Should i go over my manager's head - page 4

I have been having issues with my manager for a while now, and i am reaching the point of no return. I think she wants to get rid of me and i dont know what to do. I started on this floor as a new RN seven years ago and loved it... Read More

  1. 4
    Quote from Teacher Sue
    The OP states she started on this unit as a new nurse and has been there seven years. Essentially it seems that she "grew up" professionally in an environment where leadership was absent, and expectations were low. If this is the environment she came into, then this behavior is what she was taught. For those seven years, she thought she was doing a good job, and probably had good performance evaluations. And she probably was doing a good job of fitting in to that environment and meeting those expectations. Now she is told that she is not doing a good job, and that can be painful. If she wants to keep her job, then she needs to go to her manager with a sincere desire to improve and a plan in place to do so. If not, she will soon be looking for another job, either by her choice or her manager's. And she will need to look outside her current institution. With two write ups in her file, she will most likely not be able to transfer to another unit within her present organization.
    I do not agree that the previous manager was necessarily lax or lacking in leadership. Maybe, but I can't say that for sure. There's a lot we are not told, as usual in situations like this.

    Whether the old boss was good or bad isn't relevant any more, though. OP needs to deal with reality today. I wish her well.
    GrnTea, nursel56, kids, and 1 other like this.

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  2. 1
    The manager is not interem, she was hired from outside. I think she might be from another state. i know she never worked at my hospital before. I think we are stuck with her. Most everyone here seems to think i need to go to her and 'humble' myself. I dont want to but if i need to so i can keep my job, i guess i dont have a choice. Any advise on what to say.
    Kooky Korky likes this.
  3. 5
    Make an appointment to talk to her on your day off. Do not try to talk with her when you are working, as this will undoubtedly be emotional for you. Go to her with a sincere desire to improve and meet her expectations. Try to identify specific areas for improvement, and have a plan on mind of how you are going to improve. Ask her to be very specific about her expectations as well. And let her know that you want her to help you grow as a professional. If you want more help, you can PM me.
    Kooky Korky, GrnTea, wooh, and 2 others like this.
  4. 5
    I would say I felt like we had gotten off on the wrong foot and that I wanted to do whatever it took to have a positive working relationship.......
    GrnTea, kids, ~*Stargazer*~, and 2 others like this.
  5. 4
    Quote from Ladybluebell
    The manager is not interem, she was hired from outside. I think she might be from another state. i know she never worked at my hospital before. I think we are stuck with her. Most everyone here seems to think i need to go to her and 'humble' myself. I dont want to but if i need to so i can keep my job, i guess i dont have a choice. Any advise on what to say.
    If you cannot be sincere, nothing you say will do you any good. You have to be willing to concede that there are things upon which you can improve (handwashing is very important, you are not supposed to have beverages at your work station-this is not just her rule, it's reasonable for her to expect you to be gracious to students, and to document honestly). You cannot simply talk the talk-insincerity is pretty easy to spot, particularly when it is wrapped in a poorly concealed bad attitude. You must believe that you really do need to improve in certain areas, and if she makes suggestions on how to do that, you must deliver.
    kids, ~*Stargazer*~, Purple_Scrubs, and 1 other like this.
  6. 0
    An alternative idea if the OP does not wish to change would be to work lots of nights and weekends to "hide out" from the new manager.
    It probably wouldn't work since the manager has you targeted for close observation.
  7. 3
    RNperdeim.... I suspect you're right that hiding out on back shift wouldn't work. When an employee has that seemingly paranoid feeling that a manager is gunning for him/ her, they're virtually always right, and it's not just paranoia.

    What usually happens is this: in the beginning the manager has a neutral opinion about every employee, then impressions form that are either positive or negative. If the impressions are positive, the manager develops trust and grants more autonomy to the employee as the employee continues to prove herself as being competent, trustworthy, and loyal. (Using the pronoun 'she' as most nurses are female.) If the employee fails to live up to reasonable expectations the manager starts watching for signs that she's falling short in other ways. Usually, at this early stage, the manager is coaching the employee and giving the benefit of doubt, and gentle reminders. If the manager's polite suggestions are not met with eagerness and a willingness to correct mistakes, this is the point that the pressure gets ratcheted up a few notches. All it takes are a few responses of, "That isn't what my old manager did" or, "That's ridiculous!" or... sometimes the most offensive of all... the dreaded 'eye rolling routine' or that horrible 'head wiggle pose with hands-on-hips accompanied by the smirk'. If Ladybluebell was guilty of one of these, she might be on her way out... Now the manager is in 'evidence collecting mode' so she can document all the infractions. (The last thing a manager wants to do is fire an employee and have that person either win their job back, or get unemployment by saying it was an unjustified termination.) When an employee reaches this point, the boss is so fed up there isn't much to be done to save the relationship (unless you swallow your pride, express remorse over previous mistakes and promise you'll do better). Otherwise, that feeling that the manager is 'riding' you is going to continue until she has enough evidence to actually dismiss you.

