Should i go over my manager's head

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I have been having issues with my manager for a while now, and i am reaching the point of no return. I think she wants to get rid of me and i dont know what to do. I started on this floor as a new RN seven years ago and loved it up until six months ago. Our old manager was a sweetheart. She trusted us to do a good job, and didn't ride us at all. She retired a year ago, and the manager from the unit across the hall took us over while administration looked for the "right" person. This manager started six months ago and it has been horrible here since. She is always out on the floor sticking her nose in everything, and talking to patients about how they like there care. Its like she doesn't trust us and is checking up on us. We are not allowed to sit at the desk to chart. Instead we have to take our work stations and stay outdise our rooms. That wouldn't be to bad, but we are not even aloud to have a cup of coffee or a coke while we chart. I had never been wrote up in the past, but she has wrote me up twice. For forgetting to wash my hands, and because she said i was rude to some students. She critisizes my charting and my care plans. She hired a lot of new people, and plays favorites with them. I used to do a lot of committee work, but now i am only on one committee, and she gave some of my committees to her favorites. The last straw was this morning when i asked her to sign the renewal for my clinical step. I have been a Step Two for six years, and never had a problem before. If she doesn't sign it, i will take a 5 percent pay cut. She wont sign because of my attitude and the write ups. The write ups are not fair, and the only reason i have a bad attitude is because of her. I am not the only one who feels this way about her. Two other RNs who have been here a long time feel the same way. I am really upset about my Step Two though. I want to make an appointment with the CNO to see if she will talk to the manager about this situation. If anyone else has been through something like this, how did it turn out? Am I wasting my time?

Specializes in ..

RNperdeim.... I suspect you're right that hiding out on back shift wouldn't work. When an employee has that seemingly paranoid feeling that a manager is gunning for him/ her, they're virtually always right, and it's not just paranoia.

What usually happens is this: in the beginning the manager has a neutral opinion about every employee, then impressions form that are either positive or negative. If the impressions are positive, the manager develops trust and grants more autonomy to the employee as the employee continues to prove herself as being competent, trustworthy, and loyal. (Using the pronoun 'she' as most nurses are female.) If the employee fails to live up to reasonable expectations the manager starts watching for signs that she's falling short in other ways. Usually, at this early stage, the manager is coaching the employee and giving the benefit of doubt, and gentle reminders. If the manager's polite suggestions are not met with eagerness and a willingness to correct mistakes, this is the point that the pressure gets ratcheted up a few notches. All it takes are a few responses of, "That isn't what my old manager did" or, "That's ridiculous!" or... sometimes the most offensive of all... the dreaded 'eye rolling routine' or that horrible 'head wiggle pose with hands-on-hips accompanied by the smirk'. If Ladybluebell was guilty of one of these, she might be on her way out... Now the manager is in 'evidence collecting mode' so she can document all the infractions. (The last thing a manager wants to do is fire an employee and have that person either win their job back, or get unemployment by saying it was an unjustified termination.) When an employee reaches this point, the boss is so fed up there isn't much to be done to save the relationship (unless you swallow your pride, express remorse over previous mistakes and promise you'll do better). Otherwise, that feeling that the manager is 'riding' you is going to continue until she has enough evidence to actually dismiss you.

Some of the warning signs that you may be about to be terminated:

  • Your duties are being reduced
  • You have the impression that you're 'being watched'
  • Your pay is either frozen or cut
  • People seem to be whispering but stop talking when you approach
  • Your boss seems to be micro-managing you
  • Your boss is asking others about your work performance
  • You're not 'in the loop' of communications
  • Your boss is less than friendly towards you
  • Some colleagues seem to be distancing themselves from you

This isn't a guarantee that you're going to get fired, but the more of these things you experience the greater the probability that it may happen.

Specializes in Pedi.
An alternative idea if the OP does not wish to change would be to work lots of nights and weekends to "hide out" from the new manager.

It probably wouldn't work since the manager has you targeted for close observation.

I did this before I quit my last job. It worked a little but it was a LOT of effort to be in a hiding spot every morning by 6:40 (sadly taking care of a neurologically devastated child in DCF custody with no parents was something to look forward to, because the patient didn't notice or care if you hid in his room) and make sure I'd given report on all my patients before she would come out of charge report so I'd have enough time to sneak into the conference room through the back door, grab my things (which the night shifts knows to hide their things when it gets close to morning... this manager would throw people's jackets/bags if she saw them in the nurses' back room) and get the hell out.

