Uncomfortable from Sexual Remarks from Patient - page 4

I just basically want to vent. I work in a LTC facility as a wound care RN. There is one patient in his 60's with chronic wounds to his legs from PVD. He sits in his electric w/c in his room most of... Read More

  1. Visit  bballhaus profile page
    4
    As a male, especially one who is particularly fond of breasts, I can understand the appeal of a woman's chest, regardless of size. However, what this patient is doing is completely inappropriate and wrong. What he has said to you, particularly about not getting him in trouble, indicates that he is aware of this fact. If an elderly woman made such comments to me under similar circumstances, I would be feeling the same way that you have described. While I might be able to forgive inappropriate looks, comments, and hopefully not grabbing, coming from an elderly woman who is truly unable to control herself due to severe mental problems, I would report a woman who is aware that she is doing something wrong and is capable of restraining herself.

    As for your husband's comment, my guess is that he meant it as a compliment to you. However, I strongly disagree with giving this patient a free pass, even if it is true that harassing the voluptuous nurses is his only source of joy. You are a nurse, not an exotic dancer (no disrespect to exotic dancers, bless their hearts). Until his mind disintegrates, he must content himself like other males by giving a beautiful woman a half-second look when she is not looking, so he does not make her uncomfortable, and using all of his willpower to avoid looking down a woman's shirt when she bends over, as a respectful man should, no matter how amply-endowed she might be. Also, a man should refrain from making any comments about a woman's appearance, unless they are respectful and not offensive or creepy (except if she has specifically told you that she loves creepy and/or offensive remarks). This is true for all interactions, not just patient and nurse. Since this patient already went way past the line of acceptable behavior, I suggest that you request to not be the one who takes care of him anymore.

    When I had my kidney surgeries and eventual removal, I did not trust in my ability to come off as not creepy, so I just gave the nurses, whatever their age or cup-size, a truly grateful smile for taking care of me. A man might get an unexpected "view" once in a while that he cannot help but notice, despite his best intentions to never make a woman uncomfortable by being the kind of jerk who ogles women. However, to deliberately take advantage of a woman who is tending to your health is just plain offensive.
    silverbat, DizzyLizzyNurse, NoonieRN, and 1 other like this.
  2. Visit  GloriaScarboro profile page
    0
    I feel for you. I have been in similar situation except the man kept rubbing his penis everytime I went into his room. Finally the man was discharged and I said a little prayer that he never returns.
  3. Visit  pronurse45 profile page
    0
    whoahh!Now, that's really a disgusting and awful experience!But I will never ever tolerate such behavior because it's already below the belt!
  4. Visit  canoehead profile page
    4
    As you get older and more self assured those situations will get easier to handle. You won't feel as assaulted, it'll be "what a jerk!" and you move on. Any verbal innuendo and I usually say "I don't even want to hear about it," with some force. Exposure- they must cover up before you will enter the room.

    Report his behavior, not just for you, but for the less assertive person who needs your back up when she reports it. As a group you are stronger. It'll make others feel better to know they are not the only one. That's proof that his tiresome behavior is not their fault.
  5. Visit  GrnTea profile page
    0
    Quote from pronurse45
    whoahh!Now, that's really a disgusting and awful experience!But I will never ever tolerate such behavior because it's already below the belt!
    ]


  6. Visit  DizzyLizzyNurse profile page
    1
    Quote from canoehead
    As you get older and more self assured those situations will get easier to handle. You won't feel as assaulted, it'll be "what a jerk!" and you move on. Any verbal innuendo and I usually say "I don't even want to hear about it," with some force. Exposure- they must cover up before you will enter the room.

    Report his behavior, not just for you, but for the less assertive person who needs your back up when she reports it. As a group you are stronger. It'll make others feel better to know they are not the only one. That's proof that his tiresome behavior is not their fault.
    I think you are right. The older I get, the less it bothers me but I still don't put up with it. I even laugh sometimes because it's ridiculous. Not a nervous, uncomfortable laugh. An "are you for real" laugh. And then I go into my "respect me" speech.
    anotherone likes this.

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