Transgender student nurse

[teethotamales]

Hi,

I found your site by mistake. I was just trying to find out statistics on what percentage of the nursing profession in general or in the state of California were transgender. I also saw a comment by a Practical Nurse instructor about a student nurse who is transgender. I was thrown out of my second attempt as an enrolled student in nursing school. The first nursing program was the registered nurse. I had worked hard and under stressful conditions to fulfill the prerequisites. It was an amazingly difficult survival time. I sensed not long after entering the program, actually at the time of the interview with one of the instructors, that there were disrespectful comments made about me, and it only grew worse. I was stressed out with much work and little sleep, but I was completely devastated to sense that I was not to be tolerated. I passed all my medication exams and lecture exams, but I had no one to work with for skills. I mixed up a step in assessing the abdomen, switched the listening for the next step of tapping. In vital signs I had never practiced on anyone either and had a terrible time finding the brachial pulse on anyone but myself. The instructor walked out of testing with testy comments, actually very rude. As she came back into the room I put those few moments to work and just did my own blood pressure. She would not allow it and handed me my walking papers. I cried, I sensed the time was coming, still I was devastated. I was actually destroyed. I had worked so hard to meet the requirements and once there I could not survive because staff and I would say a majority of my classmates could not tolerate me. I pulled through a great loss for me and enrolled in another college in their certified nurse assistant program - starting at the very bottom. I got it right away - the professor was nasty to me and another student always had something to interject about me personality every day in lecture. I commuted a long distance, lost sleep most nights,

worked very hard, and had to have almost photographic memory in order to pass my exams as my text arrived so late that I had a lot of catching up to do. I have passed all my exams to date, was caught up on all assignments, yet I just could not tolerate the invisibility, castigating, and avoidance. I sat at a table by myself. The past Friday everyone was matched up with a partner for vitals accept me. I tried to overcome the emotional pain of 'unworthiness, unacceptable, nonexistence, I did my own vital signs. I was in emotional pain and then some unkind remark, and I just left and cried profusely. My training as a nurse was ended because I was not able to handle what would be unethical and abusive treatment for any patient. It meant a lot to me to realize my dream of becoming a nurse. The reality of the abusiveness to me was completely ignored and I was given the responsibility of 'having a problem'. I just wondered is it possible for a transgendered individual to have any possibility of becoming a nurse. It seems that there is totally no possibility within the 50 states of the U.S. I simply wonder if there is some foreign student exchange program for nursing where I would have every chance of receiving the necessary training, but I realize I would still be unemployable in the U.S. as the discrimination is so severe it would be practically impossible but that I could look for work in another country. I don't know if anyone would know anything on the subject, but if they did I would love to hear from them so I could once again pick up from this devastation.

[rpnstudent199]

I find it pretty outrageous that people are blaming the OP and saying they are "looking for abuse" and "using the transgender issue as a scapegoat." This person has clearly been through a lot and regardless of whether you think they are too emotional, you should not be blaming the victim.

Until you live in a transgendered person's shoes you have NO right to make any comment on their experience or how they react to it. You cannot possibly compare a small comment an instructor made to the things this person has to endure not only in the classroom but throughout life.

The judgment and lack of support which some individuals have responded with greatly disappoints me. This is a forum people use to get support and guidance, not to be further ridiculed.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

I find it pretty outrageous that people are blaming the OP and saying they are "looking for abuse" and "using the transgender issue as a scapegoat." This person has clearly been through a lot and regardless of whether you think they are too emotional, you should not be blaming the victim.

Until you live in a transgendered person's shoes you have NO right to make any comment on their experience or how they react to it. You cannot possibly compare a small comment an instructor made to the things this person has to endure not only in the classroom but throughout life.

The judgment and lack of support which some individuals have responded with greatly disappoints me. This is a forum people use to get support and guidance, not to be further ridiculed.

I see no statement of support in your post.

How would you like us to support the OP? I made a statement of fact that highly emotional people will not make it in nursing school.Hoping that OP would gain some insight , use it to evaluate the failure and carry on.