And, really, if you need to put that much effort into hiding from your boss, you've got to wonder if it's worth it. My former colleagues could always tell when people were getting close to leaving when they'd start hiding on nights. A true sign that they end was near.

I agree with Wooh. Nothing good came out of it when I went above my manager's head for anything- just made me realize I was fighting a losing battle and that nothing would ever change, because as far anything in the hospital was concerned "1 + 1 is 2, it's always been 2 and it's always going to be 2" so the way they were doing things was already right because it was the way they'd always done it.

This combo right here:

I would say I felt like we had gotten off on the wrong foot and that I wanted to do whatever it took to have a positive working relationship.......
Make an appointment to talk to her on your day off. Do not try to talk with her when you are working, as this will undoubtedly be emotional for you. Go to her with a sincere desire to improve and meet her expectations. Try to identify specific areas for improvement, and have a plan on mind of how you are going to improve. Ask her to be very specific about her expectations as well. And let her know that you want her to help you grow as a professional. If you want more help, you can PM me.

I'm not the easiest person to have as an employee. But my manager actually seems to like me. I think she sees me as a project. :)

What's worked for us is I know the things that she thinks I should do better. And she knows that they are DIFFICULT for me. But she also knows that I'm willing to work on them. And when I start slipping, she calls me into the principal's office and lets me know that she's seen me slipping. And I take it in, and say, "yeah, you're right." And I try to do better.d

I think most managers (at least ones that are worth working for) want to have the people working for them succeed. There really isn't any joy in firing people or writing them up. (Well, I think for my old manager there was, but she's truly a psychopath.) Take some time, look into yourself, and think about things that you actually can improve on. I'm a good nurse. I base that assessment on the fact that coworkers have requested me to take care of their family members. But there are things that I'm not good at. And sometimes it takes a fresh look at ourselves to get ourselves out of a complacent place. It doesn't feel good to suddenly realize there are things we can do better. But there's always something. I think you've been raked through the coals by some of the responses in this thread. I don't know if what your manager is seeing in you right now is legitimate. But I think that even if what she's seeing isn't legitimate, there's obviously something in your manner that's making her see things like this, and maybe THAT is what you need to find a way to change. I think you've definitely gotten off on the wrong foot. And there's only two or three nurses that I've know who don't have things they can improve on. We pretty much all do. Even my psychopath ex-boss had a few observations about me that were totally on the nose. I think if you can see past the changes you obviously don't like, and I'm pretty sure I'd be resentful too, and find it in yourself to humble yourself and approach your manager about what she'd specifically like to see you improve, I think you'll grow as a person, as a nurse, and likely gain more respect from your manager than if she'd liked you right off the bat.

Good luck!

Specializes in Trauma, Emergency.

So as a nursing student, I'm hearing from you that consistent hand hygeine and common courtesy are not actually important on the floor. Is this what you mean to be saying?

At my last hospital managers were required to go to at least one room that we were assigned and ask pt how they felt about the care they were receiving. We also could not have any drinks ANYWHERE but the break room. If they found drink, it was trashed immediately, no questions asked. Also, handwashing has and should always be a biggy! HCAPS is here to stay and when a hospital's reimbursement depends on those scores, you can bet it is only going to get worse.

Specializes in Cath lab, acute, community.

Although I have never been in this situation before, personally I would mention it to the union with the other nurses support, and then go further. Just have the unions support behind you (I'm not a huge union person, but they are there for a reason)

I've just got to add (as a former manager in a totally unrelated field) that if "everyone" "loves" the "sweetheart" of a manager... Well, then that manager is probably not terribly effective. If everyone likes you, then you aren't doing your job.

Managers aren't there to win popularity contests - they are there to manage and ensure that things happen according to the company plan. Its not an easy job, especially when it is done well...

And, sometimes people need and deserve to be fired - even if they've been around for a hundred years. It is never easy or fun ot fire someone, and maybe the new sheriff in town will take care of some things that the former manager let slide.

If a manager is well-liked, maybe it's because she's a happy person, not a psycho who wants to hurt others or strut about like a power-mad dictator. Maybe she trusts her staff and respects them and doesn't breathe down their necks, is available for counsel, consultation, guidance, can be approached without staff having to fear they'll be looked down upon for seeking help, and so on. Oh, gee, it sounds like the land of Oz, sorry.

Another thing to remember if you are going to meet with your nurse manager is to take ownership of the problem. When I have had to coach staff, I find that those individuals who are accountable and willing to take at least part of the responsibility for the situation show improvement. Those who come into a coaching session with the attitude that all of the issues are someone else's fault will not be willing to work to improve their own behaviors.

