"Nurses are so Mean" - page 10

by Ruby Vee 62,530 Views | 219 Comments

I wish I had a dollar for every post I've read claiming that "nurses are so mean," "nurses are nasty to each other," "nurses eat their young" or "my preceptor is picking on me for no good reason." And then if you add in all the... Read More


  1. 1
    Hmmm...just wondering if the post was titled "Nurses Are So Mean" because the op knew that title would get a lot of attention because, well, SOME nurses ARE mean.
    And that the term "lateral violence" exists because, yes, lateral violence does exist.
    Just as some people are bullies as children, some adults are bullies too. It's just that the bullying doesn't involve the playground anymore. Most schools have an anti-bullying week, when kids are educated on preventing bullying.

    To those of you who work in hospital administration, please please can we institute something like this at hospitals?
    Thanks
    GadgetRN71 likes this.
  2. 1
    Amen!
    7ccbc09d-f64b-9206-3d30-ac92418ca2d7
    1.03.01
    bratandtoadsmom likes this.
  3. 0
    I'm a float nurse so I'm almost always the new nurse. I believe that as a newcomer I need to try harder to get the approval of the people I work with. I'm treated fairly most of the time. Every once in a blue moon there is that one person who has a chip on their shoulder or perhaps just doesn't like me very much. That person I try to assault them with kindness. I try to make them feel comfortable. I offer to help them when I can. Eventually their walls crumble when they get to know me. This is something I've had to practice over and over again because I have a young pretty face. Never judge a book by it's cover. And never judge the people you work with because one day that person may be your boss.
  4. 0
    Ive had about 50/50 with Nurse preceptors. And yes some are seasoned and forget what its like to be new or going into new specialty. Some are still new themselves just trying to get thru the day also. But i do know people need to stop and think what they are saying. Our jobs are on the line every minute of the day while working and as soon as nurses forget that they are somehow loosing there passion to be a great nurse. Not all nurses are cut out to be preceptors. Also i wouldnt want to put my patient in jeopardy because i cant perform my job because ive been up all night with a sick child or whatever. We are human not robots. So thank God for sick and vacation time. Nurse mgrs are usually not the ones out on the floor taking care of patients. And can be quick to judge someones life or what they are going thru at home. We are told there is employee assistance and certain benefits but that fails nurses also. because there are certain requirements. A great nurse can also have issues to deal with and as soon as that happens they get well thats too bad or sorry but there are rules. that is very unfortunate since we are the ones who keep these facilities running. Where is the help and understanding for us. We are supposed to leave our problems at the door so it doesnt effect others. If you cant then dont come in to work. but atleast give those nurses the help they need. Some nurses do need to rethink if they hsould continue on as a nurse because it isnt for everyone.
  5. 2
    Wow there sure must be a lot of nurses out there who are just "having a bad day." Do most nurses get cheated on, lose their dogs, have a car accident, and have leaky pipes around the same time? Because as a student, I've had bad interactions with nurses even in the first 2 minutes of meeting. I literally walk up to them, smile, introduce myself...and before they have even had a chance to know me or see what I know or how I learn, I've had people give me attitude and talk about how crappy it is to have a student as though I'm not standing right in front of their faces. Sorry, but let's just call it what it is - SOME nurses are simply *******.
    Last edit by Silverdragon102 on Oct 28, '10 : Reason: changed to all ****
    LEI7777 and GadgetRN71 like this.
  6. 0
    Quote from checkthepoo
    wow there sure must be a lot of nurses out there who are just "having a bad day." do most nurses get cheated on, lose their dogs, have a car accident, and have leaky pipes around the same time? because as a student, i've had bad interactions with nurses even in the first 2 minutes of meeting. i literally walk up to them, smile, introduce myself...and before they have even had a chance to know me or see what i know or how i learn, i've had people give me attitude and talk about how crappy it is to have a student as though i'm not standing right in front of their faces. sorry, but let's just call it what it is - some nurses are simply *******.
    some people are just mean, nasty unpleasant sorts; nurses don't have an exclusive on that. but no one expects the sanitation worker to pick up your garbage and smile, chat, and listen to your dumb jokes while doing it, and if you're paying a lawyer by the hour you're probably not going to waste his time and your money by telling the dumb jokes in the first place. people seem to have higher expectations for nurses -- and that isn't always realistic.
    Last edit by Silverdragon102 on Oct 28, '10 : Reason: Changed to all ** in quote
  7. 0
    Quote from ruby vee
    some people are just mean, nasty unpleasant sorts; nurses don't have an exclusive on that. but no one expects the sanitation worker to pick up your garbage and smile, chat, and listen to your dumb jokes while doing it, and if you're paying a lawyer by the hour you're probably not going to waste his time and your money by telling the dumb jokes in the first place. people seem to have higher expectations for nurses -- and that isn't always realistic.
    this is true, and i realize this. i know that there are "sour" people everywhere, in all fields. however, and i can only speak for myself, i've encountered rude nurses far more frequently than nice nurses (towards students as a whole). it's a little peculiar to have someone say "if a nurse is rude then it must be your fault" when in my experiences the rudeness was apparent from the start. my thinking is - what exactly did i do to warrant such a response when all i did was walk up to them to listen to report? i know that as a student we are there to learn and to gain as much from the experience as possible, and yes, there needs to be flexibility to allow certain things to roll off our back. and believe me, i am very much the type who believes in just being helpful, learning, and doing vs. standing around complaining or huffing and puffing about what is being asked of us. it just becomes a little tiring to be treated poorly by *some* nurses.
  8. 0
    Quote from bratandtoadsmom
    Hmmm...just wondering if the post was titled "Nurses Are So Mean" because the op knew that title would get a lot of attention because, well, SOME nurses ARE mean.
    And that the term "lateral violence" exists because, yes, lateral violence does exist.
    Just as some people are bullies as children, some adults are bullies too. It's just that the bullying doesn't involve the playground anymore. Most schools have an anti-bullying week, when kids are educated on preventing bullying.