    Some of the warning signs that you may be about to be terminated:
    • Your duties are being reduced
    • You have the impression that you're 'being watched'
    • Your pay is either frozen or cut
    • People seem to be whispering but stop talking when you approach
    • Your boss seems to be micro-managing you
    • Your boss is asking others about your work performance
    • You're not 'in the loop' of communications
    • Your boss is less than friendly towards you
    • Some colleagues seem to be distancing themselves from you
    This isn't a guarantee that you're going to get fired, but the more of these things you experience the greater the probability that it may happen.
    Teacher Sue, GrnTea, and Nascar nurse like this.
  8. 1
    Quote from RNperdiem
    An alternative idea if the OP does not wish to change would be to work lots of nights and weekends to "hide out" from the new manager.
    It probably wouldn't work since the manager has you targeted for close observation.
    I did this before I quit my last job. It worked a little but it was a LOT of effort to be in a hiding spot every morning by 6:40 (sadly taking care of a neurologically devastated child in DCF custody with no parents was something to look forward to, because the patient didn't notice or care if you hid in his room) and make sure I'd given report on all my patients before she would come out of charge report so I'd have enough time to sneak into the conference room through the back door, grab my things (which the night shifts knows to hide their things when it gets close to morning... this manager would throw people's jackets/bags if she saw them in the nurses' back room) and get the hell out.

    And, really, if you need to put that much effort into hiding from your boss, you've got to wonder if it's worth it. My former colleagues could always tell when people were getting close to leaving when they'd start hiding on nights. A true sign that they end was near.

    I agree with Wooh. Nothing good came out of it when I went above my manager's head for anything- just made me realize I was fighting a losing battle and that nothing would ever change, because as far anything in the hospital was concerned "1 + 1 is 2, it's always been 2 and it's always going to be 2" so the way they were doing things was already right because it was the way they'd always done it.
    ~*Stargazer*~ likes this.
  9. 1
    This combo right here:

    Quote from CrunchRN
    I would say I felt like we had gotten off on the wrong foot and that I wanted to do whatever it took to have a positive working relationship.......
    Quote from Teacher Sue
    Make an appointment to talk to her on your day off. Do not try to talk with her when you are working, as this will undoubtedly be emotional for you. Go to her with a sincere desire to improve and meet her expectations. Try to identify specific areas for improvement, and have a plan on mind of how you are going to improve. Ask her to be very specific about her expectations as well. And let her know that you want her to help you grow as a professional. If you want more help, you can PM me.
    I'm not the easiest person to have as an employee. But my manager actually seems to like me. I think she sees me as a project.
    What's worked for us is I know the things that she thinks I should do better. And she knows that they are DIFFICULT for me. But she also knows that I'm willing to work on them. And when I start slipping, she calls me into the principal's office and lets me know that she's seen me slipping. And I take it in, and say, "yeah, you're right." And I try to do better.d
    I think most managers (at least ones that are worth working for) want to have the people working for them succeed. There really isn't any joy in firing people or writing them up. (Well, I think for my old manager there was, but she's truly a psychopath.) Take some time, look into yourself, and think about things that you actually can improve on. I'm a good nurse. I base that assessment on the fact that coworkers have requested me to take care of their family members. But there are things that I'm not good at. And sometimes it takes a fresh look at ourselves to get ourselves out of a complacent place. It doesn't feel good to suddenly realize there are things we can do better. But there's always something. I think you've been raked through the coals by some of the responses in this thread. I don't know if what your manager is seeing in you right now is legitimate. But I think that even if what she's seeing isn't legitimate, there's obviously something in your manner that's making her see things like this, and maybe THAT is what you need to find a way to change. I think you've definitely gotten off on the wrong foot. And there's only two or three nurses that I've know who don't have things they can improve on. We pretty much all do. Even my psychopath ex-boss had a few observations about me that were totally on the nose. I think if you can see past the changes you obviously don't like, and I'm pretty sure I'd be resentful too, and find it in yourself to humble yourself and approach your manager about what she'd specifically like to see you improve, I think you'll grow as a person, as a nurse, and likely gain more respect from your manager than if she'd liked you right off the bat.
    Good luck!
    Teacher Sue likes this.
  10. 0
    So as a nursing student, I'm hearing from you that consistent hand hygeine and common courtesy are not actually important on the floor. Is this what you mean to be saying?


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