If you want to stay in the position, I'd work at getting on your new manager's good side. Thank her when she offers you the critical feedback and adjust your behavior based on that. You might even talk with her and let her know you want to start anew. If you go over her head, you might get into more hot water. The items she wrote you up for were valid. No one is perfect...everyone makes a mistake. If she caught a miss, just own up to it and be more careful... She may be going after you harder per your attitude. Let go of it. It's doing you no good... It can be hard to do...but it will likely only help you...

Good luck!

Specializes in CICU.
If a manager is well-liked, maybe it's because she's a happy person, not a psycho who wants to hurt others or strut about like a power-mad dictator. Maybe she trusts her staff and respects them and doesn't breathe down their necks, is available for counsel, consultation, guidance, can be approached without staff having to fear they'll be looked down upon for seeking help, and so on. Oh, gee, it sounds like the land of Oz, sorry.

Well, that is easy enough if one believes that management is always wrong/evil/stupid/corrupt and that the "little guy" is always getting the shaft...

If anyone knows of a place where all employees behave like adults and no one ever needs discipline - send me a PM so I know where to submit my resume.

Still, my personal experience in life (and this ain't my first rodeo) is that "psycho" managers are more in the minority and are far outnumbered by mediocre to sub-par employees. But, I am certainly not saying it doesn't happen - I've seen it and have had to clean up the considerable mess left behind.

FWIW, which is probably not much, my manager is well-liked and respected by me. I don't mind when she shows up on the off-shift (because I am not screwing around on my I-phone all night). I also appreciate the chance to work with her. At the same time, I know there are others who think she is on a crazy power-trip. Perhaps the same ones that are too busy updating facebook to answer call-lights?

PS-for political correctness - I am not implying that the OP is mediocre or sub-par.

Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.
If a manager is well-liked, maybe it's because she's a happy person, not a psycho who wants to hurt others or strut about like a power-mad dictator. Maybe she trusts her staff and respects them and doesn't breathe down their necks, is available for counsel, consultation, guidance, can be approached without staff having to fear they'll be looked down upon for seeking help, and so on. Oh, gee, it sounds like the land of Oz, sorry.

I was thinking along those lines, too. There is a lot that is unsaid about the incidents the OP related. I don't know where people got the idea that the manager who was retired was fired, that patients were complaining about poor care, or that the OP is setting a bad example for student nurses reading this thread because she was written up for not washing her hands and being rude to students when I don't think we have enough detail about those events to say for sure at this point. I do know that it never hurts to tell your new unit (if you are the new manager) things to smooth your path as far as different styles, different personaiities.

Well, that is easy enough if one believes that management is always wrong/evil/stupid/corrupt and that the "little guy" is always getting the shaft...

If anyone knows of a place where all employees behave like adults and no one ever needs discipline - send me a PM so I know where to submit my resume.

Still, my personal experience in life (and this ain't my first rodeo) is that "psycho" managers are more in the minority and are far outnumbered by mediocre to sub-par employees. But, I am certainly not saying it doesn't happen - I've seen it and have had to clean up the considerable mess left behind.

FWIW, which is probably not much, my manager is well-liked and respected by me. I don't mind when she shows up on the off-shift (because I am not screwing around on my I-phone all night). I also appreciate the chance to work with her. At the same time, I know there are others who think she is on a crazy power-trip. Perhaps the same ones that are too busy updating facebook to answer call-lights?

PS-for political correctness - I am not implying that the OP is mediocre or sub-par.

I don't believe managers are always wrong, evil, etc. I just have seen my share of people who were unhappy in their personal lives and brought that to the job. I've known of managers having illicit relations with subordinates or with their superiors, managers who were drug-addicted, stealing, drinking, and so on. In other words, managers who were not in any position to lead, to do evaluations, to be role models or coaches, managers who knew only how to do write-up's.

Let me add that staff who work nights or evenings or only weekends do it for various reasons. Like maybe it's a 2nd job or there are babysitting/child care reasons, or transportation reasons. Or maybe the worker is just a natural night owl or evening bloomer. Does everyone who isn't on M-F day shift have to be hiding out or

hiding some terrible secret?

Wow, what a scary attitude. Who should care for the patients on Eve's and Nights? It's like people thinking that teachers can't actually do anything. I guess some people might be hiding out, but not all off-shift workers are doing that.

I ask those here who hold this view to think a little more broadly - and more charitably. And thank off-shift workers for being there for the patients at whatever hour necessary.

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