    To those of you who work in hospital administration, please please can we institute something like this at hospitals?
    Thanks
    Well, and this is why I find this thread ironic. How can you expect someone to excuse rude behavior based on the argument that nurses may have just been having a bad day, yet not be expected to show the same restraint in your own rude behavior? After all, we may not be in control of how we feel, but we should be in control of how we behave.
  9. 1
    Quote from CheckThePoo
    Well, and this is why I find this thread ironic. How can you expect someone to excuse rude behavior based on the argument that nurses may have just been having a bad day, yet not be expected to show the same restraint in your own rude behavior? After all, we may not be in control of how we feel, but we should be in control of how we behave.
    I believe the point was that students tend to throw anything other than a special warm and supportive welcome and "we're glad you're here!!" into the "rude basket". Therefore, a short and snippy-sounding answer to a question is automatically "rude". The nurse didn't say please and thank you, so he or she is "rude". A nurse with a poker face is "rude". A nurse who walks away from you quickly without explaining why is "rude". A nurse who sighs is "rude" (because you know she's sighing about you!). In truth, none of the aforementioned behaviors are rude. You may not like it, but the staff nurse-student relationship is not a peer relationship with all the expected niceities that go along with it. I see (and I'm not singling you out on this) a much more prevalent attitude of expectation and etitlement now-a-days as evidenced by the many descriptions by students of non-reciprocal treatment and how thoroughly miffed they are about it.

    Nobody should direct humiliating and degrading comments to you, but if you hear a nurse gripe to another nurse about "students" you can ignore it or get yourself in a twist about it if you want to, and it won't matter a hill of beans. You are in her workplace. You are asking her to bollix up her routine to accomodate you, even if you are the most fabulous nursing student on the planet it is difficult to do that. Students tend to be hyper-sensitive to every little cue and personalize it - some may pout or get sullen and gather into little groups to commiserate - that does get noticed by the staff as well. It would be great if we could look at someone and instantly know of their personality and purge every pre-conceived notion from out memory bank, but it won't happen. You'll have to figure out another way to adapt.
    thebonster likes this.
  10. 0
    Quote from nursel56
    I believe the point was that students tend to throw anything other than a special warm and supportive welcome and "we're glad you're here!!" into the "rude basket". Therefore, a short and snippy-sounding answer to a question is automatically "rude". The nurse didn't say please and thank you, so he or she is "rude". A nurse with a poker face is "rude". A nurse who walks away from you quickly without explaining why is "rude". A nurse who sighs is "rude" (because you know she's sighing about you!). In truth, none of the aforementioned behaviors are rude. You may not like it, but the staff nurse-student relationship is not a peer relationship with all the expected niceities that go along with it. I see (and I'm not singling you out on this) a much more prevalent attitude of expectation and etitlement now-a-days as evidenced by the many descriptions by students of non-reciprocal treatment and how thoroughly miffed they are about it.

    Nobody should direct humiliating and degrading comments to you, but if you hear a nurse gripe to another nurse about "students" you can ignore it or get yourself in a twist about it if you want to, and it won't matter a hill of beans. You are in her workplace. You are asking her to bollix up her routine to accomodate you, even if you are the most fabulous nursing student on the planet it is difficult to do that. Students tend to be hyper-sensitive to every little cue and personalize it - some may pout or get sullen and gather into little groups to commiserate - that does get noticed by the staff as well. It would be great if we could look at someone and instantly know of their personality and purge every pre-conceived notion from out memory bank, but it won't happen. You'll have to figure out another way to adapt.
    Fair enough, I understand your points.


Top