Uncomfortable from Sexual Remarks from Patient

Nurses Relations

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I just basically want to vent. I work in a LTC facility as a wound care RN. There is one patient in his 60's with chronic wounds to his legs from PVD. He sits in his electric w/c in his room most of the day and that is where I do his wound care. He has made subtle remarks about my chest in the past but the other day he came out and asked if he could ask me a personal question. I said sure. He said, "now you won't get offended and turn me in or anything, will you?" Being rather easy going most of the time I said no. So he asked, "what size are you, up there?"

I just laughed and said I didn't know. Then he went on to talk about how he liked it when I bent over in front of him to wrap his legs and my shirt hung down and he could see my breasts. Then he added, "it really turns me on."

I wanted to barf, but I just laughed it off, thinking that would be the end of it. No. Every day since then he has made some reference to my "rack" or some other demeaning name and it has made me so self-consious I dread going in the room. I haven't told anyone else because it is so embarrassing. Now, I truly know how people feel when they are referred to like they are a piece of meat. It also affects the job I'm doing on him. Today he expressed disappointment that I wasn't going to show him "my stuff" and all I could think about was hurrying up and finishing and getting out of that room and as a result I missed covering one of the sores on his legs and I just couldn't bring myself to go back in there. I will thankfully have my partner with me tomorrow, but yuck. Dirty old man. I was thinking of saying to him there were enough cute little nurse aides here for him to feast his eyes on instead of a saggy old woman with 5 kids but I guess I would just be feeding his disgusting behavior if I did.

My husband was no help. He just said, poor old man, it's probably the only thrill he gets in life (so this will probably be my husband when he gets to the nursing home :barf02: )

I'm sure this falls in the category of sexual harrassment, but I would be even more embarrassed bringing attention to myself over it.

Just another thing nurses have to put up with in this world. I would be interested in hearing other accounts of inappropriate patient behavior toward nurses.

You could tell him you need to do a quick testicular exam on him. Bring pliers.

i'm kind of for the testicle-pliers thing, to be honest.

As a male, especially one who is particularly fond of breasts, I can understand the appeal of a woman's chest, regardless of size. However, what this patient is doing is completely inappropriate and wrong. What he has said to you, particularly about not getting him in trouble, indicates that he is aware of this fact. If an elderly woman made such comments to me under similar circumstances, I would be feeling the same way that you have described. While I might be able to forgive inappropriate looks, comments, and hopefully not grabbing, coming from an elderly woman who is truly unable to control herself due to severe mental problems, I would report a woman who is aware that she is doing something wrong and is capable of restraining herself.

As for your husband's comment, my guess is that he meant it as a compliment to you. However, I strongly disagree with giving this patient a free pass, even if it is true that harassing the voluptuous nurses is his only source of joy. You are a nurse, not an exotic dancer (no disrespect to exotic dancers, bless their hearts). Until his mind disintegrates, he must content himself like other males by giving a beautiful woman a half-second look when she is not looking, so he does not make her uncomfortable, and using all of his willpower to avoid looking down a woman's shirt when she bends over, as a respectful man should, no matter how amply-endowed she might be. Also, a man should refrain from making any comments about a woman's appearance, unless they are respectful and not offensive or creepy (except if she has specifically told you that she loves creepy and/or offensive remarks). This is true for all interactions, not just patient and nurse. Since this patient already went way past the line of acceptable behavior, I suggest that you request to not be the one who takes care of him anymore.

When I had my kidney surgeries and eventual removal, I did not trust in my ability to come off as not creepy, so I just gave the nurses, whatever their age or cup-size, a truly grateful smile for taking care of me. A man might get an unexpected "view" once in a while that he cannot help but notice, despite his best intentions to never make a woman uncomfortable by being the kind of jerk who ogles women. However, to deliberately take advantage of a woman who is tending to your health is just plain offensive.

I feel for you. I have been in similar situation except the man kept rubbing his member everytime I went into his room. Finally the man was discharged and I said a little prayer that he never returns.

whoahh!Now, that's really a disgusting and awful experience!But I will never ever tolerate such behavior because it's already below the belt!

Specializes in ER.

As you get older and more self assured those situations will get easier to handle. You won't feel as assaulted, it'll be "what a jerk!" and you move on. Any verbal innuendo and I usually say "I don't even want to hear about it," with some force. Exposure- they must cover up before you will enter the room.

Report his behavior, not just for you, but for the less assertive person who needs your back up when she reports it. As a group you are stronger. It'll make others feel better to know they are not the only one. That's proof that his tiresome behavior is not their fault.

whoahh!Now, that's really a disgusting and awful experience!But I will never ever tolerate such behavior because it's already below the belt!
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:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:

Specializes in Peds Medical Floor.
As you get older and more self assured those situations will get easier to handle. You won't feel as assaulted, it'll be "what a jerk!" and you move on. Any verbal innuendo and I usually say "I don't even want to hear about it," with some force. Exposure- they must cover up before you will enter the room.

Report his behavior, not just for you, but for the less assertive person who needs your back up when she reports it. As a group you are stronger. It'll make others feel better to know they are not the only one. That's proof that his tiresome behavior is not their fault.

I think you are right. The older I get, the less it bothers me but I still don't put up with it. I even laugh sometimes because it's ridiculous. Not a nervous, uncomfortable laugh. An "are you for real" laugh. And then I go into my "respect me" speech.

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