Torn to pieces - Pls help?

  1. My boss says she has received several complaints about me. Nobody has ever come to me with "concerns with my performance". I will be completely honest in this post since I don't know anyone here. Some of the complaints include:

    1) "Leaving the floor for extended periods of time": The only time I ever leave my floor is to either pick up blood from the lab or during my two 15-minute break and one 30-minute lunch break. And I ALWAYS ask for permission before I go outside. There are two other smokers on my floor and they live with the same rules I do. Our nurses station is broken into two sections, with more computers to chart on in the back. Often times I go back there to chart. I'm not a loud and rambunctious person. Many times the charge nurse or secretary will call my phone and I walk to where they are and say "Are you calling me? I'm right back here!" LOL I encouraged my boss to look at security cameras to see my movements throughout the hospital. Besides, I'm too busy to wander around the hospital!

    2) "She doesn't answer/carry her phone": Actually I am one of the nurses who DOES carry her phone. There might be the rare occasion where I have both hands in a "sticky" situation (ie inserting a Foley, etc) and I'm unable to answer the phone. But if that's a sin... I'd rather be a sinner than breaking sterility, dirtying my phone...

    3) "She gives narcotics at night when the patient doesn't get them during the day": I remember once losing track of time and forgetting to get pain meds for a patient. Of course, I was written up for that. Now I give pain meds as the patient requests (according to drs orders) and now it's too much. I will give in and say that I may be more likely to give pain medications (I work on a post-op floor BTW) after seeing my mother suffer with horrible pain due to cancer which claimed her life this year. I don't want to see anyone suffering. But I suppose it's the numbers I should worry about.

    4) "She's not witnessed when getting narcotics": Honestly, there are NO nurses on my floor that stand and wait for you to waste narcotics. So why am I the only one targeted? If that nurse is running through the nurses station and I need her to witness, she would fingerprint the Pyxis and run off on whatever she was previously working on.

    5) "She didn't turn the bed alarm on such and such patient": Patient safety is of great importance and so are bed alarms. There have been occasions where I've walked in a room and an alarm isn't on. Whether I did it or someone else did it (for example someone taking my pt to the restroom and forgetting to turn on the alarm) it's hard to tell. But yes, tell me about it when it occurs! Does it really need to involve being written up over? Matter of opinion I suppose. Now if it's an ongoing problem, that's another story.

    So basically the meeting with my boss was nothing short of a Salem witch trial. Seriously. And because I'm being accused of using drugs I willingly took a urine test. I do take Lortab on rare occasions and Klonopin on a daily basis so I know at least the Klonopin will come back. But I have a legit prescription. And ironically, I went on Klonopin after going to my doctor and breaking down over the stress of my job and a few particular employees. But apparently the process is to declare your prescriptions after your drug test comes back positive. Sounds weird to me, but that's how they said it's done. Oh, and I'm suspended until the drug test comes back.

    So with all that being said I am SO hurt, SO betrayed, and SO mad. Alot like a grieving process. Even with a clean drug test I know my boss is going to fire me based on accusations alone. My job was always one good thing going for me in my life. Especially after losing my mother (in a deep depression over that still).

    Has anyone ever been through this? What do I do? How do I feel? Even if I am allowed to return to work, how do I work as an efficient nurse knowing I'm walking on glass and I don't know who will make something up next? I don't recall ever doing anything to make any nurses or supervisors target me. I know I have probably been withdrawn since losing my mother, but I sure as hell am not doing drugs! I love my job too much!
  2. Visit fedupfinally profile page

    About fedupfinally

    Joined: Nov '11; Posts: 18; Likes: 20
    Registered Nurse; from US
    Specialty: 2 year(s) of experience


  3. by   SDALPN
    Take the time off to apply to other places. It can't hurt. And you can still write on the applications that you are still employed so it looks better. If you find a better job/offer, maybe its best to take it. If you lose this job, you'll already be a step ahead in finding work. If they choose to keep you, I'd still be looking. They are creating a papertrail for a later time.
  4. by   xtxrn
    If someone wants someone gone, they look at everything. Who knows what is really going on. DO what you need for you- nursing is not a "nice" business all the time.