[MedChica]

You speak/type with a lot of absolutes.

Always surviving...and devastated...disheartened...and 'everyone's cruel and abusive'. ???

What's really going on? I don't know what to make of this post because so many just troll about the internet. But, in case this is a cry for help:

Honey, you're transgendered. Some or many people are going to think all sorts of things about you. That's the cold, hard truth.

I'm a black woman. Every time I go to work, some resident calls me a '******'. People think all sorts of things about me.

...but you know? It is, what it is.

To answer your question, I have no idea how many transgendered nurses exist. Can't be many, though. But, I would urge you to seek counseling or find a good friend or family member and just...talk. There are support groups. Look them up. You're in California, after all. Aren't there a lot of gays in that state? Finding support from within your local community shouldn't be difficult...I'd assume?

If you're transgendered, you should be in counseling, anyhow. Overall, those within your community (LGBT) are simply more vulnerable to depression...that's why. Existing in a society where you're constantly rejected and doomed to be the different one - the odd-one-out 'square peg' - can wreak havoc on the psyche. That's the crux of it.

I empathize.

In the meantime, you're like one big walking raw nerve. Calm yourself. Don't look to this world for validation. Love yourself. Accept yourself.

[Mr. Murse]

I suspect there are a few more factors at play than the OP is sharing, either intentionally or because they're not even aware of it themselves. Either way it's a very complex issue with a lot of possible things going on.

First of all, be sure you can handle the material intellectually. You don't sound like a dumb person, and that's not what I'm saying, but it is a difficult program and it's possible that you were legitimately struggling with the material and attributed your incompetency with the material to the personal struggles you are having about being transgender. I've seen people do it in other ways, like they fail a course and blame it on something in their personal life (family, kids, finances, etc), although they studied more than most of the rest of the class. They just didn't get the material, plain and simple. It's possible you're not excelling with the material and you're blaming that shortcoming on your gender identity. I'm not saying I think this for sure, but it has to be considered.

Either way, there are a few indisputable facts about nursing that no amount of humanitarian effort or politically correct rhetoric will change. For one, you WILL be judged. By everyone. Coworkers, authorities, doctors, patient families, and most importantly by patients themselves. The OP is in a tough situation, no doubt, transgender people are in a very precarious social position right now and most of the general public do not know where they stand on the issue or how to handle it. In nursing though, no matter who you are you will be constantly observed and judged by those around you. It begins in nursing school and continues. If you are struggling with the social politics of nursing school and can't figure out how to handle it or how you personally fit in, it will be worse in the field.

Nurses have to grow thick skin or they will not survive. Feeling sorry for yourself gets you nowhere and no one wants to hear about it at work. Even the most "normal" stereotypically perfect cheerleader looking nurse is going to have patients and coworkers that treat them like crap. Being transgendered, you are going to see a different side of that because people don't know how to handle it. Most people in this country don't know a transgendered individual personally, and may have never even met one. So to have one come in the room to care for them may be intimidating, especially given that they're already in a bad situation with an often uncertain prognosis. Some people are uncomfortable with male nurses even. You will have patients refuse care from you (I have as a male nurse a few times). You will be talked about behind your back (we all are). You will have to grow a thick skin. I don't mean you have to learn to be mean and rude, but just to let things roll of your back and to continue to do your job the best you can and give the best care to those around you, including your coworkers. Caring for our coworkers is a part of the job many people don't consider.

You have a tough road ahead of you. Nursing is tough for anyone, but you do have a unique challenge. It is a challenge that can work in you favor though. Be confident, but not cocky. Be excellent at your job. Show unconditional love for those around you. Who knows, you may be a huge positive influence on many people's perception of the transgender community because you would be in the position to do so.

Lastly, be honest with yourself. You may be in for a long road of this kind of behavior. Nursing is a very social field and you will be around new people all the time, many of which will not know how to handle being around something they don't understand. You may be the one to help them understand, or maybe you're not the kind of person that has the kind of resilience to handle these kinds of situations day in and day out.

