Nursing Hostility and Other Nonsense - page 2

by RegisteredNuisance

13,864 Views | 53 Comments

In my short career as a nurse I've seen some terrible behavior among nurses, and I'd like to share my take on things. I've only been a year for two years, and working as a nurse for 13 but in that short amount of time, I've... Read More


  1. 1
    oh and people complainabout cliques where I work.... it is pathetic.. and reeks of inferiority and jealousy at least in my unit's case. so what if mary, bet, charlotte are friends and go out afterworl so at work they talk to each other almost exclusively and help each other alot. They also help me if I ask.... but some nurses seem to get way too upset at not being part of the group and accuse them of being cliquey..... what does that even mean... as friends they help each other but when asked they don't say no to other coworkers..... some don't offer to help and would love to see you drawn but I have only seen aides outright refuse to help when able to never a rn or lpn
    Kipahni likes this.
  2. 11
    A previous poster stated that this occurs in all professions. I'm not a nurse. I'm an engineer and have been for 30+ years. I have NEVER encountered the type of behavior I read about on this forum. I don't think the difference is the fact that you are nurses, and I'm an engineer. The difference is the type of culture your management fosters.

    Every place I have worked has published their corporate values. One of those values has always been to treat everyone with courtesy and respect. Everyone is rated on how they embrace the corporate values on their annual performance appraisal. We do 360 degree performance appraisals which means an employee has the opportunity to appraise their manager. Any employee who doesn't embrace this culture will be given a chance to change, and if they don't, they'll be let go.

    The companies also do annual surveys to allow employees to provide feedback to management on pay, benefits, training, quality of life, corporate culture, etc. The results of the surveys are shared with employees and the action plans to correct any deficiencies are provided by management.

    I think the companies focus on creating a good corporate culture, because in the 30+ years I've worked in this industry there has always been more jobs than qualified people to fill the positions. Companies want to attract and retain talented employees, so they have to create a positive culture. It's a small community, and no company wants to become known as a bad place to work.

    It doesn't look like your management is going to create this culture, but you can do as the OP said and create a positive culture in the space you inhabit. Then when you get into management, you can try to change the culture hospital wide.

    Your jobs are difficult and stressful enough. They shouldn't be more difficult and stressful because of your co-workers.
  3. 0
    Quote from Anonymous865
    A previous poster stated that this occurs in all professions. I'm not a nurse. I'm an engineer and have been for 30+ years. I have NEVER encountered the type of behavior I read about on this forum. I don't think the difference is the fact that you are nurses, and I'm an engineer. The difference is the type of culture your management fosters.

    Every place I have worked has published their corporate values. One of those values has always been to treat everyone with courtesy and respect. Everyone is rated on how they embrace the corporate values on their annual performance appraisal. We do 360 degree performance appraisals which means an employee has the opportunity to appraise their manager. Any employee who doesn't embrace this culture will be given a chance to change, and if they don't, they'll be let go.

    The companies also do annual surveys to allow employees to provide feedback to management on pay, benefits, training, quality of life, corporate culture, etc. The results of the surveys are shared with employees and the action plans to correct any deficiencies are provided by management.

    I think the companies focus on creating a good corporate culture, because in the 30+ years I've worked in this industry there has always been more jobs than qualified people to fill the positions. Companies want to attract and retain talented employees, so they have to create a positive culture. It's a small community, and no company wants to become known as a bad place to work.

    It doesn't look like your management is going to create this culture, but you can do as the OP said and create a positive culture in the space you inhabit. Then when you get into management, you can try to change the culture hospital wide.

    Your jobs are difficult and stressful enough. They shouldn't be more difficult and stressful because of your co-workers.
    Thanks for your input, hope you are still reading. I don' t know much about engineering work environments. How closely do you have to work with your co-workers, is there much interaction needed at work ?
  4. 1
    Munch---I could have been that nurse who was gossiped about in front of you. Even though I had been a nurse for years, the last floor I worked on was new territory, plus I only worked PRN, thus making it difficult to maintain a good "pace" as well as remember all the locations of stuff. In addition, the equipment was unlike anything I was familiar with. Many a day I left for home after a shift feeling as though, if I were to drink a large amount of anything, it would come spurting out of the holes left in my back due to the backstabbing of the majority of those I worked alongside of. I finally realized that it wasn't about me, but their own issues. I also learned that we are all subject to the human condition, and we each have to make a conscious choice as to how we treat others as well as react to those who are unkind. I just hope their attitudes didn't spill over into their care of the vulnerable. And, most importantly, I hope I never treat anyone else as I often was.
    Not_A_Hat_Person likes this.
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    This kind of behavior is in just about any profession where people work closely together. I'm a nursing student, start in August, and at my "advanced age" of 49, I imagine I will be the subject of much of the whispers and snide looks, but I don't care. One thing I have learned in life is that not everyone at your job place (or in your classroom) needs to be your "friend", they are your co-workers, and just getting through your day doing your job is all you need to be focused on. I would guess that being brought into the fold, so to speak, is more important for younger people, because as younger people we always seem to feel the need to fit in and be part of a group. Not so much as you get older!
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    Some nurses are just not meant to be nurses..... I am all to often appalled with some nurses approach with patients - rude and unsympathetic. Also, some nurses laziness, unwillingness to support a co-worker when they could use a hand, and constant putting down of other nurses. I would say the majority of nurses I work with are excellent, caring, compassionate nurses, who would lend and hand, but there are exceptions. I am not sure if it is just the fact that we spend a lot of time with each other on 12 hour shifts, strong personalities, that the profession is made up of mostly ladies or what..... but I get awfully tired of people putting down others.
    gummi bear, bagface, Nurse_Diane, and 1 other like this.
  7. 1
    Quote from kakamegamama
    Munch---I could have been that nurse who was gossiped about in front of you. Even though I had been a nurse for years, the last floor I worked on was new territory, plus I only worked PRN, thus making it difficult to maintain a good "pace" as well as remember all the locations of stuff. In addition, the equipment was unlike anything I was familiar with. Many a day I left for home after a shift feeling as though, if I were to drink a large amount of anything, it would come spurting out of the holes left in my back due to the backstabbing of the majority of those I worked alongside of. I finally realized that it wasn't about me, but their own issues. I also learned that we are all subject to the human condition, and we each have to make a conscious choice as to how we treat others as well as react to those who are unkind. I just hope their attitudes didn't spill over into their care of the vulnerable. And, most importantly, I hope I never treat anyone else as I often was.
    I am sorry you were made to feel that way. Like I said about the person my co-workers(my nurses at the time) were talking about...of course she was going to be slow! You don't just enter a new place and know where everything is right away! And IF you want to gossip about a co-worker...do it in the linen closet...not in front of patients! It was inappropriate. But when I came back from my medical leave this nurse that was SO "inept" didn't seem like it to me. In fact she got a lot of compliments from patients and their family members. I guess some people just forget how hard it is being new..obviously these gossiping nurses weren't planted in the hospital..they were new once too.

