Things you'd LOVE to be able to tell patients, and get away with it. - page 21

:spin:Just curious as to what you would say. Mine goes something like this: Hi, my name is AngelfireRN, I'll be your nurse tonight. I am not a waitress, nor am I your slave. Yelling... Read More

  1. by   bagladyrn
    Regarding the labor patients and their perceptions from the birth shows: I have been known to tell them "There are no editors in real life" and explain that the only time you see doctors hanging around at 1 a.m. is when there are TV cameras present!
  2. by   ShayRN
    Things I would like to tell administration:

    ALL my patients are VIP.
  3. by   Selke
    Quote from bagladyrn
    Regarding the labor patients and their perceptions from the birth shows: I have been known to tell them "There are no editors in real life" and explain that the only time you see doctors hanging around at 1 a.m. is when there are TV cameras present!
    And the only time MDs really get into patient teaching and really, really explaining things to the pts is when there is a camera around ... otherwise it's "this is what we need to do" then leave the room and the RN has to explain what just happened ....

    Oh yeah, I'd also love to actually tell pts that the OB "plan of care" is only ONE way to manage the pt, there are other options, that there is no consensus or any evidence of benefit of proposed management, but the MD is doing this because s/he has always done it this way and this is the accepted, high intervention, OB way of doing things ... I'd love to sit and educate the pt that they have options, but why? The pt needed to have motivation to educate herself while in antepartum care, and has to have enough brains to find a hospital -- or even OOH birth! -- that will not treat her badly if she does not want routine high interventionist OB care ... As a nurse I tread a very fine line here in real life ....

    OK back to studying my woman-centered propagandist midwifery books ....
  4. by   AuntieNursey
    Not only abandonment, but lord knows what could have been living on the bed. She didn't know what the room mate had, the possibilities are endless. To put a baby on a dirty bed is inexcusable. The "shudder" factor is off the scale, yeech. Drop a dime on that girl and get some one to pay attention to that baby since mom seems lost in a fog.
  5. by   elizabells
    We have a preemie on the unit right now whose Utox was positive for cocaine, as was mom's, of course. The other night she was chattering a million miles a minute about how we (the nurses) could avoid getting gestational hypertension and having preemies. She said we HAVE TO not eat things with salt and go on bedrest if our OBs told us to. I really had to physically bite the inside of my cheek not to say

    "You know what else I hear helps? Not SMOKING CRACK."
  6. by   missnurse1
    To the family that makes a complaint about not getting enough attention on the previous night shift: could you also make a report when you do get enough attention? Thanks, cause I have worked extremely hard today to make darn sure your stay is much more to your liking.
    What ever happened to the positive comments?
    :thnkg:
  7. by   leslie :-D
    Quote from elizabells
    We have a preemie on the unit right now whose Utox was positive for cocaine, as was mom's, of course. The other night she was chattering a million miles a minute about how we (the nurses) could avoid getting gestational hypertension and having preemies. She said we HAVE TO not eat things with salt and go on bedrest if our OBs told us to. I really had to physically bite the inside of my cheek not to say

    "You know what else I hear helps? Not SMOKING CRACK."
    sometimes i wonder what would happen, if we did say such things to our pts?

    what would happen liza, if you did say the aforementioned to your pt?
    i don't consider it unethical, unprofessional or illegal.
    so, where's the problem in having this pt confront the real truth?

    leslie
  8. by   casi
    Everyone knows the movie Finding Nemo and Dori's "Just keep swimming" song. The one thing I have gotten stuck in my head when working with SOB patients and I am nearly surprised I haven't started singing outloud to the tune of the 'Just Keep Swimming' song is:

    Just keep breathing, Just keep breathing, Just keep breathing breathing breathing.
  9. by   BrokenRNheart
    To the patients that can reach for their phones and food and then ask you to pull up their blankets.

    "No, you can do it."

    I really don't mind doing it, it takes only a second. But, WHY? Why become so helpless. My mother is 81 and active - for a reason. She doesn't ASK for anything. That is a problem at times but it keeps her alive and going.

    Her theory, "if I sit to long, I'm afraid I won't get up."

    I love that. She, too, has buried two husbands.

    And my 80 year old aunt came to my son's baby shower less than a week after her mastectomy and within 2 weeks of burying her husband. She wouldn't ask you to pull up her blankets unless she was ill enough to need that.
  10. by   RN.38SPCL
    From adult family member running to the nurses station, "Mommy said the aids hurt her this morning when they made her get in her chair, we want you to get an x-ray". wish i could say " Hello.... Mommy weighs 400 pounds and never moves, she was air lifted by heavy eqipment from her bed to her chair, that's why her legs are "Puffy" Mommy is not crying in pain, do you see any tears?. Mommy is a fat pill popper and wants more drugs. after you leave, she'll sleep 24/7 except during meals or pill pass time." By the way, Mommy is diabetic, so quit bringing her buckets of kentucky fried chicken and bags of cookies to stash under her blankets".
  11. by   Quickbeam
    In my role as nurse for my state Dept. of Transportation:

    "Hi. Yes. I took your father's driver's license away. I'm sure he DOES love to drive. No, threatening me with legal action will not change my mind (yawn). When his dementia/blindness/end stage Parkinson's resolves, I'd love to give him his license back!"
  12. by   RN.38SPCL
    Quote from Quickbeam
    In my role as nurse for my state Dept. of Transportation:

    "Hi. Yes. I took your father's driver's license away. I'm sure he DOES love to drive. No, threatening me with legal action will not change my mind (yawn). When his dementia/blindness/end stage Parkinson's resolves, I'd love to give him his license back!"
    funny, I had a 62 yr old male hospice pt once who was blind ( shadows only), needed a walker, had oxygen and terminal lung cancer. It was his birthday and he wanted to see if he could get his driver's license renewed. He walked in the BMV with his walker, portable O2, and sunglasses. He told the gals working he forgot his reading glasses and they just took his photo and renewed his DL. He laughed about that and showed it to everyone. He died 7 days later.
  13. by   UM Review RN
    To the patient who's impatient to be DC'd when the doc didn't finalize the orders and was whining that "everything was negative and he should've called back hours ago and I know he wants me to go home today" and keeps having her SO follow me around as I'm taking care of patients, and hover at the desk, listening in on my phone calls:


    SO, GO ALREADY!

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