having a male take care of me. In fact, I prefer males to females. They always go the extra mile for me and my family. I can remember when my mother was in the hospital the last time, one of the nurses that took care of her when she first had her stroke was so great, he was in there every 15 or 20 minutes to check on her and always made sure that she was turned every two hours. That was better than some of the females that took care of her. This male nurse also went and visited her when they moved her to another unit. And when my mother was dying he asked permission to be there and I was glad to have him. So my hats off to all male nurses.....I hope that I work with many more before my career ends. :balloons:

[hollybear]

psycho nurse i have found the same to be true, i much prefer male obs, and male nurses.