    Anonymous865..I stated it happens in all professions..I stand corrected...it happens in A LOT if not MOST professions. My father was an aviation mechanic, worked with mostly middle aged men and it happened where he worked. My dad HATED drama of all kind and was a VERY likable guy. He used to come home and discuss the same things we are on here. People ratting other people out over the pettiest things(like how someone put the wrench in the toolbox before the hammer) or how someone took an extra 3 minutes on their lunch break, thus making them a slacker. People stepping over other people to climb the corporate latter etc. No wonder why my dad used to come home from work in a bad mood...I always thought it was because of sitting in traffic in his 1.5 hour commute home!
    TurtleCat likes this.
  8. 1
    I really liked Brandon LPN's reply:

    Quote from BrandonLPN
    I guess how you answer this poll depends on how you define "hostile" behavior.

    I don't consider a curt response, a funny look or a failure to smile as hostile. In any fast paced job environment, people are going to be somewhat impatient and preoccupied in their communication. This isn't hostile. Real hostility is rare. Passive-aggressive remarks and gossip on the other hand....
    And the reply from Anotherone:

    Quote from anotherone
    I really can't stand the whole doesn't smile enough, chit chat, say hello, care about my baby shower garbage. A lot of nurses are like crabs in a barrell. Some also seem to enjoy the victim role and everything is a big offense. Like if you were assigned 2/6 empty rooms it means the charge nurse isincompetent
    or a bully. I try not to thi k everyone is out to get me.

    I nodded my head a few times at both of those points... there's a fine line though between general unsociable behavior (not smiling, etc) and downright rudeness and hostility. Some people definitely mistake one for the other and it's true we're NOT at work to socialize, gossip, talk about HOW OMG WE LOVED FIFTY SHADES OF GREY... we're there to work, to earn our paycheck and take care of our patients. However... I find my workplace more enjoyable and rewarding when I can have (at the very least) a civil or even friendly relationship with my coworkers. I don't have to be all "buddy-buddy" with my coworkers, but sometimes cordial behavior makes all the difference.

    It's easy for me especially to act on that impulse to rip on the charge nurse/the ER sending up patients rapid-fire/whatever when I'm stressed... but what good does that do? It just brings the mood on the unit down. EVERYBODY is stressed out and busy, we get it. Sooo... breathe and carry on, it's only a twelve (thirteen all told) hour shift.
    BrandonLPN likes this.
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    Quote from anotherone
    oh and people complainabout cliques where I work.... it is pathetic.. and reeks of inferiority and jealousy at least in my unit's case. so what if mary, bet, charlotte are friends and go out afterworl so at work they talk to each other almost exclusively and help each other alot. They also help me if I ask...
    The problem is when Mary, Bet, and Charlotte only talk to and help each other. You shouldn't have to be someone's drinking buddy to find out the supply room code, get help turning a patient, or get a break covered. I've worked in enough places where not being part of the "in" group meant you were completely on your own.
    *LadyJane*, angelar7s, tabbybear68, and 2 others like this.
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    This IS a generalization, BUT stereotypes exist for a reason. So, I'll sum up the problem in one word: women. I'm a gay male nurse and I rarely encounter drama and, more importantly, I won't put up with it. I'm IN THE MOMENT with my patients, but I don't take any of it home with me and, if you're organized and know how to prioritize (and no one just coded), you shouldn't be there more than 15 minutes past your scheduled shift time. It's a 24/7 biz. So, someone will be there to pick up where you left off. And for the individual who noted nurses looking for a resident to have a fling with/marry, the residents look for nurses too. Be well!
    Kipahni, *LadyJane*, and gummi bear like this.


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