[jadelpn, LPN, EMT-B]

People who believe you to be "different" are unfortunetely everywhere. And it sucks. Out loud.

In your journey as a transgendered person, you will have the opportunity to go through an intensive amount of counseling. It is tough to come to terms with other's reactions to you. And again, that sucks. Out loud.

I strongly suggest you hook up with your local LGBT group. They are a mountain of information on education and training programs that are more open to any student, regardless of gender identification. Look them up online--amazing group of people.

You know who you are inside. That is what counts. That other's are intolerant of non-cookie-cutter people have issues that are on them, not you.

But that doesn't make it feel any better. And I am sorry that people can be mean and hateful and downright intolerant.

I think you may find that closer to cities (and I know on the east coast, we rock!! LOL) there's so many students of any configuration conceiveable that you will find your niche. And when you do, look back on this, get involved in your LGBT group, and hopefully mentor a young person who is in your shoes.

Remember, it is on them. Focus on you. Use your resources. Get tutoring, start a study group, find a friend who will let you do blood pressures until the cows come home.

You got this. All the best, and please keep us posted.

[Been there,done that, ASN, RN]

I suspect there are a few more factors at play than the OP is sharing, either intentionally or because they're not even aware of it themselves. Either way it's a very complex issue with a lot of possible things going on.

First of all, be sure you can handle the material intellectually. You don't sound like a dumb person, and that's not what I'm saying, but it is a difficult program and it's possible that you were legitimately struggling with the material and attributed your incompetency with the material to the personal struggles you are having about being transgender. I've seen people do it in other ways, like they fail a course and blame it on something in their personal life (family, kids, finances, etc), although they studied more than most of the rest of the class. They just didn't get the material, plain and simple. It's possible you're not excelling with the material and you're blaming that shortcoming on your gender identity. I'm not saying I think this for sure, but it has to be considered.

Either way, there are a few indisputable facts about nursing that no amount of humanitarian effort or politically correct rhetoric will change. For one, you WILL be judged. By everyone. Coworkers, authorities, doctors, patient families, and most importantly by patients themselves. The OP is in a tough situation, no doubt, transgender people are in a very precarious social position right now and most of the general public do not know where they stand on the issue or how to handle it. In nursing though, no matter who you are you will be constantly observed and judged by those around you. It begins in nursing school and continues. If you are struggling with the social politics of nursing school and can't figure out how to handle it or how you personally fit in, it will be worse in the field.

Nurses have to grow thick skin or they will not survive. Feeling sorry for yourself gets you nowhere and no one wants to hear about it at work. Even the most "normal" stereotypically perfect cheerleader looking nurse is going to have patients and coworkers that treat them like crap. Being transgendered, you are going to see a different side of that because people don't know how to handle it. Most people in this country don't know a transgendered individual personally, and may have never even met one. So to have one come in the room to care for them may be intimidating, especially given that they're already in a bad situation with an often uncertain prognosis. Some people are uncomfortable with male nurses even. You will have patients refuse care from you (I have as a male nurse a few times). You will be talked about behind your back (we all are). You will have to grow a thick skin. I don't mean you have to learn to be mean and rude, but just to let things roll of your back and to continue to do your job the best you can and give the best care to those around you, including your coworkers. Caring for our coworkers is a part of the job many people don't consider.

You have a tough road ahead of you. Nursing is tough for anyone, but you do have a unique challenge. It is a challenge that can work in you favor though. Be confident, but not cocky. Be excellent at your job. Show unconditional love for those around you. Who knows, you may be a huge positive influence on many people's perception of the transgender community because you would be in the position to do so.

Lastly, be honest with yourself. You may be in for a long road of this kind of behavior. Nursing is a very social field and you will be around new people all the time, many of which will not know how to handle being around something they don't understand. You may be the one to help them understand, or maybe you're not the kind of person that has the kind of resilience to handle these kinds of situations day in and day out.

Well said.