    I had a situation when I was a very young nurse, and coincidentally had some horrendous personal stuff going on (assault victim) so I was stressed. I also had a work-related injury- voila- I'm a risk to have all things I did (or what they THOUGHT I did- some were by another fairly new nurse) were documented. Being an idiot (mostly from being new) when they said resign or be fired, I resigned- SO no unemployment benefits.
  5. by   fedupfinally
    Yes I've considered all of that. Thanks in part to my husband. I know what you mean by the paper trail. It's so sad because I always had pride in my hospital unlike so many nurses. They have a high turnover rate, but I still saw myself being there for 10-20 years. I love nursing and always want to do better each day. I volunteer to help out on busy nights. I love working. So this hurts even more.
  6. by   NewTexasRN
    Yea, I agree with the first response. Maybe its time to get out of there. Start applying to other places. For some reason, they have it out for you. Will pray for you. Hold your head up. Don't sweat it.
  7. by   Sanuk
    I went through something similar several years back. There was a concerted effort by a small group of nurses to get me to quit or be fired. I tried to fight back for a while, but after some time with increasingly horrific things being said about me, I cut my losses and moved on. Like someone else said, you should use this time to look around at other jobs in your area. Best of luck.
  8. by   fedupfinally
    I've only been an RN for 2 years. I learned the first few months that some nurses are very vindictive. You don't have to do anything wrong. They will MAKE something wrong. I'm just floored that my boss hits me all at once rather than addressing concerns as they arise?
  9. by   fedupfinally
    Sanuk it looks like this is a big issue that supervisors should be more sensitive to. More common than I realized.
  10. by   Sanuk
    Oh, it's pretty darn common for sure. Some managers are complicit, some are just ineffective, and some don't care. I've seen it too many times and it p****es me off. I've found the higher the male nurse ratio, the less this occurs, but that's not a hard and fast rule. Maybe you could look at working in a clinic or Dr's office where you might be the only nurse or have a smaller group where the cliques won't rule the roost. I hope it all works out for you.
  11. by   SDALPN
    I do private duty to stay out of hospital politics. I can give the patient better care without all the BS. If you choose to walk away, its fairly easy to get private duty work. It will give you a paycheck until you find something else unless you end up enjoying PDN and making a career of it.

    Once a few bad things are said about you in a facility, word spreads, and your rep is damaged. People believe rumors....just check your email for email hoaxes that people believe and keep spreading. Way less damaging personally, but same idea as how it spreads and is believed in a hospital. Its way too common.

    Good luck!
  12. by   jordanl
    Quote from fedupfinally
    Yes I've considered all of that. Thanks in part to my husband. I know what you mean by the paper trail. It's so sad because I always had pride in my hospital unlike so many nurses. They have a high turnover rate, but I still saw myself being there for 10-20 years. I love nursing and always want to do better each day. I volunteer to help out on busy nights. I love working. So this hurts even more.
    It really sounds like their loss and they don't deserve you as an employee. Find another place of work that will appreciate the good things you bring to the table.
  13. by   SuesquatchRN
    Honey, it's time to start looking. Use the suspension to do that.

    All I can say is that I have been targeted and it hurts. But get out.
  14. by   fedupfinally
    I agree with you on the male nurse view. It just seems they are less catty. In fact, my floor does have a bad reputation. I'm too mature to play the clique game. I'm also not the type to back down. There was one nurse in particular who has a reputation of targeting certain new employees. When I started there she harassed me almost on a daily basis. I was written up constantly and she got her friends to join in. I found this out from another nurse who wanted to give me a heads up. Although it was hard (& landed me on Klonopin for "work anxiety attacks") I toughed it out and just stayed out of her way until more new hires came in and they became her focus. 2 years later it seems the game just got worse.