Uncomfortable from Sexual Remarks from Patient - page 3
by tinkywinky 5,904 Views | 31 Comments
I just basically want to vent. I work in a LTC facility as a wound care RN. There is one patient in his 60's with chronic wounds to his legs from PVD. He sits in his electric w/c in his room most of the day and that is where I do... Read More
- 1Jan 28, '13 by ktwlpnQUOTE<<<I have to endure comments about my chest every so often (a few moths ago a patient had some pajama bottoms missing and looked at me and said "they might be hiding in her bosom!" the CNAs got a big kick out of that and I wanted to melt into the ground) but usually it doesn't get to be too much of a problem. Thanks for the insight. >>> It sounds like you need to educate your staff and the resident.
- 2Jan 28, '13 by **12XY**Always address sexual remarks immediately and put the brakes on them. Tell them the first time an inappropriate comment leaves their mouth that you do not appreciate it and to please refrain from this or you will have to report the incident and a different nurse will be assigned. With all sexual harrassement you first have to let the perp know that you have said "no" to this, 2nd time you are done with them and management takes over the issue.
- 0Jan 28, '13 by anotheroneI might say something lame like, " that is very inappropriate, stop!" i work in acute care so what i do is get a different assignment for the next day, ignore it and go in the room only when necessary. i have also brought in a male aide if we have one whenever i go in the room . suprisingly that actually does usually help. although one time the pt tgen started making sexual remarks to the aide too. i guess in acute care it is easier to deal with since pts are there less time
- 4Jan 29, '13 by bballhausAs a male, especially one who is particularly fond of breasts, I can understand the appeal of a woman's chest, regardless of size. However, what this patient is doing is completely inappropriate and wrong. What he has said to you, particularly about not getting him in trouble, indicates that he is aware of this fact. If an elderly woman made such comments to me under similar circumstances, I would be feeling the same way that you have described. While I might be able to forgive inappropriate looks, comments, and hopefully not grabbing, coming from an elderly woman who is truly unable to control herself due to severe mental problems, I would report a woman who is aware that she is doing something wrong and is capable of restraining herself.
As for your husband's comment, my guess is that he meant it as a compliment to you. However, I strongly disagree with giving this patient a free pass, even if it is true that harassing the voluptuous nurses is his only source of joy. You are a nurse, not an exotic dancer (no disrespect to exotic dancers, bless their hearts). Until his mind disintegrates, he must content himself like other males by giving a beautiful woman a half-second look when she is not looking, so he does not make her uncomfortable, and using all of his willpower to avoid looking down a woman's shirt when she bends over, as a respectful man should, no matter how amply-endowed she might be. Also, a man should refrain from making any comments about a woman's appearance, unless they are respectful and not offensive or creepy (except if she has specifically told you that she loves creepy and/or offensive remarks). This is true for all interactions, not just patient and nurse. Since this patient already went way past the line of acceptable behavior, I suggest that you request to not be the one who takes care of him anymore.
When I had my kidney surgeries and eventual removal, I did not trust in my ability to come off as not creepy, so I just gave the nurses, whatever their age or cup-size, a truly grateful smile for taking care of me. A man might get an unexpected "view" once in a while that he cannot help but notice, despite his best intentions to never make a woman uncomfortable by being the kind of jerk who ogles women. However, to deliberately take advantage of a woman who is tending to your health is just plain offensive.
- 4Jan 29, '13 by canoeheadAs you get older and more self assured those situations will get easier to handle. You won't feel as assaulted, it'll be "what a jerk!" and you move on. Any verbal innuendo and I usually say "I don't even want to hear about it," with some force. Exposure- they must cover up before you will enter the room.
Report his behavior, not just for you, but for the less assertive person who needs your back up when she reports it. As a group you are stronger. It'll make others feel better to know they are not the only one. That's proof that his tiresome behavior is not their fault.