Torn to pieces - Pls help? - page 5
My boss says she has received several complaints about me. Nobody has ever come to me with "concerns with my performance". I will be completely honest in this post since I don't know anyone here.... Read More
Nov 15, '11Recently had numerous nit picking complaints that equated to NOTHING more than someone's personal vendetta against me. After putting up with the nitpicking for a year i recently found a new job!
Nov 15, '11That's basically what mine is: nitpicking. My boss says it's from more than one person so it has to be true. No, I know ppl are very suggestive and you get it in one persons head that there's a problem things come out of the blue from everywhere. I don't believe I'm quitting. That's just not who I am. Setting myself up for something bad I'm sure, but damn I'm just trying to do my job!
Nov 15, '11"You are being"watched" and targeted for lateral
Get out now."
I agree with this.
Here is my thought. If they do not appreciate your job, then they do not deserve your effort to work there. I would look for a different job.
You already have two years of nursing experience, you are much more marketable than brand new nurses.
There will be lots of other employers would like to hire you.
I understand you want to stay in same employment for a long time, and it is kind of scary to move your job to a new facility. but it is not worth to take antianxiety/antidepressant or any medications to work with that type of enviornment.
Nursing itself is a stressful job already and when working environment is like that, and all the negative vibes make even harder to work there. Whatever they are doing is their loss.
Here is one thing you might want to do. If your manager is actually accusing you of something that you didn't do, tell the manager that you want to have a meeting to discuss whatever they are accusing you about, but you want your manager's bosses to attend the meeting as well.
And, also mention this to your manager that you can sue them for their false accusation.
and save all the coversation(e-mails), between your manager and you, for your record.
Start looking for a different job.
Nov 15, '11Unfortunately, all it takes is one strong individual who doesn't like you, to contaminate an entire hall/floor/wing/unit.
Had it happen to me. Seen it happen to others. In order to make themselves feel good and just about their dislike, they attach ugly qualities that don't exist. They complain about things that aren't true.
I believe it's a self defense mechanism used by ugly people to explain why they're ugly "There HAS to be something wrong with you, to explain why you're their target." Of course I may be overthinking the whole thing. Some people are just plain mean for no reason.
Here's the bad news. In my experience it doesn't get better.
Good luck to you. Watch your back.
Nov 15, '11Oh life in a dysfunctional unit, how I loathe thee.
OP, you need to decide what you want to do and do it. If you are going to leave, find a new job and leave. If you are going to stay, put on a hard hat and pack a lunch, because you're in for a long haul.
I have experience working in a toxic workplace so my observations aren't directed to you per se, they are what ive observed in my 25 years of being employed.
The drug test.... Let the drug test do the talking. Under no circumstance do you need to talk about your anxiety, your prescription meds, your home drug test, or your fears about the drug test at work or with your coworkers. I'm not saying you are guilty, but, a lot of times, this chatter can (and will be) construed as guilt. You know the saying, if the shoe fits wear it. You say you are innocent, so hold your head high at work and be innocent.
Don't trust anyone at work, unless you work with your mom or husband. Toxic workplaces are usually led by ineffective management. Toxic workplaces get a dog eat dog mentality. People clamoring to be awesome will sell anyone down the river if it makes them look better to management or raises their perceived status in the unit.
Take an honest look at yourself, this is hard to do. Are there any behaviors you have at work that may cause your coworkers to be mean to you. I don't want to seem like I'm being mean, but sometimes we do things we are unaware of. I used to complain about things that couldn't be changed. I realized one day how much one of my coworkers complained and how I didn't enjoy talking to her because she complained so much. Then it struck me that I complained a lot too! I felt the things I complained about were valid, but honestly, nothing was going to change, complaining just riled me up and probably made my coworkers avoid me. I decided to suck it up and deal with my job the 12 hours I was there without complaining. I ended up having more time to get things done and had more credibility.
Nov 16, '11LOTS of advice- My best guess- something about you or the way you do your job isn't a good fit for the culture of the floor you are working. It may not be your clinical skills. It may be something trivial or difficult to measure- I don't know you or your work so I can't say what to change. I can guess that when you get a laundry list of issues, most of which are fabrications, but all of which are offences that can document an inability to do your job safely, SOMEONE- maybe a lot of someones, want you gone. Look for a new job while you can still list your current employer as a reference. Odds are, if they are trying to document you out of the job, they will be happy to give you a glowing referal. (I had a boss that only wrote glowing letters of recommendation for staff she was desperate to get rid of). If you wait till they succeed in documenting you out, you will still be out of a job, but unlikely to be able to use your experience to get a new one.
Nov 16, '11I finally decided to try sleeping, now that I'm awake with a clear head I am MEGA depressed. I can't believe this is real. It's tearing me up thinking I may never have the chance to work there anymore. There are so many people I'm friends with that I know are on my side. BTW I've only discussed the situation with 2 of my closest friends. They want out too, especially now. But I just want things back to the way they once were. Way before all this mess started. Doesn't help it's a dark, rainy day. I'm already depressed as it is. What makes things worse is I know I'm innocent. If I did do these things I could work on changing or something. As far as leaving the floor for a break, I already ask for permission from the charge nurse as it is. What would I have to do? Have them sign a piece of paper stating I did ask and this is what time I left and what time I came back? Have them write down times they "didn't know where I was" and document that I was in this pts room or that pts room? That's not a way to work. Seriously, if I had my way, I would have a big meeting with my manager and those accusing me if they chose to show their faces. I'll bet their tone would completely change because they are full of it. Man, I don't want to be depressed!!!
Nov 16, '11Well just got word from my boss that I'm clear to come back to work! Drug test was 100% clean. No drugs. I'm so happy that the drug test was able to speak for me. I don't do drugs, don't steal drugs, nothing. She was much nicer to me but we're going to meet Monday to go over stuff. At least maybe she can listen to me better knowing some of the (drug abuse/stealing) complaints aren't true.
Nov 16, '11Quote from SDALPNQuote for Truth. Coworker and I play into several rumors. And we go out of our way to start some of them. Works better to start the 'back burn' than to try to contain an out of control wild fire. And we've found by knowing about them and joking about them, it tends to shut up to gossip queens. Not as much fun to whisper about someone when you openly talk about the secret they're trying to pass about you.Once a few bad things are said about you in a facility, word spreads, and your rep is damaged. People believe rumors...
Nov 16, '11I think you are in a very difficult situation at work, I do not think it is a healthy environment for you to work in.
My advice to you would be to go to the meeting on Monday, listen to what the manager has to say. When I say listen I mean really listen do not respond on impulse.
If she gives you a performance improvement plan, sign it and work on achieving the objectives by the timeline given.
In the meantime, look for a new less stressful place to work and leave gracefully.
No matter what we say on here and how supportive we can be, only you can change your working environment and move on.
It will work out for you one way or another and sometimes it is better to cut your losses. You can make this a positive by focusing on what you have learn't and are going to learn.
Nov 17, '11Quote from leslie :-DYeah but it's rare.....actually, there are times you can resign and get unemployment...
if you can convince unemployment that you quit under duress.
whether one quits or is terminated, always apply for unemployment if circumstances at the workplace were such, that to stay there would have been detrimental to your health.
they listen to both sides of the story...that's their job.
Nov 18, '11OP, I am glad that your manager called and cleared you for work, but be prepared for them to look for a new avenue of attack. I agree with the other poster above that you should put some feelers out for new employment.